Himotohai & Kazanshin

[Azure]

Himotohai
// Fire Lung
Description: Many of the clans which exist amongst the people's of Kirigakure no Sato have physiological differences with others, and some have special abilities from these different physical traits. In the case of the Zandoran, their temprokinetic ability to lessen the heat which they are hit with is not the only altered trait. There is another, the Himotohai, or in layman's terms, the 'Fire Lung'. This special organ is referred to as a lung, but it's actually a small organ tied to the lungs and breathing patterns. It it actually at the top of the mouth, and coverts breath, into blasts of fire or highly heated water if the shinobi knows how to use such jutsu, if the shinobi knows how to control this special organ to that point. This is an alteration of the temperature of the breath, and is actually catching fire of the carbon dioxide exhaled by the Zandoran. They are not harmed by it because of their bodies natural strength against high heat, and as such this makes them seem almost as if they were born of fire dragon's. This is the likely reason for the clan's name.
Effects: The user receives the skill 'Subtle Elements; Fire' for free. This replaces their free village skill.
When making an attack with the [Fire] tag, or when activating the bonus of Subtle Elements: Fire (up to a tier-three combinatorial), the user will increase their Ninjutsu by 4x, whereas x is the user's level. The user may opt to increase their Genjutsu by 4x instead if they are making an attack with the Elemental Archetype with a [Fire] tag. X may not exceed 1.5x of the chosen stat.
Upkeep: When in use, this organ takes up 2% of the user's total chakra per turn.  Activated in Set-Up Phase. May be activated independently or codependently of Kazenshin.
Restriction: Must be taken at character creation, though it can be considered 'locked' until the user wishes to buy it with SP. This is an advanced system. May only be activated with Kazenshin.
Cost: -4

Kazanshin
// Heart of the Volcano
Description: Before the time they were sent as guardians of the 'first user' of the 'scroll', the Zandoran were a clan of blacksmiths that lived in Mizu no Kuni, a clan that quickly learned that the best way to make weapons was to know exactly how to use them, and who picked up nindo as a result. They lived on an a highly active volcanic island which was off the coast of Mizu no Kuni as it was at the time, and because of their blacksmithing and the fact they had to deal with the heat from being near magma streams if the volcano flowed (Which it did, and often did, at that.) They slowly began to gain a tolerance to heat. As a Zandoran matures, their blood exhibits a unique compound, much like solidified magma that clumps upon their skin in the reaction to active tenketsu. At first it seemed like an unfortunate defect, but with more study it was observed that this ore would regenerate even if destroyed, as long as their chakra flowed.
Requirements: Himotohai
Rank 1 - Passive Effect: User takes 50% less 'Burning' damage from all sources from their rank or lower and halve terrain effects involving heat, such as Lavaflow and Boiling Mud/Tar created by techniques of their rank or lower.
Rank 2 - Activated Effect: When this bloodline skill is activated, the user will gain a shield with x health. X is equal to amount of chakra paid in upkeep of this bloodline this turn. For every turn this remains active, the user will gain an additional x health to their shield. The value of the shield can never exceed more than 15% of the user's total chakra.  Shield regeneration occurs when chakra/stamina regeneration does.
Rank 3 - Activated Effect: When this bloodline skill is activated, the user will gain a shield with 2x health. X is equal to amount of chakra paid in upkeep of this bloodline this turn. For every turn this remains active, the user will gain an additional x health to their shield. The value of the shield can never exceed more than 15% of the user's total chakra.  Shield regeneration occurs when chakra/stamina regeneration does.  

Upkeep: When in use, this organ takes up 3% of the user's total chakra per turn.  activated in the Set-Up Phase.  May be activated independently or codependently of Himotohai.

Restriction: Advanced regeneration skills may not be activated while this is active. This is an advanced system. May only be active with Himotohai.

Cost: -2 per rank

[PandaMattMatt]

Just to clarify, if the User's heat shield is destroyed in one turn, do they get that shield back on the next?

 

Also, when does this heat shield regen? At the same time as Chakra/Stamina generally would? Or at a different time?

 

Side Note: I really like this. It's a SUPER simple bloodline but effective and concise. More bloodlines should be like this. High five.

[Azure]

Yes. It does come back.  Heat shield regen will happen the same time normal regen.

 

And thanks! It was originally more complicated and closer to its original (where it gave straight damage reduction) but that was needless and probably broke.  This I like because it grows with the user.

