Kyouske, The Grand Master Of Illusion

[inspiration]

~User Data~

-Posting: multiple times a day

-Time Zone: central

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Vital Statistics~

Name: Suterusu, Kyouske

Birthplace: Kirigakure no Sato

Current Residence: Kirigakure no Sato

Age: 13

D.O.B.: 2102, Fall Aetas Argentums (AA)

Sex: male

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Appearance~

-Height: 5'7''

-Weight: 130 lbs.

-Hair Color: His hair is white with black bangs. The back of his hair is spiked in the back, seemingly defying gravity. His bangs hang over his left eye reaching about to his bottom lip.

-Eye Color: Gray

-Clothing: Kyouske wears a black fishnet shirt that underlies a knee length, leather trench coat. It is rolled up at the sleeves to the elbow and fastened with buckles. The trench coat is open at the chest, but connected at the pelvic area and collar bone. He also has black pants with small pouches sewn onto them for small projectile weapons such as kunai. His foot wear is black combat style boots with silver buckles.

-Physical Description: Kyouske is smaller than average, being more feminine than the rest of his male colleagues. His face is not very masculine, and his body is somewhat thin. Sunlight irritates Kyouske, so he spends most his time indoors, causing him to be pale. Kyouske is not very muscular at all, but you can still tell that he is fit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Persona~

Personality: Kyouske is not cold hearted or mean, just extremely shy. He is however, in contrast to his shyness, a very polite young man. He respects his elders and always shows his manners.

Likes: Kyouske likes magic tricks, illusions in particular. He is often found in parks by himself practicing such illusions as making a small ball disappear, or making a playing card levitate. He also loves the human mind. He spends almost as much time studying the mind as he does doing tricks.

Dislikes: Kyouske hates rude people. He also does not like being alone, yet he spends most his time secluded from others. Kyouske also dislikes people that think that the only way to win a battle is with strength, because this is not the truth. He also hates greedy, selfish people, who think everything revolves around them.

Favorites:

-Food: Hibachi Steak (Medium Rare)

-Color: Crimson

-Music Genre: Techno

-Book Genre: Kyouske does not like reading

-Hangout: Usually parks

-Sexuality: Heterosexual

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Background~

Current Allegiance: Resistance

Relationships:

-Parent(s): Suterusu, Ami; Suterusu, Zaku (deceased)

-Sibling(s): none

-Significant Other(s): none

-Pet(s): none

-Teacher(s): Zaku, Ami,

-Friend(s):

Suizuma Sukasai

History: Kyouske was born small and fragile, premature. As his mother held him in her arms, all she could do was smile, she was filled with so much joy, but it all came to a halt when Zaku entered the hospital room. Zaku, a large and powerful man, looked upon the small writhing child in disgust, he wanted a strong son, one with strength and the ability to succeed, yet he saw nothing of value with this one. He stormed out of the room, leaving the mother and child in silence.

Within the next few years, as Kyouske grew, it was apparent that he would be smaller, and weaker than the other boys, but this did not stop Zaku. He pushed his son, harder than he had ever been pushed, trying to make him strong, and big. But to no prevail. Zaku, however, did not stop, he had become consumed with the obsession of making his son a man. He would strap weights to his son, and make him jog miles in the morning.

When Kyouske was seven, his father suddenly died, at the age of 45. He died in his sleep, and the medical examiners never determined what had happened. Kyouske, saddened by this event, was now free. He now could do as he wished and become interested in other activities. This is when he became interested in magic.

Kyouske loved magic, he could do all sorts of tricks. The first one he learned was predicted which card the participant had chosen without looking. Kyouske had entered the academy in Kirigakure a little later than everyone else, but it was ok, he was a bright kid.

Although he did terrible in the art of Taijutsu, he did well in Ninjutsu, and excellent in Genjutsu. Oh how he loved the illusions of Genjutsu, it made him feel as though he was performing some large trick for an audience, so he always tried his best. He quickly rose to the top of his class in the illusion magic, but lowered to the worst at Taijutsu, even after the girls.

