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Claus

Zandoran Shinku

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~User Data~

-Posting: Weekday evenings.

-Time Zone: Central America -6

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Vital Statistics~

Name: Zandoran Shinku

Clan: [url=http://ninja-academy-online.com/forum/index.php?/topic/32941-the-zandoran-clan/]Zandoran[/url]

Birthplace: Kirigakure no SaTo

Current Residence: Unnamed Islands

Age: 17

D.O.B.: Summer of 2099

Sex: Male

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~Appearance~

-Height: 6'1"

-Weight: 186 lbs

-Hair Color: Crimson Red

-Eye Color: Crimson Red

-Clothing: Traditional black sandals, as all shinobi wear, for this is the only typical ninja clothing he commonly wears. Shinku typically wears a sort of vest-like attire with a single button keeping it from billowing in the wind, of course the button does not match the correct placement, leaving one end to look longer than the other. This is something he never seems to notice, or does on purpose, who knows. The vest is made of a water resistant material to help with swimming fully clothed, or as fully clothed as Shinku could be considered. He tends to wear somewhat loose fitting shorts. Most of the time one could find Shinku wearing his blacksmith's apron as he is usually hard at work on another blade or trying to invent something new.

 

-Physical Description: Shinku didn't grow much taller over the years, only landing on a hard six foot one inches, not very tall considering both his father and older brother are almost seven feet tall. His tanned skin was unusual compared to someone who spends their days in the sun, on the beach, where ever. It was sort of a pale tan as the only real heat to reach his skin was from the flames of his family's forge where he spent much of his time. Through the years he allowed his hair to grow rather long, probably could reach the middle of his back if it wasn't full of such volume. He mostly kept it in a low pony tail where it fanned out like an unkempt monkey. Only the back of his hair was kept in that band while the rest, including his bangs flowed effortlessly with the direction of the wind--like he never really bothered to comb it. There were too many other things to focus on then brushing one's hair if he didn't absolutely have to. The color of his hair and eyes seem to darken with his aging, crimson eyes darker than the blood that ran through his very veins.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Persona~

Personality: Still full of spirit and energy as much as his younger self but over the years he became more reserved and sort of a loner. He would spends days at a time in his forge after returning to his homeland and this caused him to interact with, well anyone, a lot less. His social skills were never lacking due to this, though he was able to learn to take a breath and think about his actions before taking them on. He learned to not be so impulsive as his younger self was. He still felt the responsibility to his family and friends soared ever higher than that of his ninja duties, however he kept up with his training as much as he could. Constantly doing something, whether it was working on his latest blade or practicing his new found adjustment toward genjutsu, Shinku never really found the time to realize and he seemed to prefer it that way. An idle hand... they would say.

 

Likes: Any fruit but pineapple, being a blacksmith, and cooking, and girls—definitely girls.

Dislikes: People who disrespect his Clan, and pineapples.

Favorites:

-Food: Grilled meat.

-Color: White.

-Music Genre: N/A

-Book Genre: Mystery

-Hangout: Anywhere that is scorching hot.

Edited by Claus
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~Background~

Current Allegiance: Kirigakure no Sato

Relationships:

-Parent(s): Mother: ShiShi. Father: Omato.

-Sibling(s): Elder brother: Ako. Elder sister: Eko. Younger sister: Chissy.

-Significant Other(s):

-Pet(s):

-Teacher(s):

-Friend(s):

History:

Shinku never grew up on the Islands of his people, with the prideful burning passion that the Zandoran so righteously walk with. In fact, when his parents were but teenagers they left the islands and ran to the nearest country they could reach—the Country of Water. Why the left the Zandoran Islands, Shinku would never know—most specifically because he never bothered to ask. Of course he knew of where he came from, about their history, their kekkai genkai, and their general roles in life, but Shinku had little interest in going "home” to see his people. He loved the life he made here in the Village Hidden in the Mist. Originally, ShiShi and Omato didn't know about shinobi and the hidden villages. All they cared for was their love for each other, but money was getting tight and Omato was forced to recall what his own father had taught him before he left the Islands—the art of a blacksmith.

