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Approved

Approved

Wolf's point still stands in that this is very unclear in what it means. If two Moderators misunderstand what you are writing, it's time to rewrite. Effect: May use Alcohol element techniques. An opponent struck by an Alcohol technique gains one (1) stack of Alcohol Dousing for two (2) turns. For each stack of Alcohol Dousing that a character has, that character takes an additional 5% damage from the status effect 'Burning' per stack. A character may not have more than two (2) stacks of Alcohol Dousing at any one time. In addition, the user may choose to apply the bonus from one of the Subtle Elements skills required to learn this element if they own it. Named the effect, which allows it to more easily be tracked and also has the upside of allowing you to reference it in other skills and abilities if you build a character all around this element.

No its fine, the +5 was just a massive downgrade from your last bonus for having the bloodline active so I wanted to make sure that was your intention. Approved

Ectoplasmic Mastery Okay, so this now as a Setup Phase action deals 150 Ghost Damage to yourself to increase block range by 20-25 for 1-3 turns. This seems fine? Otherwise this is fine.

Okay, we're in the final stretch here. Got some clean up! Kagemane • Remove the "Damage: N/A". We've been updating the main site to just omit this tag when there is no damage. • Instead of "[Hijutsu; Nara] jutsu the user knows have the [Sealless] tag while this jutsu is active." I would instead say "[Hijutsu; Nara] jutsu are Seal-less and do not require the use of the hands while this jutsu is active." This mimics the Seal-less skill wording rather than relying on the tag and players needing to go look that up if they are unfamiliar. • I would like to do a minor tweak to the breakout roll. The values stay the same but I would like to make it "(1d100 - E + S)". This is functionally the same, however if an opponent messes up the math and does not know what E or S is it will be a lot easier to fix and won't require them to roll a brand new dice. For instance, they could mess up the math and roll 1d77 instead of 1d67. If they rolled a 76 on the first one and then rolled a 3 on the second one when they were forced to re-roll it would be a pretty bad experience. • Other than these, I think this is ready for approval. Kage Kubishibari no Jutsu • I made a new chart in the google sheet, here it is: [Tools] Kage Kubishibari Math • I THINK that the values for the damage are okay. They pay you off for the hurdles you need to jump through to make this technique land which is really cool, and if you managed to get 3-4 turns of this you're really "doing it" which is cool, but its also not a guaranteed thing. • The chaining of Choking I think is fine, there is a strategy there and I think it's fine given that this is skill locked. The opponent has a lot of ability to counteract that, especially if they are free of Kagemane. They just need to break the chain. • At its worse, the damage gets to be 435 Chakra for 600-1680 damage, depending on the number of turns you get them. I think this is fine as it starts out actually a bit lower than a raw damage technique but then scales well. This fits within the cost reduction stuff for skill locked jutsu. It's dangerous, but a lot of stuff has to go right for the worst case scenarios. • I am not super on board with the E value math. I think that increasing the E value is a nice add to this, but the numbers get too high. The problem is that the Breakout Roll and math is level agnostic, meaning that at level 30 and level 120 you will be playing with similar values since it is all based off dodge rolls with is a 1-100 range at all levels. This adding to the E based on your level adds a rather unstable effect in. If you look at the chart you can see that at the high end you are starting to add 30+ to the E value per turn. That is very much above the average that will be added to the S value per turn from your opponent, meaning that with this jutsu active you will almost always be making the Breakout Roll more difficult per turn, which is against the design. I would propose that you instead make this a static value per turn not based on the user's level (can increase with jutsu ranks), or reduce the bonus to be much smaller like 1/8x. Even +10 or +15 is a lot to add each turn.

Problem: Various typos, misspellings, and wording updates. +75 EXP and 両30 to Umikoi Warrusu

Two new moderators have joined the battle! Princess & Yurane have promoted They have more than earned their promotions with Princess leading Otogakure and Yurane crushing the creation thread. Welcome them in their new responsibilities!

You can reduce the activation cost and upkeep to 5% each. You can also do -2, -2, -1, -1. Also for the travel abilities do this... RP Effect: When traveling, if the total words required is equal to or less than half the user's Chakra, the user may reduce the travel post by 50%. In additional, the pet may role play flight.

