Guest loll22 Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 (edited) ~User Data~ -Username:loll22 -Posting: every day to 2 days ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Name:Garagara Jay Village:kumo(cloud) Clan:no name Age:10. ~Appearance~ -Height:5.1 -Weight:120 -Hair Color: purple(he has spikey hair) -Eye Color:blue -Clothing:purple taank top blue jeancs wears head band on wasit with purple cloth -Physical Description:a tatoo of a purple dragon on chest Story/Background:Garagara Jay lived in the village hidden in the clouds. He would study the myths of the dragons and even get a tatto to show how much he loved them.His dream was to find the so called komodo dragon. Ever night he would light a torch because he was terrably afraid of the dark.and go outside to see if there was a thuder storm and if there was he would sit a wacth the linghting. Others nights he would train in the darkness with the torch and eventualy became very fast.After awhile Jay deicied to move away and became a ninja to prefect his speed and just mabye find the komodo dragon. Personality:always in a good mod and will never take anything seriously even if it is life or death he trys to make those around him laugh and trys to avoid combat as much as possable and would never want to kill in any sicumstance Likes:Lighting,dragons(including komodo dragon) Dislikes:innocet deaths,darkness ~Favorite~ -Food:teraka steak -Color:purple -Animal:komodo dragon Ninja Stats Level:0 TXP:0 -Stats Health Power) 50 (Stamina) 20 (Chakra) 100 (Taijutsu) 0 (Defense) 0 (Ninjutsu) 200 (Resistance) 0 (Genjutsu) 0 (Concentration) 0 (Speed) 50 (Accuracy) 100 (Evasion) 50 Skills:Extreme Endurance:Your strength far exceeds simple endurance. For a number of posts equal to your rank in this skill, you can continue to fight using your HP in place of your Stamina, once your stamina reaches 0. You may only use Taijutsu techniques during these posts, and when the skill expires you immediatly pass out (or worse, at a Kage's discretion) regardless of any other skill you may have. This is your "last wind." Techniques:Beginning (Akebono) Type: Ninjutsu Rank: Gennin Cost: 40 Damage: 30 Effect: Half of any damage dealt by this technique is absorbed back as life. Description: A lash of vapor swipes through the opponent, drawing at their very chakra and essence and lashing back to the user, revitalizing them. Wish; Dream (Negai; Yume) Type: Genjutsu Rank: Gennin Cost: 40 Damage: N/A Effect: -80 accuracy Description: The user becomes the person most desired (or cared for if they desire no one) by the target in their eyes. This makes it hard to strike them for obvious reasons. Basic Academy Jutsus (Gained automatically upon character approval): Bunshin no Jutsu (Clone Technique) Type: Genjutsu Rank: Academy Student Cost: 10 Genjutsu Description: Creates an illusionary replica of the user. It is unable to attack or interact with other objects, but can serve as a good distraction. Damage: None Effects: Adds +5 evasion and +5 accuracy for each clone. Once a clone is hit it is destroyed, and the bonuses with it. Name: Henge no Jutsu (Transformation Technique) Type: Genjutsu Rank: Academy Student Cost: 5 Genjutsu Description: Wrap chakra around your body to change your appearance. You can still use the features of the thing you can become, e.g. use the claws of a clawed animal, but not to the extent of if you were that thing. Damage: None Effects: Change your appearance. Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu (Body Substitute Technique) Type: Ninjutsu Rank: Academy Student Cost: 10 Ninjutsu Description: A lifesaver, and a must-have technique. With this technique, the user is able to swap their body with a nearby object, usually a log, which will take the full force of any incoming blows for them, while they retreat to safe ground or search for an opening. You can only use this 3 times per battle. Damage: None Effects: Evade the next attack aimed at you. You are unable to attack the opponent the turn you use this. You can only use this 3 times per battle. This technique cannot be used to dodge Ninjutsu, Taijutsu or Genjutsu Techniques. Armor: -Head: Village Amulet(no bonus-must be worn SOMEWHERE on your body) -Neck: -Body: -Waist -Forearm(s): -Hand(s): -Thigh(s): -Calve(s): -Feet: Weapons: -Main Weapon: -Sub Weapon: -Un-equipped Slot one: -Un-equipped Slot two: -Un-equipped Slot three: Items-- -Pouch: 3 Shuriken, 3 Kunai, and/or 4 Needles -Items in Vault: Nothing -Money on hand: $125 Animals--(not requirement, mostly for clan stuff) ~Update Log~ Character Approval: (date, and by whom) Leveled up: (when? link it please) Exp Earned: (when? where? why? link it please) ~Money Log~ (how much money you spent, when, and who approved it) ~Battle Log~ Wins: (against whom?) Losses: (against whom?) Draws: (against whom?) ~Mission Log~ Rank D: Rank C: Rank B: Rank A: Rank S: Edited February 11, 2006 by loll22