Years passed and Omato finally perfected his skill in blacksmithery enough to open his own official shop in a small village. The shop was booming right off the back and that was when Omato and ShiShi were officially introduced into the world of the ninja. It wasn't the right time but nevertheless they were joyful for ShiShi's sudden pregnancy with twins, a boy and a girl by the name of Ako and Eko. With the shop Omato was making enough money to feed his family and own quite a suitable home. That was until stray shinobi turned into bandits and constantly stole weapons and money from his shop almost every night. He was losing more and more business from the lack of cash and supplies to make weaponry.

Fortunately luck was on their side, the Village Hidden in the Mist had received word of these bandits and sent a team of young shinobi out to deal with them. Taken out with ease, the shinobi quickly reassured the Zandoran family of their safety and were on their way home when Omato stopped them. He approached them and bowed deeply, he said that he was grateful for their services but he knew all to well that more bandits and hoodlums would return to mess with his shop. He negotiated with them, asking if he could travel with them to their home—the home of the shinobi. The adult of the group, a dark haired man who wore a pale vest, told the red haired man that this was a decision he could not make for himself but he would talk to their leader, the Mizukage, and send word if they are accepted. A year went by before they had gotten the letter they had oh so awaited for, and within the contents of the letter their faces lit up—they were accepted.

Finally, they could leave this small village of hoodlums and bandits and move to a safe place—to Kirigakure no Sato. And good timing too, for ShiShi was pregnant with yet another child. That's right, the protagonist of this story—the great, the wonderful, the fiery Zandoran Shinku. With the escort of a two man squad of shinobi, the crimson haired commoners made their way to the Village Hidden in the Mist with little struggle and almost no contact with road bandits.

Exactly four months after they settled into their little corner of Kirigakure no Sato, Shinku was born and immediately Omato and ShiShi knew he was going to be a very spirited child. But it wasn't without a price, Shinku was born with a rare disease—however it was very curable, the only problem was it was very expensive. So for the first four years of Shinku's life, Omato, his father, worked hard at his shop—almost never home to be with his children—to make the money to buy the cure for Shinku's heart disease. This made Ako and Eko very jealous of Shinku, because of home they didn't see their father as much and even despite his illness, they picked on him and played a little too rough with him.

At one point they had even almost killed Shinku, but he was too young to know any better. He grew up thinking that was how siblings play and even in his older years he continued to play rough with his older siblings. Eventually, Omato earned enough money to pay for the treatments to heal his precious little boy and Shinku was cured, completely. Not a trace of the disease remained and hopefully he would live the rest of his life without anymore problems—illness wise at least.

Fortunately for Shinku, he grew up without any concern of the war between the NCIA and the resistance but that did not change the fact that he wanted to follow in his older siblings footsteps, despite their constant aggressiveness and dislike toward him. He went into the Ninja Academy as soon as possible and trained in the arts of the Shinobi. Of course, the academy of a foreign country could not teach Shinku about his Zandoran roots. His mother, ShiShi, who had training in controlling the Himotohai, the fire lung each Zandoran possesses, taught Shinku how to use it and from there he mastered jutsus of his own.

Surrounded by friends and family members, Shinku was very happy. Especially when his little sister, Chissy, was born. She admired Shinku like any younger sibling would admire their big brother. Once Shinku reached his teen years he started to become irritated with Chissy constantly following him around where ever he would go. Also, she would get upset and pout whenever he'd leave for a mission and she couldn't go. But luckily for both Shinku and Chissy, Shinku was able to find her her own friends she could hang out with and finally Shinku lost his little annoying shadow. But his love for his little sister never budged.