As he entered his final years at the academy he began to learn of the human mind, and he came to become very interested in it. He love it, studied it, and he practiced how to break it. He looked at it as a way to break down even the biggest bullies. He always observed everyone in class when he had finished his work on statistics and planning. He would always watch to see if their fears would be revealed. Once he noticed that the class bully had a terrible fear of spiders. One day the bully picked on him, and he put an illusion on the boys mind, making him feel like spiders were crawling upon him. His tricks were just an attempt however, to find self worth. He realized that capturing subjects and running diagnostics tests and evaluations on them was strictly.....forbidden. So he observed people from afar, jotting notes into a small pen pad, observing every detail of the irrational fears people had, the way people acted, and so on. He soon saw through covers that some people put on. Kyouske saw that the ones that looked happy were often depressed, and that the ones that looked depress were often just tired or bored. The young boy then realized that he could use his illusions and self taught knowledge of the mind to an advantage. He could merge skills together, and make a great combo.

All he had ever wanted to do before his father died was to make him proud, something he could never do now. His, mother was always proud of him, especially with his magic, which is why he strives to do his best at that. His mother likes it, so maybe others will. He also sees great opprotunities connection his love for makic and illusions and the human mind. What sorts of jutsu could he make with such skills? The kind that torque the mind into breaking, or the kind to sooth the suffering souls of the dying? Would he be an ANBU Interrogator, or possible someone to sooth and comfort those who they are are close to death.

Things had been different for Kyouske ever since the Kumo invasion eight years ago. He was not allowed to go outside, even for schooling, for his mother feared the worst, so he practiced his magic, all night, and all day. The whole invasion set him back three years, but Kyouske pushed through it with his love of magic. He often found it hard to sleep at night for he feared his death would come soon. He knew that the Kumo nin used lightning based jutsu, and he often arose from his sleep in a cold sweat, having just dreamed of being electrocuted to death. He slowly grew a fear of Lightning, something he could not understand, because he knew it was irrational, but he couldn't help it.

Five years ago the invasion was stopped, but something was wrong. It was hard to travel, hard to trade. Kirigakure now had an agency know as the NCIA (Ninja Crime Investigation Agency). His mother joined the NCIA, not out of wish, but out of protection for her son. He saw his mother become a slave to the organization, and be able to pay less and less attention to him. He hated the NCIA, and he vowed, every night before sleep, that he would find a way to get his mother out of it.

Finally, he had graduated the academy, remembering that he promised his mother to never attack first. He tried placing the hitai-ate on his forhead, but it was just too uncomfortable. So, he took a black sash of silk, and fastened the forehead protector onto it, and drapped it across his shoulder. Now he was ready to free his mother. The boy was ready to become something great. He was ready to be, The Grand Master of Illusion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Statistics

Death Bonus: None

Rank: Gennin

Level: 31

TXP: 7789

Total Stat Points: 3600

-Stats-

(Health) 500

(Stamina) 180

(Chakra) 600

(Taijutsu) 80

(Defense) 300

(Ninjutsu) 160

(Genjutsu) 600

(Concentration) 600

(Speed) 200

(Accuracy) 200

(Evasion) 200

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Skills~

Skill Point Tally: 20/24

Remaining Skill Points: 4

Skills:

GENERAL

Name:Inner Calm (Rank 1) (Rank 2) (Rank 3) (Rank 4)

Effects:Chakra-Based Techniques cost 5 10 15 20 less chakra (Minimum of 5 chakra must always be paid however).

Requirements:n/a

Cost:- -1

Ranks:10

Skill Name: Slight of Hand (Rank 1) (Rank 2) (Rank 3)

Bloodline: n/a

Description: Those gifted in the arts of Slight of Hand have quick hands. They have the abilities that others do not. Possessors of this ability can easily pickpocket, perform complex magic feats, and more.

Effect: When attacking with a Small weapon (shuriken, needles, etc), or using a Taijutsu involving Small weapons, the user's Accuracy is treated as being x points higher, as determined below, depending on rank.

Cost: -1

Ranks: 4

Rank 1=40

Rank 2=80

Rank 3=120

Rank 4=160

REGENERATION

Name: Chakra Flow

Effects: Rank 1: Gain 10% of your Total Chakra every turn. This replaces normal Chakra regeneration.

Rank 2: Gain 15% of your Total Chakra every turn. This replaces normal Chakra regeneration. Does not stack with previous ranks.

Cost: -5 per rank

HINDERING

Name:Fear of Elements (Lightning)

Effects:User is 'stunned' and 'disorganized' for one post after seeing an offensive jutsu of Lightning type used in battle by someone aside themselves or an ally, unless said ally is targeting the user.

Requirements:n/a

Cost: +1

Once for each village

Name:Self-Defense

Effects:Opponents always act first, no matter what.