Hello NA!:. The real hero of the Fourth Ninja War has come to teach a few classes on how to get things done. Some might say he's as hard as rocks, others might say he is kind of fly. Whatever your opinion though, check out the Third Tsuchikage, Onoki! Any donation of $3+ will get you access to this exclusive banner! Only donations made during the month of June can get this banner though! Donate and support Ninja Academy now before its too late!

Reijitsugen This looks good now. I think a non Genjutsu user would actually be fine with this. If you don't take Soul Sight and Spectral Parasitism it's just a pretty solid defensive bloodline, and I would consider those two the weakest abilities so you aren't losing much and you save SP. So I wouldn't discount someone doing a non-Genjutsu player with this. Soul Sight Cool, in that case this can be -1 SP per rank. Ethereal Perception Okay, well first off the cap of 40 includes the 5 you have naturally. It is not 45, its 40. It is not a cap of "bonuses" but a cap of the Block Range overall. Anyways, I would rework this to clean it up. I'll take a crack at it... Increase the user's Block Range by 2x, where x is equal to their rank in this skill. In addition, whenever the user successfully Blocks a physical attack due to a Dodge Roll, the user increases their Chance to Hit on their next attack this turn by y%, where y is the difference between the Chance to Hit and the user's Dodge Roll. This bonus is halved for Concentration based attacks and the value may not exceed 8x. You can remove the red part if you want. Ghost Damage can't be blocked anyways, and if you have an ability that allows you to block Ghost Damage I don't see why this shouldn't synergize with it. Also, the section in blue I think you will have words about, but if you are balancing this for Concentration is twice as good as it appears. A +40% Chance to Hit with Concentration based attacks would be +800 Concentration equivalent which is massive. Obviously you don't have control over the bonus or when it happens, but it would still be a rather massive boost even at +400 when it lives outside of advanced systems. You could play with the cap to address this as well, but this overall needs some nobs turned. Spiritual Impermanence Leave not given. Reijitsugen I think I would change this to not drop the cost and keep it at 5% and 5%. I would be open to maybe reviewing this after you get it approved and play with it for awhile, but I get the feeling that this will still be very good at 5% and 5%. So I would just change this to a gate skill. Ectoplasmic Mastery I don't see any edits here, but I am fine with removing the "once per battle" and instead making it "once per three turns" or something like "Cannot be used again for three turns". Specifically just trying to avoid the chance that you can activate this twice and get double the bonus (though this wouldn't help you at max rank since you're already pushing the cap, but it could be viable strategy at lower ranks). Bonded Ectoplasm Oh, that's actually a good point, though it still is basically the same use case, just less likely to come up than the basically guaranteed Second Wind scenario. Okay, this is fine then.

I am back! And hopefully not going to have another 6 months pass between posts. Let's try and get this wrapped up. Kagemane • When I get around to writing "information to be shared at the start of the battle" ninja rank will be here. If it is changed by any other skills or w/e it would need to be noted at this sharing of this information. • I think you can drop the wording of "original ninja rank". Specifically because Death Bonuses have cleaned up their wording in this regard to only apply to specific things, none of which have to do with being hit with jutsu. Other abilities that mess with rank should follow this format and I don't think that Kagemane needs to dance around this as I cannot think of a single current skill that would mess with this. • I think it was lost at some point, but this jutsu does need a Ninja Rank. Specifically, I believe the intention is for it always to be equal to the user's ninja rank? But this needs to be stated somewhere because there are effects that care about that. Kage Kubishibari • I mostly agree with Peregine's points of it being too much. Assuming level 20 for a Genin this would be doing 40 damage + an extra 60 damage each turn from Choking (on top of normal Choking effects). The following google doc breaks down the total damage this is doing, not including the normal choking damage or the bonus to the E value. [Tools] Kage Kubishibari Math. Assuming it only lasts 1 turn, you still end up breaking the damage caps by a considerable amount even on the first turn. Genin is dealing 150 total at level 30 (CE range) with another 90 damage each turn it continues to hold. Let me know if I got the math incorrect.