Cloudnine Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 Ah...you have two jutsu slots, and one of them is blank, and the other has a nonexistent technique. You might want to check out the tech pages, or get your own jutsu approved. Also, this site uses Japanese souding names. I'd advise you to check that out as well. The ninja stats are a bit odd...since I'm sure that some of them need at least more than 0, or else you automatically lose. ((I'm talking about stamina. Some other stuff you'd need for combat.)) Remember to run the sheet throught a spelling/grammar check, and proofread your work. Do that after you've fleshed out and elaborated on some finer points of your character, such as background and personality. Thats all I can see. ^^
Guest loll22 Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 ok i will proof read and add more detail but my jutsu was real A Thousand Birds (Chidori) [aka Lighting Edge/Cut] Type: Ninjutsu Rank: Jounnin Cost: 110 Effect: Deals 150 damage. Adds 20 to the user's accuracy. It can be dodged like a normal attack(meaning: if the opponent has higher evasion than the user's accuracy, then they're gonna dodge it) This Ninjutsu can break through any barrier. Description: The User gathers chakra in his hand to the point where the chakra is visible to the naked eye. It looks very much like lighting itself. Then the user runs at the opponent at a very high speed, which simulates the noise that 1000 birds would make. The user than puts his/her hand out as to impale the opponent with the attack. It is said it can break through any fortification and cause major damage to any opponent.
Azure Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 A Thousand Birds (Chidori) [aka Lighting Edge/Cut]Type: Ninjutsu Rank: Jounnin Cost: 110 Effect: Deals 150 damage. Adds 20 to the user's accuracy. It can be dodged like a normal attack(meaning: if the opponent has higher evasion than the user's accuracy, then they're gonna dodge it) This Ninjutsu can break through any barrier. Description: The User gathers chakra in his hand to the point where the chakra is visible to the naked eye. It looks very much like lighting itself. Then the user runs at the opponent at a very high speed, which simulates the noise that 1000 birds would make. The user than puts his/her hand out as to impale the opponent with the attack. It is said it can break through any fortification and cause major damage to any opponent. it may be real but you can't take it, it's a jounin jutsu and you start as a gennin so you'll have to delete it and find another than that
Guest loll22 Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 Beginning (Akebono) Type: Ninjutsu Rank: Gennin Cost: 40 Damage: 30 Effect: Half of any damage dealt by this technique is absorbed back as life. Description: A lash of vapor swipes through the opponent, drawing at their very chakra and essence and lashing back to the user, revitalizing them. this good?
Azure Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 yes, now edit it into the tech section, i'd recommend putting the other jutsus under the academy jutsus and have them decending as you learn them, just trying to make it easier
Guest loll22 Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 (edited) so far added japanesse last name [X] cleaned up some spelling errors [X] edited stats [X] added new move and got rid of old one [X] looks good so far any more tips? Edited February 6, 2006 by loll22
Guest the99tailedfox Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 (edited) you still have spelling problems but i like everything else.] im no mod but just change that and add those justus and its good.(to me at least) EDIT:ok for your pet you need that approved first(i dont know if you haved or not. and for this Quote:Skills:Extreme Endurance i "think" you need that approved too.(i think) EDIT 2:you need to do a spell check Edited February 6, 2006 by the99tailedfox
Sex Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 Question: Why do you have 50 stamina when you don't have any points in Taijutsu or Accuracy?