Requirements:n/a

Cost: +2

Ranks:1

GENJUTSU

Name: Genjutsu Shaper (Rank 1) (Rank 2)

Effects: For every rank in this skill, status effects inflicted by Genjutsu will last one post longer. This will not allow you to break the maximum post duration of any status effect.

Requirements: n/a

Cost: -2

Ranks: 2

NINJUTSU

Name: Ninjutsu Mastery(Water) [Rank 1] [Rank 2]

Effects: Ninjutsu of the chosen type of element will deal a bonus +10 +20 damage. This bonus damage is considered part of the modifiers.

Requirements: n/a

Cost: -1

Ranks: 10

PATH

Name: Path of the Warrior

Effect: Gain 1 extra Jutsu Point every other level.

Warrior's Way: -Ninjutsu: May take 2 ranks of 'Ninjutsu Mastery' for 1 skill point.

-Genjutsu: May take 2 ranks of 'Genjutsu Creator' for 1 skill point.

Cost: -1

Skills learned from Jounins: (You can learn up to 4 SP worth of skills for free, if a Jounin teaches you them. Link to where you learned the skill.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Techniques~

Jutsu Points: 34 Used : 22 Available : 56 Total

GENJUTSU

Name: Rezakaruto (Razor Cards)

Type: Genjutsu

Rank: Genin

Cost: 80

Damage: 60 Ghost Damage

Effects: After the attack strikes and deals 60 Ghost Damage, the target is inflicted with an ‘Illusionary Bleeding' effect. This inflicts 8 Ghost Damage per turn for three turns after the attack hits the opponent.

Description: The user of this genjutsu ‘throws' two or three decks of cards into the air above the target. The ‘cards' then fan out and float vertically above the enemy. Then, all of a sudden, the cards shoot down onto the target, slicing into their ‘flesh'. The target rises, now ‘bleeding' from many ‘cards' slicing through their ‘flesh'.

Points: 4

Name: Water Type; Sea Illness

Type: Genjutsu (Water)

Rank: Gennin

Cost: 80 Chakra

Damage: 20

Effect:s: Opponent is left "Sickened” for 2 turns.

Description: Using Genjutsu the Shinobi causes the opponent to feel the simulated effects that Sea Sickness gives people. Particularly useful against those weak of the mind and can cripple the strongest Taijutsu fighters.

Points: 4

Name: Mahou Karuto no Jutsu (Magic Card Technique)

Type: Genjutsu

Rank: Chuunin

Cost: X

Damage: X

Effects: X is the damage value of the ‘card' rolled, Roll a d100, this determines the value of the ‘card' that is used in the attack.

• 1-10 results in a 2, which is 5 damage. If this is rolled, the next time you use this technique you automatically add 50 to your roll for the card.

• 11-20 results in a 3, which is 10 damage. If this is rolled, the next time you use this technique you automatically add 45 to your roll for the card.

• 20-30 results in a 4, which is 20 damage. If this is rolled, the next time you use this technique you automatically add 40 to your roll for the card.

• 30-35 results in a 5, which is 30 damage. If this is rolled, the next time you use this technique you automatically add 35 to your roll for the card.

• 35-40 results in a 6, which is 40 damage. If this is rolled, the next time you use this technique you automatically add 30 to your roll for the card.

• 40-50 results in a 7, which is 50 damage. If this is rolled, the next time you use this technique you automatically add 25 to your roll for the card.

• 50-55 results in an 8, which is 60 damage. If this is rolled, the next time you use this technique you automatically add 20 to your roll for the card.

• 55-60 results in a 9, which is 70 damage. If this is rolled, the next time you use this technique you automatically add 15 to your roll for the card.

• 60-70 results in a 10, which is 80 damage. If this is rolled, the next time you use this technique you automatically add 10 to your roll for the card.

Face cards yield more damage than a numerical card.

• 70-80 results in a Jack, which is 90 damage, plus the target is Bruised for 2 turns and Startled for 1 turn.

• 80-85 results in a Queen, which is 90 damage, plus the target is Charmed for 2 turns. Status effect does not work on female or homosexual characters.

• 85-95 results in a King, which is 90 damage, plus thr target is Clobbered for 1 turn and Startled for 2 turns.

• 95 and above results in an Ace, which is 90 damage, plus the target is Startled, Tired, and inflicted with Impaired Touch for one turn each. Also, the target is inflicted with Impaired Eyesight for 2 turns.

This technique may only be used 4 times per battle, seeing is there are only 4 suits for each card. A max of 90 damage is set.