Reijitsugen Ritual Do you specificially have to be the one to knock them out? What if you are not a Genjutsu user? Soul Sight The first line in this effect is not really a part of this skill, its description. Aside that, this seems fine but also pretty bad for -2 SP. It just says "This technique may critically hit". I assume you would use this with some kind of Stratgist like effect? Ethereal Perception The increased block range is fine, capping at 10 for -6 SP. The bonus to hit is a bit odd. You give it a cap of 10x, with x being the ranks, but that ends up being 50, which is above the maximum block range. This would only come up with abilities that block a jutsu without a roll, but you don't cover what happens when you block something without a roll. I would probably suggest just changing that cap and instead saying it can only come from blocks that happen from the result of a Dodge Roll or something, which would be a maximum of 40. Then maybe make it 8x cap, so that it goes up to 40 instead of 50? The capping at 50, as a user, makes me believe I am missing something because it doesn't make sense. Reiniku This upkeep seems fine. I like the ghost health upkeep, it keeps the defensive abilities from being too strong. Spiritual Impermanence This looks good. I think we went over this in the past. The taking the ghost damage as physical damage closes the loop on my concerns here. Spectral Parasitism This looks bad at first, but the fact that Ghost Damage does not do a lot of damage per hit compared to physical damage this is probably fine. If you are healing 1 health per 5 health dealt on top of taking 2.5% ghost health per turn it's not going to get you too far ahead. If you deal 1500 damage to someone you healed for only 300 health. That adds up but you're also taking damage from this ability at the same time so it seems fine. Reijitsugen So all this does is just half the upkeep costs? And allows you to take additional ranks right? If so seems good. It is a pretty big power jump though compared to the first version. In general, lowering cost while increasing power makes weird power spikes that end up making one end too bad or too good. Ectoplasmic Mastery You don't mention at all when you do this, and it really matters. What phase are you doing this? Also, with the Reijitsugen you take 200 Ghost Health to increase your block range by +25 until the advanced system ends? I think that's probably too good. Maybe instead have it last like 3 turns instead of 1 turn? If you lower the duration like that you can also probably change the amount of health you take to trigger this. Maybe just have it a flat cost and have it get better with the rank instead. There are instances where a player might not take rank 2 here because it's not strictly better. Bonded Ectoplasm This is a... weird hindering. Will this ever come up realistically? Can you describe a scenario where this is relevant?

Worked with Bob to do some wording clean up. No functional change since Princess' approval. Approved

Going through this line by line to point out issues that still exist that deal with the reason it was pulled back. Gaining Charges • Whenever a Hoho style Taijutsu technique successfully strikes it's target. • Whenever the user successfully dodges an attack in the Response Phase. Spending Charges • Increase the chance to critically strike with a Hoho style Taijutsu technique by 4x% as well as 0.5x turns of haste. • Next Hoho style Taijutsu technique a weapon jutsu. The problem is when you can connect a string of the red highlighted abilities together, because they do not require the use of Taijutsu. With the written abilities you have right now I could take this style on Syaoran, have zero Taijutsu of the Hoho style, and passively accumulate charges every time I dodge and cash them in for turns of Haste. All without ever having, owning, or using Taijutsu of your style. For a Taijutsu style to be approved you need to break the ability for someone to use the style with a "string of red" as I demonstrated above. Functionally this means that ALL of your "Gaining Charges" abilities or ALL of your "Spending Charges" abilities must require Hoho Taijutsu in some way. Luckily the fix is pretty easy here because you are very close. I only took time to explain the above to make sure the point got across on why this was pulled back. If you change your first ability to only give Haste if you successfully use a Hoho Taijutsu that turn then this would fit the requirement of needing Taijutsu to use it because all of the "outputs" for your charges are tied to using Hoho Taijutsu techniques.

This needs to be a medium or large weapon. Small weapons have completely different rules.