 

Once he had reached the ripe age of a young adult he came to realize that there was little keeping him bound to Kirigakure no Sato and he abandoned his duties as a ninja of the hidden mist. It didn't take much of a solo adventure to find himself on the shores of his true home, the isles in which he was born but never was raised. Before he even saw a member of his Clan or was told where exactly he was, he knew. He knew that this was were he was supposed to be, at least for the time being. He was quickly stripped of the Zandoran tattoo that he so proudly displayed across the left side of his face, the elders of the isles immediately decided that he never truly earned those markings and were given to him by a father who abandoned his own duties to the Clan for a simple life with his small family. Though hurt by this at first, Shinku quickly got over it and decided to make a name for himself. Taking what he had learned from the village of hidden mist and combined those techniques with what he learned from his recent years on the isles of his home. Considering he was never trained on the isles, the other Zandoran soon grew to respect his unorthodox technique of folding metals into blades. He made a trademark for himself and he was a proud Zandoran. His weapons were sold to traveling merchants all over the world and his name would one day ring in shops all around with pride. There wasn't much else to say about Shinku nowadays, he could either be found in his family's old forge or out by the shores training. He could often write to his family and let them know how he was doing and they would do so in return. Though saddened by his absence, his family still loved and cherished their kin unconditionally. 

 

Of course, that feeling from long ago returned. Somewhere, deep inside he felt he was destined for more but he doesn't know if he could bare the thought of leaving this island. Though he felt even deeper in his gut that something might wash up on the very shores he trained on that could change his mind. To seek another adventure, a true one.

((To be continue'd))

Edited by Claus
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Statistics

Death Bonus: None

Rank: Genin

Level: 16

TXP: 6,650

Total Stat Points: 2100

-Stats-

(Health) 300

(Stamina) 200

(Chakra) 300

(Taijutsu) 200

(Defense) 200

(Ninjutsu) 100

(Genjutsu) 300

(Concentration) 100

(Speed) 100

(Accuracy) 100

(Evasion) 200

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~Skills~

Skill Point Tally: (15/16)

Remaining Skill Points:

Skills:

Successful

Whether you're well off from your family, naturally talented at getting the most of your money, or just an entrepreneur you never seem to be lacking a little Ryo in your pocket.
You may gain +10% Ryo from Training, Battles, Gamemaster and Mission rewards. Bonus Ryo from other sources is not included in this.

Ranks: 5

Cost: -2

 

Second Wind

Pure tenacity is the only word to describe you. When most would be down for the count you will drag yourself back to your feet to finish the job.
Once per battle, if the user's health would be reduced to zero or less, the user's health is reduced to 1 instead. If the user's health would be reduced below -25% of its total then this skill does not come into effect.

Cost: -2

 

Strategist

You are a planner, a thinker. It is not uncommon for you to be three steps ahead of your opponent and making moves that make no sense now but pay off in the long run.
Once a battle, and only once, you may choose to have any of your attacks on a single target become a critical hit for 1.5 times its usual total damage.

Cost: -3

 

Iron Will

When the opposition wants to break you down, you stand your ground firm. Taijutsu breaks on you like waves on the shore, nothing can sunder you in that pure moment of clarity.
Once per your rank in this skill you may treat your evasion and defense as if they were 1.5x their current value for a single Taijutsu attack aimed at you. The incoming attack cannot be of a higher rank than your own. This may not be used against an attack from a ninja of higher ninja rank than your own. Must be mentioned that it is being used when the dodge roll is made.

Ranks: 2

Cost: -2

 

Hinderings:

Pervert; [Female]

Many compare you to a young Jiraiya... It's not a compliment.
Whenever this character attacks a [Gender] opponent for the first time in battle they are immediately afflicted with 'Charmed' against that opponent for two (2) turns. By default you may only choose male or female, however with staff permission you may choose physical characteristics instead.

Ranks: 2

Cost: +1

 

Clan/Bloodline:

 

Kazanshin 
// Heart of the Volcano
Description: Before the time they were sent as guardians of the 'first user' of the 'scroll', the Zandoran were a clan of blacksmiths that lived in Mizu no Kuni, a clan that quickly learned that the best way to make weapons was to know exactly how to use them, and who picked up nindo as a result. They lived on an a highly active volcanic island which was off the coast of Mizu no Kuni as it was at the time, and because of their blacksmithing and the fact they had to deal with the heat from being near magma streams if the volcano flowed (Which it did, and often did, at that.) They slowly began to gain a tolerance to heat. As a Zandoran matures, their blood exhibits a unique compound, much like solidified magma that clumps upon their skin in the reaction to active tenketsu. At first it seemed like an unfortunate defect, but with more study it was observed that this ore would regenerate even if destroyed, as long as their chakra flowed.
Requirements: Himotohai
Rank 1 - Passive Effect: User is permanently immune to status effect 'Burned', and terrain effects involving heat, such as Lavaflow and Boiling Mud/Tar. 

