The Full Ronaldo! Alchem Syaoran; Hero? Or Villain on the Rise?

[Kouta]

Alchem Syaoran: Who are You Really?

Alchem Syaoran. One of the only surviving members of the Alchem Clan, and the current Tsuchikage, this man is known the world over. People have heard of his meteoric rise to fame as one of the fabled Hachi-nin who took out the Crazy Raikage, and subsequent arrival in the seat of his power. But one thing nobody has ever asked is: Is this man who he says he is?

Today, the investigator reporters of "Keep Beach City Weird" are going to investigate this tall tale and get to the truth of some disturbing facts. By the end of our essay, I hope you have a better understanding of exactly who this man is, and the danger he poses to our world.

To begin, let us just start with a brief summary of his powers. The Alchem Clan are functionally ageless. They can change their appearance more of less on will, as Alchem Sanj, a cousin with the same powers, frequently demonstrates. In addition, Syaoran possesses a very unique set of jutsu, namely the Flying Thunder God. For those readers who don't know, Flying Thunder God is a jutsu that lets you instantaneously travel to any place on earth you've previously marked. So in short, we have a nigh immortal teleporting demi-deity to work with. Like Superman, all that power usually leads to corruption. Let's see how clean Syaoran has been?

1. His Wife
Alchem Syaoran's wife, Onkyou Kia, is a world famous beauty and is a renown ninja in her own right. But did you know, dear readers, that Kia MIGHT BE A ZOMBIE!?

Thats right guys and gals! We at "Keep Beach City Weird" did some investigative journalism, and discovered that during the Freedom of Sunagakure no Sato from their would be NCIA oppressors, Kia was crushed and killed under tons of rock and debris in a cave-in.

So who is this woman on Syaoran's arm at the Arrakis Ninja Arts Tournament? At the Metropolis Chunnin Exams? Mothering his Child?

Could it be that Syaoran not only discovered the Flying Thunder God in an old scroll, but the Edo Tensei as well? IS Kia a revived corpse of his former lover, brought to life through dark, secret arts? Was this the first step on Syaoran's path to dark retribution for a world who killed his woman? We think it is, and the picture it begins to paint only gets darker.

2. The Rakurai Project
Not long after Kia was killed in battle, Syaoran was involved in a heated battle with a man who had incredible power! His opponent was so strong, he could rip into the fabric of space itself and move at impossible speeds, chasing down Syaoran. Eventually, our Hero Turning Villain stopped in an island he "claimed" was deserted. The resulting battle ended in a cataclysmic explosion the world has never known, and likely never will again. OR will we?

The explosion was kept pretty hush hush, but environmental experts have been clearing large swathes of coastline nearest to the explosion, citing that the water and the beach had become "Extremely toxic". This project was called, in some circles, The Rakurai Project. It is still pretty top secret, but the explosion that got released there contained some wicked energy, and scientists say that it will create long lasting effects that even now we don't know the extent of. Now, details in this fight are noticeably light, since it is said Syaoran and this Rakurai were the only people on the island. Who knows? Did Syaoran trigger this explosion, using it to put down perhaps the only man on earth who could kill him? We seem to think so.

What we know for sure, however, is that the "deserted" island, was actually not deserted at all! Sokudo Sonikku is well known for being from a coastal village ON THAT ISLAND! Thats right! Syaoran nuked an island where people were living on it! Was it his grief over the loss of Kia that pushed him to extremes? Did he not care what happened to other people? Was this the start of a downward, evil spiral?

Or the beginning of a dastardly plan?

We called ourselves "Keep Beach City Weird" because of what happened on the coasts surrounding that island. When we first started digging nito this case, we were hoping to find an answer to why fish showed up two heads, or people got increasingly sick while living there. Never did we think we would blow the top off a conspiracy that might encompass the entire known world!

Because also on that island was an NCIA that Syaoran had attacked recently. Perhaps he was thwarted in trying to recover or hide some crucial piece of evidence linking him to crimes even we reporters know nothing of. With the nuclear detonation of the base, now we'll never know. We can only suspect that this is when Syaoran went off the rails, propelled by grief to some very dark thoughts.

3. World Domination
We surmise, that with these two events, the death and zombification of Kia by methods unknown, and the nuclear explosion set off on "Ikimasa" island, Syaoran began the reach for world power in a long game we might never have noticed if we hadn't stumbled right into it. Let's look at how Syaoran has manipulated every major ninja country to get to this moment in time, shall we?