Before we jump in, let me explain the grading categories! • Design — How workable of an idea is this for equipment? How clean is the design. How elegant? This is where points are docked for broken mechanics. I did not grade strictly on the wording submitted, but on what I think a final product would look like with staff adjustments and balancing. • Flavor — Is there a clear flavor here that evokes what being a ninja is all about? Does it reinforce the life of a ninja and the naruto-verse? How excited do I get to try this out in role play? Do the mechanics back up the concept of this to make a cohesive package? • Originality — How fresh is this idea? Does it stand out from the crowd? This looks at both the design and the flavor as a package and grades an idea on how much it stands out from the crowd. Is it memorable? Anti-Bruise • User: Toroi21 • Design: 3 • Flavor: 3 • Originality: 0 • Total: 6 This is a pretty solid ability on its own, but I don't know if we would want to allow it. Giving immunity to status effects is a pretty big deal and setting the precedent here would probably be a bad move. Design would be a 4, but got docked one point since its so close to Anti-Bleed / Anti-Burn / Insulation. Flavor is okay, but there is nothing that really sets this apart from other armor stuff as it just says "is made of harder stuff". This type of flavor could be almost anything in terms of effects. Originality points gets docked as it is nearly a copy paste of Anti-Bleed / Anti-Burn / Insulation which all reduce the effectiveness of their effects. I think potentially a single rank of this could be approved. Weightless Armor • User: Toroi21 • Design: 2 • Flavor: 1 • Originality: 3 • Total: 6 I like where you are thinking here, but this seems like a "must take" type of armor which is why it got knocked points on design. The structure of the effect is good, but the type of play it would encourage is not. Self-buff status effects are already very limited, and allowing armor to increase their effectiveness is pretty dangerous. That said, if we were to do this we would likely want it on the main site so everyone could take it. Flavor is rather poor since no matter how weightless it is, it shouldn't make you faster. Possibly just not slow you down? Originality is pretty good on this one, you identified a good space to work in which is what originality is about. Jutted Armor • User: Toroi21 • Design: 1 • Flavor: 4 • Originality: 1 • Total: 6 Design is knocked here as there are just some lack of clarity. What is an unarmed Taijutsu attack? Anything without a weapon? And 10% of what? That said, this is an effect as old as NA. I think if we did something like this I would want it to be a one off "rebound" type of effect that explodes on impact and then in "consumed" for that battle. A passive effect like this can be very punishing. The design space of "you take damage when you successfully hit me" ends up for making pretty poor play experiences. Situations where if they hit the opponent they will KO themselves, etc. The flavor is good. The armor is spikey, so it hurts to punch it, straight forward and solid. Unfortunately, as I said before, we've seen this type of effect in techniques, skills, items, even clones that explode and do this. I'm not wowed by this idea, though it is a relatively solid one if the details are smoothed out. Break-Resistance • User: Toroi21 • Design: 4 • Flavor: 2 • Originality: 4 • Total: 10 I like this concept a lot. When I first read the name I was like "oh no, not this", but you surprised me. Just allowing the armor to last x more turns is a nice little space of design. I would maybe only have one rank of this, once you have 2-3 more turns of an item after it should be broken it feels really bad and effectively makes it immune to destroy in many battles. That said, even if I think there are too many ranks, the general idea is solid, nice. The flavor is a bit lacking, there are a few cool ideas we could flesh out here but they are not in the name or description. "Chakra Bindings" or something like that to explain why this holds on like a shonen jump hero after certain death. Again, originality is good. I groaned when I read the name and thought you were going for full immunity, but this surprised me. Nice! Tinted Visor • User: Toroi21 • Design: 2 • Flavor: 5 • Originality: 2 • Total: 9 Reducing by turns has always been a bit problematic. The design of ranks to go up to 4 is pretty nuts too. I like the idea of head gear that helps you against blind / impaired eyesight, but I am not sure I would have gone the route of turn reduction. The flavor is spot on though, 5 points! Can't imagine what else eye protection SHOULD do. Originality is middle of the road, we've seen a lot of turn reduction type mechanics in the past and "make a status effect less good" is not very inspired. Smoke Screen • User: Toroi21 • Design: 3 • Flavor: 3 • Originality: 4 • Total: 10 This is pretty cool. Taking a specific consumable and allowing it to be a free action (instead of a main phase action) is a nice bit of design space. I would probably want to adjust this somewhat to restrict the timing to prevent confusion. For instance, doing this in your Response Phase wouldn't actually help you dodge, but many people might think it should. Because of this I would probably make it a free Setup Phase action. The flavor is cool, you have compartments that are made to easily release this consumable. And lastly, originality is good. Using armor attributes to adjust the action economy for specific consumables is an area of design that I could seeing having a lot of potential depth. Flashbang • User: Toroi21 • Design: 3 • Flavor: 3 • Originality: 4 • Total: 10 Not going to say a whole lot here, basically the exact same comments and score as the one above! Projectile Launcher • User: Sol Pope • Design: 2 • Flavor: 4 • Originality: 4 • Total: 10 I really like the flavor of this. Having attachments that allow you to handle more small weapons at a time is a space we haven't seen explored in armor attributes, which also leads into the originality score. That said, the design is a bit clunky for what it does. The connection between small weapon potency and item slots is not very clear and we would probably need to find other definitions for it. I would probably make this