Guest the99tailedfox Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 (edited) ok wow this is yours (Health Power) 200 (Stamina) 50 (Chakra) 50 (Taijutsu) 0 (Defense) 0 (Ninjutsu) 100 (Resistance) 0 (Genjutsu) 0 (Concentration) 0 (Speed) 100 (Accuracy) 0 (Evasion) 0 you need Concentration for justus Genjutsu for most justus what good is 200 Health if you have no defence how are you going to attack people with no taijustu. i mean are you going to post their lost tag: (HP -0 /stamina-2 /chrakra -0) you just would be waisting your own stats. Edited February 6, 2006 by the99tailedfox
Guest loll22 Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 (edited) I have a pet what are you talking about? and if i need to have ablitly aproved i will edit it out and i might as well spread my stats around but i keeping the 200 heath Edited February 6, 2006 by loll22
Guest the99tailedfox Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 ok( for the stat part) but you only have 2 topics and you dont have any on animal creation. soooooooo what are YOU talking about.
Sex Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 Note: Try to keep everything (except Health, Stamina, Chakra) divisable by 20. It's easier that way because the caps work in 20's.
Guest loll22 Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 ugh 2 topics? are you talking about my faverites because the only other time animal comes up is at the end with not nessary
Guest the99tailedfox Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 o ok sorry i thought it was under owned thigs and stuff like that
Kouta Posted February 6, 2006 Posted February 6, 2006 Your descriptive ablities are atrocious...doubt you even understand that word. You need a better background. I mean without sentences bumping together, actual punctuation, a bit of spelling ,and something plausible. How the fun can you like lightning dragons? THEY DON'T EXIST! We have one dragon summoning, but dragons do not live in the world of naruto. Your dislikes run together liek one giant word..use fucking punctuation. In other words, eveyrthing that isn't directly copied looks terrible..and you need to post what your skill does, even if its on main page, because that just looks tacky.
Guest loll22 Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 Dude take a chill pill. I put comma where they should be. Added the whole page of my skill. And working on a new and better story Also Jay likes lighting AND dragons not both. ok?
Azure Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 you still need another gennin level cloud jutsu
Guest Link Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 change your accuracy and evasion. cause as it is u can't hit the broad side of a barn and u couldn't even doge a falling tree.
Sex Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 I will reiterate: Please place your stat points in groups divisable by 20. (Everything but Health/Stamina/Chakra) It makes it easier because everything else is capped by 20s.
Guest kuratg Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 Experiment-Elgnal, aside from putting some MAJOR points into all of his stats that are labled '0', he doesn't have to do a damn thing to his stat points. Sure, it'll make it easier with boosts, but those are HIS stats, not yours, so he can do whatever he wants with them. With that being said, he technically doesn't even have to change the ones that say '0', unless a staffie steps in and says otherwise. If he wants a super weak/easilly killable character, that's up to him.
Guest loll22 Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 (edited) ok the stat thing is very confusing i end up cuting my heatlh in 2 but i need clearly suggestions i want to use stronger in ninjus any tips on that? p.s. adding second tech Edited February 7, 2006 by loll22
shizuki Posted February 7, 2006 Posted February 7, 2006 Yours -Stats- (Health Power)200 (Stamina) 50 (Chakra) 50 (Taijutsu)50 (Defense) 0 (Ninjutsu) 50 (Resistance) 0 (Genjutsu) 0 (Concentration) 50 (Speed)50 (Accuracy)50 (Evasion) 0 Suggested: -Stats (Health Power) 50 (Stamina) 20 (Chakra) 100 (Taijutsu) 0 (Defense) 0 (Ninjutsu) 200 (Resistance) 0 (Genjutsu) 0 (Concentration) 0 (Speed) 50 (Accuracy) 100 (Evasion) 50
Sex Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 Experiment-Elgnal, aside from putting some MAJOR points into all of his stats that are labled '0', he doesn't have to do a damn thing to his stat points. Sure, it'll make it easier with boosts, but those are HIS stats, not yours, so he can do whatever he wants with them. With that being said, he technically doesn't even have to change the ones that say '0', unless a staffie steps in and says otherwise. If he wants a super weak/easilly killable character, that's up to him. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Erm . . . I'm sorry I think you misunderstood me. I told him to PLEASE do it and that it would make things easier if he did. Sorry if you thought I was ordering . . . >_>