Description: When this jutsu is activated, the user creates and illusion all too real for the target. The user creates a massive deck of cards that shuffles itself before the target. After the deck shuffles, the top card stands, and the rest of the deck disipates into smoke, for dramatic effect. If the card is a 1-10, the a massive volly of shuriken, kunai, and senbon shoot out at the target. The Jack steps from his card, armed with brass knuckles. He slams his armed fists into the targets ribs. The Queen steps out seductively, wearing very skimpy lingere. She walks in a sexy manner to the target, and kisses them, then slapping them. The King steps down from his portrait, weilding a mighty staff. He proceeds to beat the target senseless, both harming, and startling them. The Ace shoots out a think cloud of black dust on the target. Although nothing is there, the target is startled by the sudden blast of 'smoke', acquires numb finger tips, becomes tired, and also has a burning senesation in their eyes.

Points: 3

Name: Futa Karuto (Cover Cards)

Type: Genjutsu

Rank: Chuunin

Cost: 150

Damage: n/a

Effects: This technique inflicts the blind status effect for three(3) turns. (see blind for exact effects). Every turn that the target is ‘blinded', s/he rolls a d10. rolling a 1-3 will break the genjutsu and restore their stats to normal. Anything else, however, they stay blinded, so long as the user has the ability to pay the upkeep cost (DP restrictions apply).

Description: The user send a wave of cards to swarm around to opponent, causing it to be extremely hard, if not, impossible to see. Small gaps however plague the eclipse of light, so there are SOME openings for the victim to see from.

Points: 5

Secret Might (Kyuusho Chikara)

Type: Genjutsu (Water)

Rank: Gennin

Cost: 60

Damage: 60 Ghost Damage

Effect: Damage dealt is "ghost" damage. If the damage would cause the target to die they are completely stunned for one post instead. Jutsu Rules for ghost damage explaination.

Description: The user creates the form of any type of water jutsu they wish, regardless of level or restrictions, and uses the phantom jutsu to crush their opponent, shocking them senseless.

Points: 3

Name: Bunshin no Jutsu (Clone Technique)

Type: Genjutsu

Rank: Academy Student

Cost: 10

Description: Creates an illusionary replica of the user. It is unable to attack or interact with other objects, but can serve as a good distraction.

Effect: Adds +5 evasion and +5 accuracy for each clone. Once a clone is hit it is destroyed, and the bonuses with it.

Name: Henge no Jutsu (Transformation Technique)

Type: Genjutsu

Rank: Academy Student

Cost: 5 Genjutsu

Effects: Change your appearance. A character 25+ levels above the one who uses this technique can see through it.

Description: Wrap chakra around your body to change your appearance. You take that physical form, but only to a certain extent, such as body shape and size. You cannot, for instance, turn your arm into a bow and start firing ammunition at an opponent.

NINJUTSU

Name: Hidden Mist Skill (Kirigakure no Jutsu)

Type: Ninjutsu (Water)

Rank: Gennin

Cost: 80

Damage: N/A

Effect: Adds terrain effect 'Mist' to the battlefield for three turns. The user does not suffer the Mist terrain penalty while they keep this jutsu active. Terrain effect is doubled for those with an active Doujutsu.

Description: A technique that uses moisture in the air to engulf the opponent in mist. This mist makes it harder for your opponent to see, which gives you more of a chance for a sucessful strike.

Points: 4

Name: Liquid Thorns (Sui Ibara)

Type: Ninjutsu (Water)

Rank: Gennin

Cost: 4 Chakra for each thorn (5 max)

Damage: 4 Damage for each thorn (5 max)

Effect: N/A

Description: An extremely simple technique, a Kiri nin will be able to manipulate water in the air into small spikes that are shot at the target.

Points: 1

Name: Spin Cycle (Jiten Shuuha)

Type: Ninjutsu (Water)

Rank: Gennin

Cost: 40

Damage: 25

Effect: A successful strike reduces defense by 20 for the next two posts.

Description: A small whirlpool of water is created under the target and stabs up with great force, causing damage and disorientation.

Points: 2

Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu (Body Substitute Technique)

Type: Ninjutsu

Rank: Academy Student

Cost: 10

Damage: None

Effects: Evade the next attack aimed at you. Skip your main and setup phase this turn. You can only use this 1 time per battle. This technique cannot be used to dodge Ninjutsu, Taijutsu or Genjutsu Techniques.