be an action you could use rather than modifying the small weapons, that way it cannot stack since you can't use two at once. It also avoids needing to do some oddness with the wording and not stacking. But I think there could be a solution. Malleable Plate • User: Sol Pope • Design: 3 • Flavor: 2 • Originality: 4 • Total: 9 The design on this is very clean, but also explosive in value. I'm not sure if I am a fan of an attribute that encourages a player to put all their eggs in one basket, but there may be something here. Also this is begging to get around the Equipment 10% rule for stats, which would probably need to be addressed since this could, theoretically, boost a person up to 20% total stats if they had all Defense. The flavor was also a bit lacking, I don't get why being malleable makes it more defensive when it grows with you. The originality is great on this though, armor that works with Enlarged probably has some cool design space. Built-in Stabilizer • User: Sol Pope • Design: 2 • Flavor: 4 • Originality: 2 • Total: 8 This is very similar to Toroi's tinted visor ability above, and I have about the same type of things to say about it. The difference is that the Built-in Stabilizer is just below where I would consider outstanding flavor. It feels like there is a cool flavor here but maybe something else with mechanics. Training Weights • User: Sol Pope • Design: 1 • Flavor: 5 • Originality: 3 • Total: 9 Flavor is awesome. Arguably one of the most iconic scenes in early Naruto is when Lee drops his weights in the Chuunin Exams. If anything I might dock points on the name since its so close to an already existing item, but its still a 5. Unfortunately, the design is a bit broken. A free Setup Phase ability to give 3 turns of SUPER Haste is a lot to ask for most any price. And even if it takes some time, the fact that you can don them and do it again is pretty insane. Especially if the action economy you gain from using these "pays" for the donning of them. If you gain two MP actions from this across 3 turns, and it takes one to re-don, then you've ended up +1 main phase action that cycle. Originality... is middle of the road. On the one hand, this is iconic. On the other hand... it's iconic. This is basically ripped right out of the episode. The mechanics are not very original either, but the idea of "removing" and "donning" an item for benefits is interesting and brought this up a few points. Rebreathe • User: Sol Pope • Design: 1 • Flavor: 5 • Originality: 2 • Total: 8 Straight immunities are a hard sell on items and that docks this design a lot. The flavor is A+, I can't imagine what else something like this would do and I feel that there is a lot os space for masks that help the wearer. Originality is luke warm as I think we've seen this idea hashed a few times over the years. In fact, I think Bob currently had an item that was going through approvals that was a mask to help against poisons. Reinforced Material • User: PandaMattMatt • Design: 4 • Flavor: 3 • Originality: 3 • Total: 10 This is a pretty solid little ability. Design gets high marks for how straight forward it is. Very clean and could potentially just be something we add. I would probably do +1's instead of +2's, but small details. The flavor is straight forward, but docked as this comes down to the generic "this armor is harder!" which while simple and flexible, doesn't really inspire a player. Lastly, originality is a bit middle of the road. I gave it slightly above average. It seems like something so obvious, but we obviously haven't done it yet. It's like something I would expect us to have already done. Impact Absorber • User: PandaMattMatt • Design: 4 • Flavor: 4 • Originality: 4 • Total: 12 Modifying how critical hits work is cool space. The two things I like the most about this design are how cleanly it does its "one and done" shot and then removes itself for the rest of the battle so it doesn't cripple crit builds. The second thing is that I... found myself debating if I would want to take this or not, and that is a good sign. Armor Attributes should be able to be imagined as being good, but not so generic that everyone takes them without thought. Flavor is high on this as well, impact absorbers as a name makes me imagine these circular plates all over the armor, its evocative in just the name. Lastly, originality also gets high marks. You found a neat little area to carve out some space for attributes. It's not especially deep, we don't have many other effects we can make, but it opens up a way of thinking of "one and done" abilities. Weatherproof • User: Celes • Design: 2 • Flavor: 5 • Originality: 2 • Total: 9 The flavor on this is on point. I immediately think of large poofy jackets and fur lined hoods, the type that you see when your favorite anime character gets a slight rework on their wardrobe when they go to a cold place (see any anime movie that was set in a cold region). That said, the design here is something I see a lot and that I think hurts it, which is granularity for granularity sake. If we look at the effects, the difference between -10% and -20% effect is pretty ignorable, and the question becomes “should this really have ranks at all”. The climates chosen do all work at each % value though, so points for that. Originality takes a hit as well, since “specific mechanic works less by x% on you because of armor” is basically the bread and butter of armor based abilities. Environmental Resistance • User: Celes • Design: 2 • Flavor: 3 • Originality: 2 • Total: 7 Unlike the previous armor ability, this one falls a bit flat on flavor. Weatherproofing something for harsh conditions evokes an image like I stated above, but this feels a lot more like a handwave of “ninja magic”. It really felt like you had a good idea with Weatherproof and then felt compelled to finish the cycle because it looked like it would be more fair. Because of the weaker flavor the chosen terrains feel more arbitrary than those chosen on the sister ability weatherproof. Unforunately, it also suffers from the same design and originality problems outlined above. Chakra Rebound • User: Celes • Design: 1 • Flavor: 4 • Originality: 3 • Total: 8 So your score for design here is a mixed bag, but leans towards the lower end. You did a good job of using existing templates to get