[PandaMattMatt]

Can each system be activated independent of one another? Like, can you have Kazanshin active without Himotohai? Vice versa?

[Azure]

Yes.

[PandaMattMatt]

APPROVED

[Cellar Door]

Can this be activated in any phase? Since it has an Defensive quality it's important to specify when it can be activated, and what happens if it is activated in response to an attack.

[Azure]

Set up phase.  Its the heart of the cards man, what the rules intended! Added that bit to prevent derpin' around.

[Hardcore Skittlez]

Looks fine to me. Pretty interesting mechanics. Approved

[PandaMattMatt]

Mine still stands

[Azure]

Moved back to custom because Burned is no longer a status effect to be immune to! Since we've redone status effects and terrain effects, I swapped out blanket immunity to half damage from burning DoT and half terrain effects from user's rank or lower.

[Princess]

Himotohai: 
-The wording needs to be updated to the modern term, so it should read "The user receives the skill 'Subtle Elements; Fire' for free. This replaces their free village skill.".

-The second ability could be cleaned up. "While Himotohai is active, the user gains 4X Ninjutsu that can only be applied while using a ninjutsu with either Fire Element or a Combinatorial Element of Tier 3 or lower that includes Fire. The user gains 4X Genjutsu that can only be applied while using an Elemental Archetype genjutsu jutsu with either Fire Element or a Combinatorial Element of Tier 3 or lower that includes Fire. The value of X is the user's level." 
-The upkeep states you can activate it independently. The restrictions state you can only activate it with Kazanshin. Pick one. I think the version listed in upkeep is the intention. 

-Side note, as you originally wrote it and as I have cleared it up above, a Ninjutsu/Genjutsu using Fire/Elemental Archetype: Fire would get 4X Ninjutsu and 4X Genjutsu. Which is fine, but far in excess of what 2% per turn should be granting. Maybe state only one bonus can be activated at any given time? I get for genjutsu you aren't getting this defensively so there's a case for it being cheaper there, but ninjutsu isn't a defensive stat, so only having it when attacking is really no different to having it all the time.

 

Kazanshin:
- I think the combined toatl of 3X shield generation is getting a bit much for functionally 0 cost. I would probably rather both ranks be gain X and stack to you get double what you pay in upkeep as a shield. That puts you at jounin/sennin ratios of shield generation and in the health gained. I think that's fair. You also need to specify how long this shield lasts, standard is the length of the jutsu, but this isn't a jutsu. Last little note on the shields, when it says you gain X equal to the upkeep paid for the bloodline, please add a note specifying 'this turn'. No having your bloodline on for 10 turns then popping this for an insane shield because you've paid 10 turns of upkeep and now multiply that by 3 to start and 2 each turn compounding indefinitely.

[Cellar Door]

I think you're being a little hard on this, Princess.

Consider all that the Byakugan comes away with paying 5% per turn. The upkeep costs of bloodlines are really not where the drain comes from with Advanced Systems so much as the suspension of advanced regeneration abilities. If you're fighting with chakra, but not getting chakra back, you run out. This is also one of the most tightly constrained stat bonus abilities in a bloodline that we've seen. It's at maximum 480 stats with a pure ninjutsu or 960 on a Nin/Gen hybrid. Byakugan maxes out at 1440.

The second branch also feels pretty fine to me, especially when you grade it next to a bloodline like the Dead Bone Pulse, where for the same SP cost, they would regenerate 9% of their total health per turn. The upkeep is greater, mind you, but the amount of regeneration is quite a lot higher than the shield generation. There are some differences of course that need to be considered, most importantly @Azure, Kazanshin will need a maximum amount of shield the user can have at any given time. Right now it's open-ended and a dodgy enough character could really grow a fat shield, so this will need some kind of cap to reign that in.

But other than that, I find this bloodline fairly modest, and I think when a bloodline is not trying to milk out every last drop of power it can, we can afford to give them some leeway. I'm not gonna approve it over you or anything, but food for thought.

[Princess]

It's essentially ignoring the first hundred odd damage a turn, carrying any excess over and ignoring effects if it reduces to 0. But overall I think I can soak it if a couple of the changes to Kazanshin we've asked for are made.

 

-Put an upper limit on the shield health.

-Specify upkeep paid this turn turns into health.

 

If KC thinks the stats on the first one are fine for cost I'll back him on that. The modern wording and contradictory terms will still need fixing though.

[Cellar Door]

Right. And that's basically all it's doing.

