fuhgahkra Posted February 5, 2022 Share Posted February 5, 2022 (edited) Avatar Activation: Avatar state is an Advanced System. It costs 5% Total Chakra to Activate, and 5% Total Chakra to Upkeep. Restrictions: Ranks in these skills may only be taken every 20 Levels. Advanced Regeneration is suspended while this Advanced System is active. Avatar state Description: The key and most respected trait within the Abata Clan. The Avatar state is a state beyond the physical and spiritual plains of the world. Blending the two to find unity with both properties to be something beyond. The few that are gifted and allowed to enter this state empowers you with the skills and knowledge of all the past Avatars. But given the power this form gives and knowledge, there is only so much that can be given that is limited by the Avatars abilities, experience, and balance within their mind. During this form's activation, the user body glows in different possible ways, normally a deep shine of eyes and any tattoos or markings, as the combination of all your past lives, focusing their energy through your body. Effect: When purchasing this AS on the first rank, a type is declared. Spirit; Nin/Acc, Mind; Eva/Con, and Body; Tai/Con. This type cannot be changed. The chosen stats are increased by 1.2x per rank in this skill where X is the character’s level and cannot go beyond 1.5x of their base value. Cost: -1 ranks : 5 Requirements: Avatar State bloodline Elementalist Description: The idea of the Abata clan when interacting with gift of ninjustu is not to simply use it as a weapon. One must feel it, be part of it, and wield it. They call this bending. Bending, is the ability to manipulate an element and is significant to many aspects of life in the world. And with practice and natural bond with element(s), the user becomes further and further connected in the art and better able to use them. Effect: The user of this skill selects an element specialty per rank. When the Avatar AS is active, the effect of the chosen element specialty possessed by the character is increased by 1.5x its normal value. The element specialty selected must be one that they own and cannot be stacked repeatedly by this effect. Cost: -1 Rank: 5 Requirements: Avatar State bloodline, Avatar AS Lasting Whispers Description: The thoughts of lessons and the ideology of the clan is always present. Almost as much as the voice of distant ancestors that always find a way to warn their descendants of an attack coming at them a slight second before it comes sometimes. Effect: The owner of this skill’s dodge rolls against ninjustu attacks are increased by 1 per elemental specialty possessed. If the user also possesses the skill [sealless], when they activate the Avatar AS, they also benefit from a +1 bonus to chance to hit per elemental specialty possessed. Cost: -1 Rank: 1 Requirements: Avatar State bloodline Refined Lineage Description: Lessons, Faith, and Technique have been pummeled into the minds and bodies of clan's members in the way of understanding the ninja arts for generations. Starting at the roots when just children to establish the basic and nurturing that understanding and connection through the time clan members choose to learn. Over this course of time, their bodies become strong and better at defending against ninjustu arts attacks. Effect: The user increases their Block Range by 2X against Ninjutsu techniques with an Element. X is equal to the number of Elemental Specialities the user has. Cost: -1 Rank: 1 Requirements: Avatar State bloodline Guardian Spirits Description: The thoughts of lessons and the ideology of the clan is always present. Almost as much as the voice of distant ancestors that always find a way to call out to them mentally. At times acting as a second layer of protection against genjustu attacks. Effect: The user increases the results of their dodge rolls against Genjutsu techniques by 2x, where x is the number of elemental specialties the user has. This skill cannot modify dodge rolls with a result of 5 or less. If the user also possesses the skill [sealless], when they activate the Avatar AS, they also benefit from a +1 chance to crit per elemental speciality possessed. Cost: -1 Rank: 1 Requirements: Avatar State bloodline Wip Effects: The user increases the results of their Dodge Rolls made against Chakra-based attacks by 2 per Elemental Specialty they have unlocked. This has no effects on Dodge Rolls that are 5 or below. Requirements: Avatar State bloodline. Cost: -2. Edited February 9, 2023 by fuhgahkra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sol Pope Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 For flat stat increases like this you're not gonna get away with the upkeep cost, it should be increased to the base upkeep most Advanced Systems use. Avatar state: This will need to state a cap for stat increases. Increasing two stats by 2x is pretty bonkers. Stat increases also can't go above 1.5x of their base. Elementalist: This should probably state that you can't select a specialty you don't own, just to make it extra clear. It also needs to be slightly reworded. "The user of this skill selects an element specialty per rank. When the Avatar AS is active, the effect of the chosen element specialty possessed by the character is increased by 1.5x its normal value." Elemental Bond: This needs reworded. I'm not sure exactly how to word it atm I'm a bit tired but it should clarify subtle elements that match the chosen specialty taken each rank. Lasting Whispers: almondsandRain isn't a description lol. Also, this needs to be reworded some. I'm not sure what you mean by +1 to accuracy rolls. Chance to hit? Since we don't roll for attacks currently that does nothing. For the dodge effect it should say "the results of dodge rolls made by the owner of this skill are increased by 1 per elemental specialty possessed." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sol Pope Posted February 17, 2022 Share Posted February 17, 2022 This is looking better. The final skill is lego-blocking in a way I don't like with your other skill from your clan skills post though (both adding to results of dodge roll via specialties). For ease of approval from me and other staff I would recommend merging the two posts so we can look at the clan skill as a whole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almondsAndRain Posted February 18, 2022 Share Posted February 18, 2022 To build off of Pope's comment, the advanced path skill can stay in the clan skill thread. The others need to be moved here as they operate the way some of the skills in this AS do and feel like an extension of the bloodline. I'm not going to do an in-depth review of the entire thing without all the skills being here, but I am going to say no to Elemental Bond due to similarities with my Spirit Release's primary effect, except... weaker and more expensive and locked behind an AS. You also knew about that skill because we had discussed it before, but neglected to bring up that you wanted to use its effect when you ran a synopsis of the rest of the bloodline by me, so this one specifically is Denied. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuhgahkra Posted February 18, 2022 Author Share Posted February 18, 2022 changes made Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sol Pope Posted February 18, 2022 Share Posted February 18, 2022 Alright we're getting somewhere. My only concern is with Lasting Whispers and Guardian Spirits. I think for simplicity's sake you should merge them into a -2 skill that is a little more homogenized. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almondsAndRain Posted February 5, 2023 Share Posted February 5, 2023 (edited) Okay, it’s been a while. Let’s crack this open! Requirements Remove the Abata clan requirement from all of them. Bloodlines are only not allowed to be transfused for mechanical reasons, and this interferes with that. Have them require either the bloodline itself (“Requirements: Avatar State bloodline.”) or a previous skill granted by the bloodline. Avatar State My suggestion here is to let a character pick Body (Taijutsu), Mind (Genjutsu), or Soul (Ninjutsu), and then their choice of Accuracy, Evasion, or Concentration. Maybe say “fuck it” and let them pick the other non-tanks as well. Later on in the bloodline, you can have abilities that function off of the Body, Mind, and Soul categories. It’s weird that the categories only come up once and never get mentioned again, it makes them a pointless distinction. That would look something like this: Avatar State wordsAndWords. Effects: The user selects Body, Mind, or Soul when they purchase the first rank of this skill, as well as one of Accuracy, Evasion, or Concentration. While Avatar State is activate, the user’s selected stat, as well as Taijutsu if they chose Body, Genjutsu if they chose Mind, or Ninjutsu if they chose Soul, are increased by 1.2X per rank in this skill they own. X is equal to the user’s level. Requirements: Avatar State bloodline. One rank may be purchased per 20 levels. Ranks: 5. Cost: -2 for the first rank, -1 for the others. If you don’t like my suggestion, that is fine, but reword your skill to the following: Avatar State wordsAndWords. Effect: The user selects Body, Mind, or Soul when they purchase the first rank of this skill. While Avatar State is activate, they increase Concentration and Taijutsu if they chose Body, Concentration and Evasion if they chose Mind, or Accuracy and Ninjutsu if they chose Soul by 1.2X per rank in this skill they own. X is equal to the user’s level. Requirements: Avatar State bloodline. One rank may be purchased per 20 levels. Ranks: 5. Cost: -1. Elementalist My man, please change the name. This bloodline heavily incentivizes the user to select Path of the Elementalist. This is going to get confusing. Otherwise, the balance is fine. Please word it as follows: nameGoesHere wordsAndWords. Effects: The user chooses one Elemental Specialty they have unlocked when purchasing a rank in this skill. The same Elemental Specialty may not be selected multiple times. While Avatar State is active, the Elemental Specialties selected through this skill have their effects increased by 50% their base value. This may not stack with similar abilities and does not apply to Jutsu Point reduction effects. Requirements: One rank may be purchased per rank of the Avatar State skill the user owns. Ranks: 5. Cost: -1. Lasting Whispers + Refined Lineage + Guardian Spirits These… are all extremely similar. My suggestion is to combine them into one skill. I don’t think I would approve the others written, I would want them to be rephrased a lot and possibly increased in cost to accommodate their rider effects. But it’s late, I don’t want to do it right now, if you don’t want to use this effect then I will get around to rephrasing them later. nameGoesHere wordsAndWords Effects: The user increases the results of their Dodge Rolls made against Chakra-based attacks by 2 per Elemental Specialty they have unlocked. This has no effects on Dodge Rolls that are 5 or below. Requirements: Avatar State bloodline. Cost: -2. New Skills This bloodline is a bit light, so I’d say you have space for more abilities if you wish. Those chance to hit and critical boosting effects that ride the other skills may be a good place to start here - I would consider attempting something like the above skill, but it instead increases the results of your opponent’s die rolls. EDIT: I just saw that this bloodline's clan has a skill that allows them to go Path of the Elementalist regardless of Base Path, which assuages my concerns below some. Stuck it in a spoiler, but I no longer care too much about how this part shakes out. Spoiler Additionally… the only way to get full power out of this bloodline is to go Path of the Wise or Path of the Elementalist, and then purchasing Master of the Elements. That heavily restricts this bloodline’s potential build paths, which I don’t think is a great direction for a clan-based bloodline that offers a variety of stat bonuses. The majority will pick Soul for the Ninjutsu boost and then go on their way, because that is what will fit here easiest, and everyone is gonna end up very similar. My suggestion is to add the following skill, but add it above the AS so it isn’t a part of it. This will allow you to nab the elements regardless of your paths, as well as a handful of other nifty abilities, and gives you a decent bonus for following the expected route. Please rename the options, I gave them placeholders. nameGoesHere wordsAndWords. Effects: The user gains one of the following abilities per rank, if they meet the condition: noShaman: If the user does not have Path of the Shaman, they are considered to have Path of the Shaman for the purposes of meeting the requirements to purchase abilities other than Advanced Paths. noElementalist: If the user does not have Path of the Elementalist, they are considered to have Path of the Shaman for the purposes of meeting the requirements. yesShaman: If the user has Path of the Shaman, while Avatar State is active, they may replace the Element of a technique they perform with an Element whose Elemental Specialty the user owns. yesElementalist: If the user has Path of the Elementalist, while Avatar State is active, any Basic Element techniques of an Element whose Elemental Specialty the user owns are considered seal-less. Requirements: Avatar State bloodline. The second rank requires the user have purchased an Advanced Path. Ranks: 2. Cost: -2. Edited February 5, 2023 by almondsAndRain 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