Description: A lifesaver, and a must-have technique. With this technique, the user is able to swap their body with a nearby object, usually a log, which will take the full force of any incoming blows for them, while they retreat to safe ground or search for an opening.

Jutsu learned from Jounins: 6/12

Live Your Fears: Drown Me Softly

Type: Genjutsu (Water)

Rank: Chuunin

Cost: 70

Damage: N/A

Effect: Target is inflicted with Distracted, Afraid, and Disorganized for 1 Turn. May only be used Once in battle by a Gennin, three times by Chuunin, and five times by Jounin.

Description: Manipulates the mind of the opponent. Target sees and feels as if they are surrounded by water, tricking them into believing they are drowning.

Points: 6 (Learned as Gennin)

Learned Here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Inventory~

--Armor:

Hitai-ate

-Head:

-Neck:

-Body: Hitai-ate as if it were a sash

-Waist:

-Forearm(s):

-Hand(s):

-Thigh(s):

-Calve(s):

-Feet:

--Weapons:

-Main Weapon:

-Sub Weapon:

--Item Listing

-Items on Hand: 4 Large Shuriken, 3 Shuriken, 3 Kunai, and 4 Senbon Needles

-Items in Vault: None

-Money on Hand: $575

-Money in Bank: 0

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Logs~

Four(4) JP~Holiday Gift 2009

50 Ryo($)~Holiday Gift 2009

Four(4) Large Shuriken~Holiday Gift 2009-

Die Roll

300 Ryo($)~Bog Adventures

100 Ryo($)~Holiday Gifts

2 SP~Holiday Gifts

Exp Earned:

708 EXP-Diving Back In

2800 EXP-Bog Adventures

100 EXP-Holiday Gifts

281 EXP-Mother-Daughter Bonding

3900 EXP-Far-Off Distance

Transaction Log:

Mission Log:

Rank D:

Rank C:

Rank B: 1

Rank A:

Rank S: 1

Total: 2

Edited July 7, 2010 by inspiration

[Rei]

Good start on the history so far. It's nice seeing someone a relatable all the patriotic heroes during the Kumo era, but the history is lacking some depth. You're missing the emotional trigger that shapes a character's life, such as Naruto's need for approval or from our own world Umikoi Warrusu's love for his grandfather. Try considering what your character really wants and why; it'll help further develop him.

[inspiration]

Good start on the history so far. It's nice seeing someone a relatable all the patriotic heroes during the Kumo era, but the history is lacking some depth. You're missing the emotional trigger that shapes a character's life, such as Naruto's need for approval or from our own world Umikoi Warrusu's love for his grandfather. Try considering what your character really wants and why; it'll help further develop him.

so you mean like give him a basic goal in life or something?

[Rei]

so you mean like give him a basic goal in life or something?

Sure; if it helps.

[inspiration]

*update*

added motive, hope it helps

[Azure]

I think he should meet my one character. They'll have brain fun together.

On a more serious note, I suggest taking a look at the Shinobi Times and adding something from the Kumo era since it was a huge part of the world's history. As for statistics, you've spent all your skill points, please update that.

[inspiration]

*UPDATE*

Did what ya said, thanks

[cntrstrk14]

You should do your non tank stats in increments of 20, as that's when the bonuses are given. For instance the 5 extra in Ninjutsu does not give you any more bonus than if you only had 20 in them, and if you put that 5 extra into say, Defense instead it would put Defense at 80 giving you extra effects.

[inspiration]

*updated*

hope that got it

*edit*

also would it be a good idea to just seal my taijutsu?

Edited December 1, 2009 by inspiration

[Rhapsody]

Vitals

• It's Kirigakure, not Kirigakura. ^^
  

Appearance

• I'd add some more to his hair- just a little more than 'white with black bangs.' It is long or short? How is it cut? You don't need to put a whole paragraph, but a sentence or two can make a world of difference.
  For his clothing, you should replaced 'fasted' with 'fastened' (referring to the coat) and 'sheaths' with 'pockets' or 'pouches' (referring to the shuriken) Sheaths generally house larger bladed weapons, like tantos and katanas, and can't simply be sewn onto one's pants. (I think.)
  The last sentence in his physical description, I would change to: 'Though his body is lean, Kyouske's muscles are still visible.' I think that's what you were trying to say?
  

