lightning Eldingartsurugi

[Niasitari]

Name: Raiton; Eldingartsurugi

Type: Ninjutsu [Lightning]

Rank: Genin

Cost: 60 Chakra

Damage: 60

Description: User creates a katana made of lightning. The sword is emerald or scarlet depending on the users choice.

Points: 3

Edited June 10, 2019 by Niasitari
Didn't understand mechanics so v2

[cntrstrk14]

Hey! So a lot going on here that I am unsure of, though it's obvious you're bringing in some inspiration from other games which is cool. In no particular order my questions/comments are...

 

• What do you mean by 'resist 30 amount of Earth damage' ?

• What do you mean by 'sustained Chakra' ?

• You have a Special ability, but it sounds a lot like 'Evolving' which is a mechanic a technique can have in which a higher ninja rank technique can replace a lower one and pay the difference, thus increasing the damage / effects. For an example of that check out this jutsu that uses it: Link

• We normally use the translation "Lightning Release" instead of "Lightning Type", though there is no rule that requires this. And since you are using what appears to be a romanji name after it I would suggest just using the japanese term for Lightning Release, "Raiton". So "Raiton; Eldingartsurugi". 

• You also likely want this to be Lightning element based on the description, which means your type should be "Type: Ninjutsu [ Lightning ]", which denotes that it will get the effects of Lightning and will require the skill "Subtle Elements; Lightning" to use, which can be found here. If you start in the Country of Lightning you can start with this skill for free!

[Niasitari]

For the Earth thing I was trying to say the sword absorbs a certain amount of Earth release jutsu damage and then breaks, having the user take the overflow. It was based around the clan primarily using these jutsu to help protect the kage. I was thinking sustained as in as long as the jutsu is active that chakra can't be replenished. I think an upkeep chakra cost makes more sense though. I think as far as the evolve mechanic goes I was trying to avoid writing out more jutsu before I understood high level mechanics.   

[Niasitari]

How is that?

[Princess]

First note: You don't need to post twice mate, people will get to it, some things just take a bit of time, we'll get you into this, and if you're feeling the need for communication, that's what the discord is for.

So, let's take your technique and I will break down every bit you've got, and we will get this over the line.
 

Quote

 

Name: Raiton; Eldingartsurugi 

Yeah the naming is all good, tick.
Type: Ninjutsu [Lightning]

Yup this too, we know it's a ninjutsu technique, and it has the element 'lightning', that's where this info goes. 

Rank: Genin
The most easy part. It is a gennin technique.

Cost: 80 Chakra, 20 Upkeep

We don't really approve Upkeep as a mechanic anymore. It's outdated and a legacy of older things that is going to die sooner or later. If you want this technique to last over multiple turns, typically you pay for it each turn if its doing a new tech, but we will address this in a bit.

Damage: 80 lightning

So, looking at the jutsu rules, you saw 80 as the max cost and want 80 damage. Unfortunately, only Taijutsu (hand to hand combat) can reach 80 damage at Gennin rank. Your cap is 60 damage with ninjutsu, so this will need to be reduced to 60. This link will take you to where the jutsu rules are to see this yourself. Also, the damage is already lightning because your technique is Ninjutsu [Lightning], stating lightning again here is unneeded. It's just 80 (well, 60) damage.

Effects: N/A 

We have also moved away from N/A. You can just delete the effect line if it has no effect.

Description: User creates a katana made of lightning which remains until released. The sword is emerald or scarlet lightning depending on the users choice.
The description is fine, but based off how you wrote it, it seems you want to create a weapon that can be swung for 80 damage every turn for 20 chakra a turn after the first. This is a big part of why upkeeps are dead ground, This would probably work better as a one off technique, where you manifest the katana and strike with it, then it vanishes. Creating weapons out of chakra is a...whole other bag of fish mate, let's maybe start at the beginning.

Seals: Dog, Dragon, Snake, Dragon, Dog, Dragon, Snake
No one is going to say don't put the seals in, but they're not mandatory. It's all up to you mate. Remember that jounin level techniques in the show were rocking strings of handseals in excess of 40-50 seals, so if you want to go down this path you do you.

Special: Evolve
Not quite how evolve works, and 'special' isn't really a part of technique creation. So Cntrstrk linked you to an example of evolve just before, but I'll explain it here to be doubly sure we get it down. As you know, this technique is gennin rank, you chose it after all. An evolving technique is where you create a second largely the same technique, but scale it up to chuunin rank. By getting rid of the gennin ranked version, you get a discount on the chuunin ranked version. In this way, your old techniques stay relevant as you rank up, and it saves you on expending too many jutsu points on a wide range of techniques you'll never use.

So you never list evolving on the lowest level of the technique, you save it for the next one. So if you made a chuunin version, and let's say it costs 6 points. Because the gennin rank costs 4, you can add this tag at the end next to its points cost of 6.  [Evolving 2; Raiton; Eldingartsurugi]. So the maths there is easy, 6-4=2, you've already paud 4 for the gennin rank, so you only need to pay 2 to upgrade it, instead of paying 6 to get it and keep your now irrelevant gennin rank version.

Points: 4
Yeah I mean if it costs 80 chakra it's 4 points, that's nice and easy. If you drop the cost to 60 because of the damage cap as I requested above, you're sitting on 3JP instead. The link I used before explains the caps and the points, it's super useful.

So yeah, I think we can do this, we're super close.

Edited June 10, 2019 by Princess

[Niasitari]

Awesome thank you!! 

[Princess]

I still advise you go read up on the rules, make sure you fully understand why I requested the changes I did, but yeah this is a perfectly fine mainsite basic technique. Approved.

[Niasitari]

I will. Thank you for the assistance!

[Cloudnine]

Approved