your ability to work, but on a fundamental level reflecting damage is a very dangerous area of design and one we tend to not allow. Passively reflecting damage is even worse, creating scenarios in which an opponent may not be able to do any action without losing. On top of all that, this also steps on the toes of existing main site Chakra Shield abilities. The flavor is good though, we've all seen reflective attacks in shows and anime and I can imagine these little devices hidden in armor. Originality also gets some good marks, as the idea of reflection on armor where it takes advantage of the damage caps set forward by Chakra Shield and the counterplay of being able to break it makes an interesting area. Elemental Rebound • User: Celes • Design: 1 • Flavor: 2 • Originality: 3 • Total: 6 This is nearly the same as the Chakra Rebound, but has all the issues of “completing a cycle” that comes up when abilities like this happened. The flavor suffers to jump through hoops to explain why it reflects a specific type, and the originality takes a hit, but not enough to bring it down from Chakra Rebound. Repulsors • User: Kouta • Design: 4 • Flavor: 2 • Originality: 5 • Total: 11 The design on this is clean and it is very original. You've found a way to better defenses in a way that feels fresh. You also targeting very specific attack types that normally give bonuses to hit, essentially flipping them on their head. The flavor is a bit weak, since I don't understand why the flavor doesn't apply to all attacks. That said, I think these are too powerful and would need to be brought down in some way. Especially when considering Set Traps, the bonus gained from these involve multiple turns of planning and if you have this on a piece of armor that is hidden and it surprises someone after 3-4 turns of setup it would be a rather egregious feel bad moment. Especially if they triggered more than one trap in that turn. That said, since it just removes the accuracy bonus it may not be so bad, so it retains its high marks. This is a surprising example of something that gets high marks but might not be good for general use / main site. Energy Reservoir • User: Kouta • Design: 2 • Flavor: 4 • Originality: 3 • Total: 9 The design here is okay, a little clunky but it works. The flavor is on point, but what really gets me is that this just steps all over the toes of our pill consumables. I haven't done the math, but since you pay money up front and words to fill this up there is an equation that can tell us whether its better to buy pills or to buy this attribute, and which is more cost effective in the long run. This item is even stronger in some regard since you can “draw” chakra from it as a free action. It can be destroyed, but that means your opponent is spending a large amount of chakra to TRY and “attack” your chakra, which is a pretty good trade off for you too. I don't think I would approve this since it feels too much like buying Chakra as a stat. Maybe if it obeyed the equipment 10% rule? Resistance Seal • User: Peregine • Design: 2 • Flavor: 4 • Originality: 4 • Total: 10 The design you are playing with here is interesting, but ultimately feels like it is a skill in all shape and size. I think that the scale of this and the trade off is probably where an item version should be, using the normal ratios reward swapping has. I like the flavor and the originality to think outside the combat box, but ultimately this gets knocked some points on design as it doesn't feel like an ability an equipment can do. Eyesore • User: inkblob • Design: 1 • Flavor: 5 • Originality: 4 • Total: 10 I like the flavor and the originality of this a lot, going after role play traits is interesting. Unfortunately, role play traits are an optional rule and this is a free $50 on each piece of equipment for a min/max level character. Even if it gives every NPC and PC free reign to bag on the player's sense of fashion. So while the design seems clean, the fact that it can stack across piece of equipment makes it too much value for too little cost. I gave this a split grade of 2/5 for 'Desirability' because if you're a min maxer this is a 5, if you're someone who actually cares about the Charisma hit this is probably about a 2. Dispersion • User: inkblob • Design: 1 • Flavor: 4 • Originality: 3 • Total: 8 So, this is a cool idea but unfortunately it has been done before, and is the design space of a bloodline as well. The design here is not very clean, with a lot of explaination to get the idea across and math that in the end feels odd. It is also unclear if this is the total damage or if this is after your defensive modifiers, and that causes another wrinkle as if you can apply your full Defense each turn that makes this pretty broken. Unfrotunately this all is going to be hits on the design points as I think to salvage this a lot of work would need to be done. That said, originality takes a few hits since this is a bloodline that I assume you never saw. The flavor is interesting though. Mind Guard • User: inkblob • Design: 5 • Flavor: 3 • Originality: 3 • Total: 11 I like this design a lot, but the flavor is a bit... hard to swallow. Mostly because I don't think its very cool to have to wear a magneto helmet around fighting. Design gets full points, originality a bit less as this is close to a port of our other damage reduction skills. Flavor gets decent marks, but loses some because it seems like your character would look like a big doofus with a lead helmet. Athletic Wear • User: inkblob • Design: 2 • Flavor: 5 • Originality: 3 • Total: 10 Does this stack with itself? The bonus is small enough but this feels like it should be slapped on every piece of equipment you have so that you get stacking reductions on costs. The flavor is simple and flexible, I could imagine this going on a wide variety of armor types. Simple design but somewhat untouched as well outside of the amplifiers. Seal of Quality • User: Rhaps Sodos • Design: 3 • Flavor: 4 • Originality: 5 • Total: 12 I like the flavor of these seals, basically branding equipment as “well made” is a flexible flavor that can apply to anything. Design wise I am not a fan of “chance to fail” on effects like this as they are unreliable. This is likely the only way we would create an ability like this however, and the scaling pricing is