Personality

• So, for the main description of his persona... you're quite brief, and I'm sort of left confused by some of the wording. Try something like: 'Although Kyouske is thought to be a sad, lonely person by his peers, he is actually a happy person. Polite, his shy nature and fear of rejection often leave his unwilling to speak with other people.' You could also add other dimensions, such as what Kyou is like toward strangers vs friends, and how e acts while engaged in battle.
  Your likes and dislikes are well done. :3 However, one sentence in the dislikes section sticks out. Try changing 'He dislikes people who think that the only way to win is with muscle, but it is not true' to 'He dislikes people who think that the only way to win is with muscle, because this is not true.'
  Also, how does one delight in studying the human mind when they dislike reading? Does he find his information through experimenting by himself on people? (It should be noted that this is an illegal sort of thing, as it would be in our world. However, it might be an interesting route to try for Kyou. just a suggestion. ^^)
  

History

• So, there's some grammatical errors and run on sentences, as well as a few words that don't fit, but you did a really good job overall. :3 The impression I get from this history is that Kyouske is quite morbid - perhaps secretly? - and very observant. He strives to make people proud of himself and is always reaching out for his goal, even if he may be too scared to take the prize. This back story says a lot more than his persona does. ^^
  The only thing I can really say you missed was the Kumo war. Basically, they invaded every country, stuck around for 3 years and then were defeated. After this, we had a five year skip. To your character, at age 13, the defeat of Kumo and the NCIA would have occurred at age 8. Kyou's mother would have her shop back by now. (:
  

Anyways, I hoped I helped as much as you were expecting. ^^; I guess I would just recommend that you experiment with a little more description, varying your words up, and don't fall into the trap of beginning every sentence with the same word. You do this in your persona. I would just recommend that you go for variety in yor writing style. Try to structure your sentences differently and use metaphors and other literary devices to add entertainment and better description.

[inspiration]

i fixed it some, i hope its ok now o.O

[cntrstrk14]

You still have your notes in the log section, and you should really write in a portion mentioning the Kumogakure Empire. They invaded 8 years ago, were overthrown 5 years ago and for those 3 years they established the NCIA (Ninja Crime Investigation Agency) in every hidden village. They basically either made you join the NCIA or hunted you down for using ninja arts.

but aside that you are...

STATISTICALLY APPROVED

[Warr]

I will be reviewing this tomorrow.

I reserve the right as head-GM over Kirigakure to give the second approval.

[inspiration]

woo! Statistically Approved thats an almost approved

[Warr]

I'd like to see more personality.

And you should really read around Shinobi Times.

The history won't float as it is, because you have him starting in the academy at 7 (he's 13 now, so six years ago), which would have been exactly in the middle of the NCIA war, and the civil war within Kirigakure no Sato. I'd also like at least some remark on the invasion by Kumogakure no Sato (which would have been when he was 5 years old.), and the subsequent occupation of 3 years.

[inspiration]

HAHA! I fixed it, i think, i hope thats more what youre lookin for, i hope it is just more input

[cntrstrk14]

I created a much needed article on the wiki for the Kumogakure Empire. Take a look and read over it, should clear up what the Empire was in the game. Once Warr gives the thumbs up here I will approve as well.

Kumogakure Empire

[inspiration]

haHa thank you!

btw, i added my approved skill, and also, do i have to take rank 1 first? or can i bypass that and go straight to two

Edited December 4, 2009 by inspiration

[Azure]

You must take them in succession.

[inspiration]

ok then now all i need is Warr to approve so that cntrstrk will, and then one more approval and im all good >.>

[inspiration]

bump....please?

[cntrstrk14]

APPROVED

Need one more; Since Warr is away until Wednesday I would say just enjoy the Christmas RP and wait the two days. If he does not post here by late Thursday let me know.

[inspiration]

will do, and i will, it seems interesting already

[Warr]

You need to mention, with a specific amount of detail, how -old- he was when he graduated the academy.

Either he waited until after the war to get his schooling (the more feasible and likely situation of the two), or he is older than he currently is. Because if he was in the academy before the war and there's no mention of having to deal with being a 'slave of the NCIA' while in the Academy, then he's older. If he had already graduated the academy by the time the war had happened, he would have been around 2 years old when he entered the academy, which I'm sure we can both be is a bit unrealistic.

And while I'm not saying you're implying, others could misread as it is.

You have a statistic approval from me, but the age bit needs to be fixed.

[inspiration]

I fixed what you said, in the paragraph about things being different since the Kumo invasion. I added where it says that he couldnt go outside that he couldnt even go to school. and that it set him back 3 years