Restriction: Advanced regeneration skills may not be activated while this is active. This is an advanced system. May only be active with Himotohai.

Upkeep: When in use, this organ takes up 3% of the user's total chakra per turn.  activated in the set-Up Phase.  May be activated independently or codependently of Himotohai.

Cost: -2 per rank

 

Himotohai
// Fire Lung
Description: Many of the clans which exist amongst the people's of Kirigakure no Sato have physiological differences with others, and some have special abilities from these different physical traits. In the case of the Zandoran, their temprokinetic ability to lessen the heat which they are hit with is not the only altered trait. There is another, the Himotohai, or in layman's terms, the 'Fire Lung'. This special organ is referred to as a lung, but it's actually a small organ tied to the lungs and breathing patterns. It it actually at the top of the mouth, and coverts breath, into blasts of fire or highly heated water if the shinobi knows how to use such jutsu, if the shinobi knows how to control this special organ to that point. This is an alteration of the temperature of the breath, and is actually catching fire of the carbon dioxide exhaled by the Zandoran. They are not harmed by it because of their bodies natural strength against high heat, and as such this makes them seem almost as if they were born of fire dragon's. This is the likely reason for the clan's name.
Effects: Upon taking this skill, the user will gain the skill’ Subtle Elements; Fire’ for free in place of their village’s starting element.
Whenever using jutsu which include 'fire' element, or are a combination which includes the 'fire' element (up to a 3 element combination), and this is active, the user's ninjutsu (Or genjutsu, if used with Elemental Archetype) is considered to be Base+4X, where X is the level of user. This cannot exceed the 1.5X base stat ruling.
Upkeep: When in use, this organ takes up 2% of the user's total chakra per turn.  Activated in Set-Up Phase. May be activated independently or codependently of Kazenshin.
Restriction: Must be taken at character creation, though it can be considered 'locked' until the user wishes to buy it with SP. This is an advanced system. May only be activated with Kazenshin.
Cost: -4
 

Skills learned from Jounins:

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~Techniques~

Jutsu Points: 9 Used : 0 Available : 21 Total

Genjutsus:

 

Lurking Beasts | Tōkamono
Type: Genjutsu 
Rank: Gennin 
Cost: 60 Chakra 
Effect: The target is afflicted with 'Afraid; 2' for one (1) turn and 'Afraid; 1' for one (1) turn on the following turn.
Description: The user of this jutsu creates the illusion using sound that there are several monstrous creatures near him/her ready to attack. This is emanated mainly by loud growls and snarls, the sound of heavy plodding footfalls, and noises of the environment being disturbed (if in a rocky area, it sounds like pebbles are being kicked, in high grass there is shuffling, etc.) 
Points: 3

 

Sacred Arrow of the Phantom | Genzou Hamaya
Type: Genjutsu 
Rank: Gennin 
Cost: 45 Chakra 
Damage: 20 Ghost Damage
Effect: The target of this technique is afflicted with 'Weakened' for one (1) turn.
Description: A surprisingly quick attack, the user of this technique only needs to perform one quick hand seal to release Chakra into the air; this Chakra will affect a target's mind and cause him/her/it to imagine an arrow being shot at him/her/it. 
Points: 3

 

Ninjutsus:

 

 

Clone Technique | Bunshin no Jutsu
Type: Ninjutsu 
Rank: Academy Student 
Cost: 5x Chakra 
Effect: This technique may be used in the Setup Phase or Main Phase. When determining the cost of this technique 'x' is considered to be the number of 'Clones' created by the user and may never be greater than 2. 'Clones' have 1 Health and 1% of the user's other statistics. 'Clones' are not physical and may not take any actions. The user of this technique gains +20 Evasion or +20 Accuracy for every 'Clone' of this type on the battlefield. The bonuses of 'Clones' of this type may be ignored by any character with heightened senses (i.e; Byakugan, Path of the Sensor, Inuzuka Smell Tracker, etc). This technique may be used in the Setup Phase 1 time per battle.
Description: A technique that most students are required to be proficient in before they can graduate from the academy, the Bunshin no Jutsu is the most basic of the myriad of clone techniques that exist in the world. By properly molding their chakra, the user is capable of creating near perfect replicas of themselves. Unlike most bunshinjutsu, the basic clone technique does not produce physical clones but creates something more akin to a projected image, which is a real image that has no form. The Clone Technique is considered an E-Ranked jutsu, and is not very powerful, but with practice and ingenuity many shinobi have come to use it in masterful ways. Most often stalling by hiding out among their clones, or setting themselves up for a strong offensive. 
Points: Free Upon Creation
 