Kusagakure. The Mysterious Explosion
There are very few details regarding The destruction of Kusa. We know for sure only that a violent explosion wiped the entire city off the map, for good. We also know that the area left behind possessed some kind of poisonous toxin, that would have spread had not Haramtsu Korin Current and final Harakage, not turned into a tree to purify the area.

Now, I know what you're thinking. These effects sound EXACTLY like the nuclear site at Ikimasa Island. In fact, one might surmise that Ikimasa was a template for this later explosion! "But Ronaldo," you might say, "there's no evidence to suggest this explosion is simply a large version of the explosion used on Ikimasa island." And there you would be wrong!

We have eyewitness reports of several of the Hachinin all going to visit Kusa directly after its explosion. We know during that time, Korin became the tree that now sits at the center, and Syaoran got in a heated conflict with the other Hachi-nin. Had they discovered that HE set off the explosion? Had they decided he was too dangerous to let live? Details are unclear, but that means we know Syaoran was at the scene of crime, and ONLY HE had knowledge of how to make such an explosion. We posit to you this, readers:

Syaoran's explosion on Ikimasa was his first time using the nuclear power he had obtained. He knew it wouldn't be enough to take over the world, so, in need of a site to further test his Nuclear Bomb Strategy, Syaoran destroyed the city itself, knowing Kusa a relatively small nation, and one that would be easily ignored by the major powers that be.

And here we sit, several years later and not ONE definitive theory or arrest regarding those actions. I think Syaoran chose a good site for his bomb, yes?

Kumogakure, The Raikage’s Death
This one is most obvious. After his explosion, Syaoran assembled a crack team of the world’s most powerful ninja, later called the Hachi-nin. Under a guise of ending the war, Syaoran used the powers of these combined ninja to rid him of one of the most powerful men left on the country after Rakurai, and summarily killed him. By beheading him, Syaoran destabilized the entire NCIA and Kumo for quite some time, removing the immediate challenger for his power.

Kumo has been pretty stable ever since, but the Chunnin Exams aren’t over, and there’s still time for everything to go crooked…

Kirigakure. His Clone
Some time ago, a very hush hush series of events brought to life that Syaoran may have had a Clone of his person, posing as a young ninja in a foreign nation. It is unclear if this clone was created in the process of learning how to bring Kia back to life, or if it was created afterwards, but for a time Kia was seen with a young boy who happened to look almost EXACTLY like a younger Syaoran. These tow lived in Kiri for some time, and are believed to have been subtly nudging the population to it Civil War that eventually ensued during their time there.

Now, a skeptical reader might say ”Maybe its unconnected.” Or “Maybe he had no idea.” Which would be true, except on the eve of the Civil War in Kiri, Syaoran arrived in the hidden village and conversed with his clone and his zombie wife! Kicking off the effects of the civil war, Syaoran destabilized Kiri for several successions to come, leading to the most recent takeover by now Mizukage Saizo!

Why target Kiri you ask? Well, some might argue that it’s a target of convenience. Syaoran needed to topple a major domino, and Kiri was weakest. I however, say its more than that. Kiri, dependant on water for trade, probably noticed the poisonous nuclear effects in water around their home. Needing to distract them and turn them away from the conspiracy at hand, Alchem Syaoran SINGLE HANDEDLY orchestrated a coup and a civil war so nobody would trace the chemical imbalances back to Ikimasa Island, and the Nuclear Explosion.

Otogakure, The Famine & The Drought
It is no secret to anyone currently living that Oto is undergoing a massive, highly unorthodox drought which has caused widespread famine. In fact, they’ve become the pauper nation begging for aid from Konoha, Kiri, and if sources can be believed, a visit from Suna’s own AkaSabure Kouta may mean they’ve struck deals with the Sand Nation for their help as well. Practically every country hasd reached out to help Oto with their plight.

Now, you may be asking yourself “Ronaldo, how could Syaoran cause weather?” Well, delightful readers, I’ll tell you!

Syaoran’s dual Nuclear Explosions (Ikimasa and Kusa) caused a massive imbalance of heat, energy, and pressure, as well as their chemical, radioactive effects. This sudden change in air pressure may have kickstarted a massive, continent wide climate change. Normally I’d chock this up to unintended consequences, but the ONLY NATION currently affected by this deal is Oto, which makes me think the Kusa nuke may have had the added affect of corralling the climate effect, making Kusa a double prime target for his Nuclear Weapon Testing.

In addition, all the toxins in the water, which Kiri was too distracted to take note of thanks to endless civil wars started by Syaoran himself, poisoned the irrigation system, ensuring all the current crops would die or become inedible, so that citizens of the country would be starved out.