absolutely how I would design it if I was designing it. So those competing factors even out to a 3. Originality is high though, as this is the first attribute type that I have seen that is more about the “maker” of the armor than it is an innate trait of the item itself. Seal of Satisfaction • User: Rhaps Sodos • Design: 5 • Flavor: 5 • Originality: 5 • Total: 15 This attribute, while unexciting for most, is very well made. This is funny because I feel like a player wouldn't be very interested in buying this for a normal piece of armor, but it is an excellent tool to have in our arsenal for GM rewards to give to players where we can give them a cool item, but also the option to just sell it for pure money. This would be a full marks of 20 except for the fact that the goal is to make appealing attributes for the main site, and not good tools for GM rewards. Which is unfortunately, because this is going to get a perfect score and not win because of this. RIP. Emergency Dose • User: almondsAndRain • Design: 3 • Flavor: 4 • Originality: 5 • Total: 12 I like where this attribute is playing, triggered effects that use consumables is an interesting space that is not very explored. I think there are some functional issues where you need to designate this before hand which could make a player want to hit you with a small amount of damage to make you waste your item, which would feel bad. The flavor is a bit off as well since not every medicinal item works as an injection (though most do so I am hand waving this a bit) Fortified Armor • User: almondsAndRain • Design: 2 • Flavor: 3 • Originality: 4 • Total: 9 The design of this is deceptively unelegant. Two variables with one relying on the other is enough to confuse a lot of people, but then the cost also has multiplicative math as well makes for a rather confusing ability. As I said in another review, I am not a huge fan of random chance abilities that are all or nothing as they feel a little too swingy. That said, this could maybe be massaged into something less complex, or an element of this mixed with some other abilities that go after critical hits. Blast Resistance • User: almondsAndRain • Design: 5 • Flavor: 3 • Originality: 4 • Total: 12 This is a pretty clean design. The wording might need a little clean up to be absolutely clear, but two ranks adds up to only a 20% passive ignoring of a very narrow (but no too narrow!) ability. The only problem is that even reading this I am not sure if “ignore 20% of the opponent's defense” with one rank in this would be 10% or 18% Defense ignored. I am assuming 18% based on the wording but its just a hard thing to word. Flavor is pretty okay, but as usual its a bit hard since “hard armor is harder” isn't terribly rememberable. Originality gets high marks though as this is attacking an area that isn't normally seen. Scroll Case • User: almondsAndRain • Design: 5 • Flavor: 5 • Originality: 4 • Total: 14 This is a really nice little design. Like the above creations Flashbang and Smokescreen this changes the action economy in battle, but has a nice little limitation and makes a ton of sense in flavor. Like I said above in the other creation somewhat similar to this, I think there is a lot of potential design space in things like this that upgrade the action economy on consumables and other items. Adrenal Release • User: almondsAndRain • Design: 3 • Flavor: 2 • Originality: 4 • Total: 9 So you've thought through this the right amount, but this ability is just a bit... odd. You definitely had a very specific flavor you were going for but it doesn't feel generic enough for the main site. This would honestly be better as a consumable than am armor attribute overall. I would also probably adjust it to not put the responsibility of the opponents to find out who has the most stats and should launch the attack. Maybe instead just giving the opponent with the highest level the ability to treat you as fazed at any point? Or just have it happen on its own after 2 turns? Something. Anyways, this is certainly unique, and the flavor is cool though the effect and the flavor seem like they are stretching to meet. Overall I like this but its definitely wonky and would need some work to be finalized. Flavor got knocked mostly because this feels like a consumable instead of armor. Headlight • User: almondsAndRain • Design: 3 • Flavor: 5 • Originality: 4 • Total: 12 I laughed out loud when I read this. A funny little attribute, and probably totally fine. Design was knocked a few points as mechanically “naturally occurring” is a loose definition at best. That said, this could probably get put on the main site with very little changes. Nice little ability with easy to grasp flavor. I also imagine something completely not elegant. Like a big ol' cartoon miner hat. Camouflage Netting • User: Sol Pope • Design: 2 • Flavor: 4 • Originality: 4 • Total: 10 I like the flavor of this, using your clothing to blend in with the surrounding area. I don't like it as a reactive ability however. I feel like this should give a bonus to the next x rolls or something rather than be reactive. Reactive dice bonuses like this we usually leave to GM rewards and not things you can buy. It is just a bit too powerful for a normal attribute, even at +10. Since you get to trigger it you know that it will 100% of the time it activates turn a hit into a miss. Secret Compartment • User: Sol Pope • Design: 2 • Flavor: 5 • Originality: 4 • Total: 11 I like this idea a lot, but the mechanics are a bit weird. You use number of items instead of item slots, and I'm not sure what the stacking means on an effect that prevents people from targeting something, which confused me on the first read through. That said, an attribute for armor that allows you to apply hidden to items is really interesting. There are some weird edge cases to consider, for instance what happens if you put something into the compartment mid battle? Does that count as “using” it and can it be targeted? Somewhat unclear. I think that with some thought and work this could be a solid main site addition though. ~ Final Results ~ 1st Place — almondsAndRain | Scroll Case 2nd Place — PandaMattMatt | Impact Absorbers 3rd Place — Kouta | Repulsors All three of you get the $200 reward that may go to any of your characters! Link to this post in your logs!