 

Body Replacement Technique | Kawarimi no Jutsu
Type: Ninjutsu 
Rank: Academy Student 
Cost: x Chakra 
Effect: This technique may be performed as a Free Action in the Response Phase following a failed dodge roll. When determining the cost of this technique 'x' is equivalent to the cost of 1 Basic Unarmed Attack or Small Weapon Attack that the user failed to dodge. The damage and effects of that Basic Unarmed Attack or Small Weapon Attack are negated. The user may take no action in the Setup Phase or Main Phase on the turn this technique is used. This technique has a 5% chance to fail. This technique may be performed 1 time per battle.
Description: A life-saving technique for most young shinobi, the Body Replacement Jutsu has been a staple in academy learning for many years. By utilizing their ability to manipulate chakra, with quick movement, a skillful shinobi is capable of switching their position with another object to evade damage. By creating a simple optical illusion, the user of the Kawarimi no Jutsu can make it appear as though they were damaged or even killed by the opponent's attack. Some ninja become extremely adept in the usage of this technique, and have even been known to swap places with hazardous materials to trap their enemies. 
Points: Free Upon Creation

 

Transformation Technique | Henge no Jutsu
Type: Ninjutsu 
Rank: Academy Student 
Cost: 10 Chakra 
Effect: During any situation in which a character with this technique would need to calculate their 'Visibility Score', they may use this technique to reduce their 'Visibility Score' by -10%. 'Visibility Score' reduction caused by this technique may be ignored by any character with heightened senses (i.e; Byakugan, Path of the Sensor, Inuzuka Smell Tracker, etc).
Description: The Transformation Technique is a time-honored staple of nearly every shinobi academy the world over. Its concept and execution are both extremely basic, making it a perfect training technique for young students. By molding chakra around their body, the user of the Transformation Jutsu is able to temporarily take on the physical characteristics of another person. Though the Henge no Jutsu rarely offers a perfect disguise, clever ninja have been using it for hundreds of years to confound their foes. 
Points: Free Upon Creation

 

Taijutsus:

 

Spiral Throw | Rasennejiru
Type: Taijutsu 
Rank: Gennin 
Cost: 50 Stamina 
Damage: 30
Effect: roll a d10, if below 5 then the opponent is dizzy for 1 turn.
Description: The user does many false movements then speeds up and punches them in the face. As they move to uppercut though they spin rapidly, sometimes causing dizziness in the opponent. 
Points: 3

 

 

Jutsu learned from Jounins:

Edited by Claus
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~Inventory~

(The Armor and Weapons sections reflect what you have equipped. The Items section reflects what you have, period.)

--Armor:

-Head: 

-Neck: Hiati-Ate

-Body:

-Waist:

-Forearm(s):

-Hand(s):

-Thigh(s):

-Calve(s):

-Feet:

--Weapons:

-Main Weapon:

-Sub Weapon:

--Item Listing

-Items on Hand: 4 Shuriken, 4 Kunai, and 3 Senbon Needles

-Items in Vault: None

-Money on Hand: $925

-Money in Bank: 0

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Logs~

Exp Earned:

Transaction Log:

Mission Log:

Rank D:

Rank C:

Rank B:

Rank A:

Rank S:

Edited by Claus
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Alright, a fair few things here are going to need to change, so I'll do what I can to source them and we will see where we end up. From the top!

Clan: You're linking to an outdated version of the clan. The current link is here. Please use this link instead.

