Azazel Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 (edited) Please delete this topic. I'm tired of waiting and i'm going to Konoha to be NCIA. Sorry for the trouble. Edited August 26, 2007 by Azazel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kidori Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 (edited) Some things to fix: 1) Your stats whould equal 500, not 540. So, you will need to fix that. 2) Skills refer to actual skills that we have posted on the site. If you wanted to make a hinderance skill based on your character's damaged eye, you may do so at the Skill Creation Forum. However, I believe someone has already made a skill to compensate for blindness, so you may need to search the already approved skills for one. Keep in mind that you start off with 2 skill points, meaning you can take a positive skill that costs up to 2 skill points. If you do end up taking a hinderance skill, then you will have more skill points to spend, so be sure to look through all of the skill choices to find ones most suitable for your character. Be sure to check out the main site: http://ninja-academy-online.com for more skills and techniques. 3) I'm not sure why, but all of the techniques originally in the character application sheet are automatically attained (Henge no Jutsu, Bunshin no Jutsu, and Kawari no Jutsu). So replace the two you erased. Also, you have 4 Jutsu Points to spend on techniques. So browse through the the various wind/sand techniques (because you are going to Sunagakure no Sato, you will only be able to use wind/sand jutsus unless you take the skill known as Subtle Elements which will allow you to use other elements). 4) Be sure to erase any description tags from the original application sheet that aren't needed (or basically anything in parenthesis). Edited July 17, 2007 by Kidori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazel Posted July 18, 2007 Author Share Posted July 18, 2007 Thanks for that. ive fixed everything ou specified. Anything more? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kidori Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 You spent to many skill points. You start out with 2 to spend, and then you get more for hinderance skills. Also, you should seperate the positive skills (the ones that cost skill points) and the hinderance skills (the ones that add skill points). That technique of yours should go under the "Other Jutsus" tag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shizuki Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 Sig too long, Azazal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazel Posted July 19, 2007 Author Share Posted July 19, 2007 kidori- fixed as far as i can tell. shizuki- changed and its azazel not azazal lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kidori Posted July 19, 2007 Share Posted July 19, 2007 (edited) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Techniques~ Counter Type: Softsand Gathering Type: Ninjutsu [Trap] Rank: Genin Cost: 50 Damage: N/A Conditions: Enemy Must attack with a Non-Ninjutsu or Genjutsu. User must sucessfully roll/jump in the way of an attack aimed at an ally. Effect: Must be used when you jump in front of an attack, regardless of whether the rules specify defensive jutsu. After taking the hit of the selected jutsu, even if the user's HP becomes zero, for 1 turn, the status of "Vulnerable" will be inflicted upon the enemy who attacks. Description: The body of the Sand warriors, being comprised entirely of sand, makes for an excellent cushion from attack, if manipulated correctly. The body of the sand beings will bend, opening a hole, where the attack will come in. Then hole will shut abruptly, catching the attack within its bounds, and, since it is often attached to the attacker, the victim will be caught in the sandy confines of the Sand Being, holding them fast for other attackers to leap upon the enemy. The sand will become solid, by use of chakra flowing in the being, and so, even if the summon's time on this plane ends, the body will not break for a little while longers, until the chakra completely fades. Cost: 3 Remaining Juts Points: Basic Academy Jutsus: (You start off with these) Bunshin no Jutsu (Clone Technique) Type: Genjutsu Rank: Academy Student Cost: 10 Genjutsu Description: Creates illusionary replicas of the user. They are unable to attack or interact with other objects, but can serve as good distractions. Damage: None Effects: Adds +5 evasion and +5 accuracy for each clone. Once a clone is hit it is destroyed, and the bonuses with it. Name: Henge no Jutsu (Transformation Technique) Type: Genjutsu Rank: Academy Student Cost: 5 Genjutsu Description: Wrap chakra around your body to change your appearance. You can still use the features of the thing you can become, e.g use the claws of a clawed animal, but not to the extent of if you actually were that thing. Damage: None Effects: Change your appearance. Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu (Body Substitute Technique) Type: Ninjutsu Rank: Academy Student Cost: 10 Ninjutsu Description: A lifesaver, and a must-have technique. With this technique, the user is able to swap their body with a nearby object, usually a log, which will take the full force of any incoming blows for them, while they retreat to safe ground or search for an opening. You can only use this 3 times per battle. Damage: None Effects: Evade the next attack aimed at you. You are unable to attack the opponent the turn you use this. You can only use this 3 times per battle. This technique cannot be used to dodge Ninjutsu, Taijutsu or Genjutsu Techniques. Other Jutsus: (You start with 4 jutsu points (JP) to spend on jutsu. See the Technique Page for all the pre made ones, or create your own and set them up for approval) Jutsus learned from Jounins: (These do not count towards your Jutsu limit. You must link to the topic in which you learned these) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This should be changed to this: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Techniques~ Remaining Juts Points: 1 Basic Academy Jutsus: (You start off with these) Bunshin no Jutsu (Clone Technique) Type: Genjutsu Rank: Academy Student Cost: 10 Genjutsu Description: Creates illusionary replicas of the user. They are unable to attack or interact with other objects, but can serve as good distractions. Damage: None Effects: Adds +5 evasion and +5 accuracy for each clone. Once a clone is hit it is destroyed, and the bonuses with it. Name: Henge no Jutsu (Transformation Technique) Type: Genjutsu Rank: Academy Student Cost: 5 Genjutsu Description: Wrap chakra around your body to change your appearance. You can still use the features of the thing you can become, e.g use the claws of a clawed animal, but not to the extent of if you actually were that thing. Damage: None Effects: Change your appearance. Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu (Body Substitute Technique) Type: Ninjutsu Rank: Academy Student Cost: 10 Ninjutsu Description: A lifesaver, and a must-have technique. With this technique, the user is able to swap their body with a nearby object, usually a log, which will take the full force of any incoming blows for them, while they retreat to safe ground or search for an opening. You can only use this 3 times per battle. Damage: None Effects: Evade the next attack aimed at you. You are unable to attack the opponent the turn you use this. You can only use this 3 times per battle. This technique cannot be used to dodge Ninjutsu, Taijutsu or Genjutsu Techniques. Other Jutsus: Counter Type: Softsand Gathering Type: Ninjutsu [Trap] Rank: Genin Cost: 50 Damage: N/A Conditions: Enemy Must attack with a Non-Ninjutsu or Genjutsu. User must sucessfully roll/jump in the way of an attack aimed at an ally. Effect: Must be used when you jump in front of an attack, regardless of whether the rules specify defensive jutsu. After taking the hit of the selected jutsu, even if the user's HP becomes zero, for 1 turn, the status of "Vulnerable" will be inflicted upon the enemy who attacks. Description: The body of the Sand warriors, being comprised entirely of sand, makes for an excellent cushion from attack, if manipulated correctly. The body of the sand beings will bend, opening a hole, where the attack will come in. Then hole will shut abruptly, catching the attack within its bounds, and, since it is often attached to the attacker, the victim will be caught in the sandy confines of the Sand Being, holding them fast for other attackers to leap upon the enemy. The sand will become solid, by use of chakra flowing in the being, and so, even if the summon's time on this plane ends, the body will not break for a little while longers, until the chakra completely fades. Cost: 3 Jutsus learned from Jounins: None ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Edited July 19, 2007 by Kidori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazel Posted July 20, 2007 Author Share Posted July 20, 2007 everythings been fixed that youve specified. anything else at all? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kidori Posted July 20, 2007 Share Posted July 20, 2007 Add a "0" for your Level and your TXP. You also might want to get rid of some of the extra spaces between lines that are unneeded. Oh, and all of the explanitory statements in the (parenthesis), you should erase save for those translating jutsus and stuff. Other then that, looks good to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azure Posted July 20, 2007 Share Posted July 20, 2007 Your Ninjutsu will have to be 50 to have that technique. You have to have the same amount of cost in the corresponding stat to take it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazel Posted July 21, 2007 Author Share Posted July 21, 2007 bump. everythings changed, including my stats. so anything left? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazel Posted July 22, 2007 Author Share Posted July 22, 2007 bump. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shizuki Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 Sound actually requires Subtle Elementals: Wind, Subtle Elementals: Lightning, and Rank 1 of Twisted Colors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazel Posted July 24, 2007 Author Share Posted July 24, 2007 changed sound to fire (im working on a jutsu in my head that needs fire) is there anything else that needs fixing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazel Posted July 24, 2007 Author Share Posted July 24, 2007 (edited) Bump, changed up jutsus a bit. Edited July 25, 2007 by Azazel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassiel Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 ok, i think that after everythin they've told you to fix, it looks good. Just be a little more patient Mr. Double post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazel Posted August 6, 2007 Author Share Posted August 6, 2007 Grrrr..... I only did it twice, but thanks Kas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hooligan Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 Flight of Sleipnir Type: Personal Skill Description: Speed is the definition by which this person lives, seeking to attain a level so quick, that others have difficulty tracking them with the naked eye. Through muscular advancement as well as natural knowledge in terms of kinesthetics, it is possible to advance the very rate of speed that the body moves at, so long as this person is of natural kinesthetic in the first place. It is naturally difficult to target a moving person, but when this person moves at rates far exceeding those of that opponent, it becomes a much more infinitismal rate of success in doing so Effect: When character has x2 Speed of enemy, that enemy will have a 40% Base chance of striking the character. When character has x3 Speed of an enemy, that enemy will have a 20% Base chance of striking the character. (Note: Does not apply to Genjutsu; the base chance drops, before modifiers) Cost: -3 Please tell me you got permission from RN for this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazel Posted August 6, 2007 Author Share Posted August 6, 2007 not yet, but working on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azure Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 Ichi is in control of all of RN's stuff as of now. Ask him when he comes back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazel Posted August 6, 2007 Author Share Posted August 6, 2007 wonderfull, tell me AFTER i already asked ravage. Thanks lol j/k thanks Azure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazel Posted August 14, 2007 Author Share Posted August 14, 2007 (edited) Okay, i have removed the flight of selpinir and replaced it with another skill. (also taijutsu) While i'm here, is Sunagakure still locked? This is definatley a Bump Edited August 14, 2007 by Azazel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cellar Door Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 Suna's still locked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