The worst part? I think Oto was just a casualty. It barely qualifies as a major nation, and the real target of this manipulation was Konoha. Konoha has poured more resources into Oto since the drought than nay other major nation, effectively supporting two nations and tightening their coffers. It makes the likelihood that they could support a war and stop Syaoran’s growing empiric rise very very unlikely.

Yukigakure, The First Victim
We first thought surely we must be over-reacting. Several coincidences, spaced out in just a way so that Syaoran could’ve done each and every one of them, all top secret in their respective countries, couldn’t possibly mean he was making a grab at the world!

Then Iwa annexed Yuki.

Under the command of their newly appointed Tsuchikage, Syaoran tested his powers by annexing Yuki and making them a territory of Iwa. His first strike in the war on freedom will be talked of for generations when we soon serve our Iwagakuran overlords. With his intentions finally revealing themselves, Syaoran’s plan took on a more sinister light.

Sunagakure, Susanoops!
Sensing the dangers but unable to trace down their sources like “Keep Beach City Weird,” Suna closed its doors and practice isolationism, keeping foreign influence away from their nation and practically surviving without help. This meant Syaoran couldn’t destabilize the country and was facing a growing threat from a unified Suna. But he couldn’t openly press them in combat, not so soon after Yuki and without the rest of the world behind him.

So instead, he began to entreat for a friendly tournament of foreign nations. It is unclear whose idea it was first, but Suna received pressure from foreign nations to open its doors and show it wasn’t up to nefarious ends (real clever, Syaoran!). So the Arrakis Ninja Arts Tournament marked that opening.

AND THEN DISASTER STRUCK!

Uchiha Nevan attacked several ninja deep in the heart of Sunagakure no Sato, destroying their academy in the process! (You’ll note, the tournament was in Arrakis, a coastal city hundred of miles away!) This move was a glorious stroke, causing Suna to have serious problems training a fighting force that could challenge Syaoran, and distracting them from the goal they had just begun to realize was a true threat.

Because you see, Nevan WAS A CLOSER PERSONAL FRIEND OF SYAORAN! What purpose would he have hundreds of miles from the event? Why would he wantonly destroy buildings and summon his Susanoo? Because Syaoran knew that he couldn’t be directly tied to the attack, so he sent someone Akilah wasn’t expecting to do the deed.

Konohagakure, War! What is it Good For? Syaoran!
This meant, of all the major ninja nations, only Konoha stood as a threat to Syaoran. Suna was still straggling on, but without an academy resistance against him would be slow. Good thing he had just manufactured the perfect excuse for Konoha and Suna to GO TO WAR!

This why we’re writing this. We strongly urge both leaders, Akilah and Yatako, to CEASE HOSTILITIES over the Nevan incident. Whatever your reasons, you have to understand, that should you enter war with each other, the final two monoliths stopping Syaoran from rising to power will crumble into dust. Konoha’s economy can’t support war because its supporting Oto, which means Suna will win in a protracted war, but at great cost. By time the dust settles, Konoha will be rubble and Akilah’s nation will be ripe for the taking.

The Silence After
People often ask us "Well if you have all this evidence, why has nobody come forward?" Well, good readers, today, Syaoran publicly used the jutsu that explains exactly that. During a casual game of Golem of Strength Syaoran used a technique that our chief jutsu-ologists have named "Deathflame". We fully believe that if an organic being were hit by that jutsu, the chakra makeup and the pattern woven by the handseals he perform might actually be capable of, bear with me now:

ERASING YOU FROM EXISTENCE!

This means anyone who Syaoran thought was too close to the truth, he could erase from existence. All memories of them just poof out of their loved ones head like they never even happened! With the ability to teleport all over the world, WHO KNOWS how many people he's erased? Maybe I used to have a brother. Maybe you did.

In Closing
We at “Keep Beach City Weird” urge you all to keep your eyes and ears open. Because when a Nercomancing, Face-Dancing, Teleporting Evil Dictator tries to rise to power, you’d best believe that we’ll be there on the front lines yelling that we broke the story first!

Judging by his pattern, KUMOGAKURE NO SATO will be the next location he tries to destabilize. Is it a coincidence that the Chunnin Exams are there this year? OR that for the first time since the NCIA, there’s a Kage Summit? I think not, and until we see the exact reasons why, we’ll keep digging to bring you readers the up to the minute, bleeding edge reporting you deserve.

Until then:

Keep Beach City Weird! Edited April 24, 2016 by Kouta