 

Birthdate: Given the current year is 2116, being born in 2099 would make your character 17, not 22. So decide which is more important, his being 22 years of age or his being born in 2099. Then change the opposite to 2094 or 17 respectively. Unless the plan is to advance him off into his own timeline. That's fine, but keep that you are doing that in mind when important chronological events set in 2116 take place. If a war takes place and Shinku takes part, he may be a jounin in 2121 but that doesn't make him one retroactively.

 

Skills: Okay, so you have one hindering, so instead of 15 total SP you should have 16. Pervert is worth +1. Also, please list how much SP you're spending on everything, tracking it is just a nightmare without that.

  • Successful has changed, it now works as follows: 
Quote

Successful

Whether you're well off from your family, naturally talented at getting the most of your money, or just an entrepreneur you never seem to be lacking a little Ryo in your pocket.
You may gain +10% Ryo from Training, Battles, Gamemaster and Mission rewards. Bonus Ryo from other sources is not included in this.

Ranks: 5

Cost: -2

  • Second Wind has changed, it now works as follows:
    Quote

    Second Wind

    Pure tenacity is the only word to describe you. When most would be down for the count you will drag yourself back to your feet to finish the job.
    Once per battle, if the user's health would be reduced to zero or less, the user's health is reduced to 1 instead. If the user's health would be reduced below -25% of its total then this skill does not come into effect.

    Cost: -2

  • Strategist has changed, it now works as follows:
    Quote

    Strategist

    You are a planner, a thinker. It is not uncommon for you to be three steps ahead of your opponent and making moves that make no sense now but pay off in the long run.
    Once a battle, and only once, you may choose to have any of your attacks on a single target become a critical hit for 1.5 times its usual total damage.

    Cost: -3

  • Iron Will has changed, it now works as follows:
    Quote

    Iron Will

    When the opposition wants to break you down, you stand your ground firm. Taijutsu breaks on you like waves on the shore, nothing can sunder you in that pure moment of clarity.
    Once per your rank in this skill you may treat your evasion and defense as if they were 1.5x their current value for a single Taijutsu attack aimed at you. The incoming attack cannot be of a higher rank than your own. This may not be used against an attack from a ninja of higher ninja rank than your own. Must be mentioned that it is being used when the dodge roll is made.

    Ranks: 2

    Cost: -2

  • Pervert has changed, it now works as follows:
    Quote

    Pervert; [Female]

    Many compare you to a young Jiraiya... It's not a compliment.
    Whenever this character attacks a [Gender] opponent for the first time in battle they are immediately afflicted with 'Charmed' against that opponent for two (2) turns. By default you may only choose male or female, however with staff permission you may choose physical characteristics instead.

    Ranks: 2

    Cost: +1

 

Bloodline: So I am going to put this here. You have all your bloodline skills listed under your techniques. Weird. Probably better to put it up with skills, as bloodlines are collections of skills. That said, I won't call out each individual part of your bloodline, it's basically all outdated now as the bloodline was resubbed a few years back. The "modern" version is here.

 

Techniques: A few things to go over here.

  • Academy basics have all changed, their modern versions can be found here.
  • Hi Jiten is currently dead. If you want it on your sheet you will need to resubmit it.
  • Hihira is currently dead. If you want it on your sheet you will need to resubmit it. Additionally, as your character is a gennin and the technique is chuunin rank, you will need to pay double the JP cost to take it.
  • Kasairyuu is currently dead. If you want it on your sheet you will need to resubmit it. Additionally, as your character is a gennin and the technique is chuunin rank, you will need to pay double the JP cost to take it.

 

Inventory: Standard fare is to grant 4 kunai and 4 shuriken at character creation now, I would approve you swapping your senbon for kunai and shuriken if you so choose.

 

 

 

Other than that, it should be fine. So either remove the offending techniques and update everything else or go resub them and we can get this moving. I see you edited the versions in dead, unfortunately that doesn't pass muster mate. You'll need to make new threads with those techniques but they look reasonably basic, we should get them stamped quickly. Good luck.

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I have made all the changes listed. Thank you for finding all that information for me, you're a life saver. Lol

 

I removed all my dead clan skills and added new jutsus as after moving my clan stuff to skills I had no actually JP spent P:

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