Approved

@Princess 100% Disagree. The purpose of Trauma Skills is to unify these things into single effects so they all work the same and can be cured the same. That hindering you linked should 100% be using the Trauma Skill. We should absolutely 100% NOT be encouraging people to be making their own version of Trauma Skills. @wolfnin Not sure I am following your thought process on not allowing this as a Hindering. The ways I know to overcome some of these currently are not really great. And if a person permanently overcomes a hindering like regrowing their arm, etc, that should probably count as "Overcoming Your Problems" and refund the SP? If there are some of them that are easier to overcome (Loss of Arm comes to mind) then we should just price them at like +1 SP or something. Having your prostetic arm destroyed in combat is still a weakness they are opting to take on. I would add a line to this like "If this Trauma Skill ever becomes permanently overcome or healed this skill must be refunded with 'Overcome Your Problems'." What exactly "overcome" means can be up to staff. For instance a Prosthetic is not overcoming, but growing your arm back would be, etc.

The purpose of Trauma Skills is to unify what it means to have lost an arm / leg, etc. It is certainly the right thing to use them instead of making your own. The only question is whether or not we want such disabilities to be hindering skills or strictly GM handed out consequences.

I feel like this should probably be broken into two different Hinderings, one for legs and one for arms, and both with 2 ranks. Overall I think this is okay, but I would like other staff member opinions on this since. Especially @wolfnin since he is the father of the Trauma Skills and I would be interested in his thoughts on whether they should be able to just be taken as Hindering skills.

Approved But Yurane's approval doesn't stand since this changed substantially since her post.

I like your jacket, looks good.

Approved