Bonus fire damage
A shield


Stack that bloodline up against any of the big hitters and you will rapidly find that even if the shield is pretty powerful, this is not even close to the same kind of monster that many of them are. Which is why I say let it have some power. It's a bloodline that is essentially choosing to be good at just 1 thing. 

[Princess]

So the approvable form should be: 

Himotohai// Fire Lung
Description: Many of the clans which exist amongst the people's of Kirigakure no Sato have physiological differences with others, and some have special abilities from these different physical traits. In the case of the Zandoran, their temprokinetic ability to lessen the heat which they are hit with is not the only altered trait. There is another, the Himotohai, or in layman's terms, the 'Fire Lung'. This special organ is referred to as a lung, but it's actually a small organ tied to the lungs and breathing patterns. It it actually at the top of the mouth, and coverts breath, into blasts of fire or highly heated water if the shinobi knows how to use such jutsu, if the shinobi knows how to control this special organ to that point. This is an alteration of the temperature of the breath, and is actually catching fire of the carbon dioxide exhaled by the Zandoran. They are not harmed by it because of their bodies natural strength against high heat, and as such this makes them seem almost as if they were born of fire dragon's. This is the likely reason for the clan's name.
Effects: The user receives the skill 'Subtle Elements; Fire' for free. This replaces their free village skill.
While Himotohai is active, the user gains 4X Ninjutsu and 4X Genjutsu that can only be applied while using either a ninjutsu with either Fire Element, a Combinatorial Element of Tier 3 or lower that includes Fire or a Genjutsu using Elemental Archetype and an element that matches the previous restrictions. The value of X is equal to the user's level.
Upkeep: When in use, this organ takes up 2% of the user's total chakra per turn.  Activated in Set-Up Phase. May be activated independently or codependently of Kazenshin.
Restriction: Must be taken at character creation, though it can be considered 'locked' until the user wishes to buy it with SP. This is an advanced system. 
Cost: -4

 

Kazanshin// Heart of the Volcano
Description: Before the time they were sent as guardians of the 'first user' of the 'scroll', the Zandoran were a clan of blacksmiths that lived in Mizu no Kuni, a clan that quickly learned that the best way to make weapons was to know exactly how to use them, and who picked up nindo as a result. They lived on an a highly active volcanic island which was off the coast of Mizu no Kuni as it was at the time, and because of their blacksmithing and the fact they had to deal with the heat from being near magma streams if the volcano flowed (Which it did, and often did, at that.) They slowly began to gain a tolerance to heat. As a Zandoran matures, their blood exhibits a unique compound, much like solidified magma that clumps upon their skin in the reaction to active tenketsu. At first it seemed like an unfortunate defect, but with more study it was observed that this ore would regenerate even if destroyed, as long as their chakra flowed.
Requirements: Himotohai
Rank 1 - Passive Effect: User takes 50% less 'Burning' damage from all sources from their rank or lower and halve terrain effects involving heat, such as Lavaflow and Boiling Mud/Tar created by techniques of their rank or lower.
Rank 2 - Activated Effect: When this bloodline skill is activated, the user will gain a shield with x health. X is equal to amount of chakra paid in upkeep of this bloodline this turn. For every turn this remains active, the user will gain an additional x health to their shield. The value of the shield can never exceed more than 15% of the user's total chakra.  Shield regeneration occurs when chakra/stamina regeneration does.
Rank 3 - Activated Effect: When this bloodline skill is activated, the user will gain a shield with 2x health. X is equal to amount of chakra paid in upkeep of this bloodline this turn. For every turn this remains active, the user will gain an additional x health to their shield. The value of the shield can never exceed more than 15% of the user's total chakra.  Shield regeneration occurs when chakra/stamina regeneration does.  

Restriction: Advanced regeneration skills may not be activated while this is active. This is an advanced system.

Upkeep: When in use, this organ takes up 3% of the user's total chakra per turn. It is activated in the Set-Up Phase and may be activated independently or codependently of Himotohai.

Cost: -2 per rank


So with this, you're getting all the stuff originally asked for, with the needed clarifications in, and two shields, both capping at 15% of your chakra for at total of 30% of your chakra as a shield if your opponent doesn't attack you for 3 turns. The numbers can be tweaked, but I think this is the correct wording to use across the bloodline.

[Azure]

Some notes:

• I've cleaned up the wording to make it flow better and clarify the prerequisite of activation.
• In noting restrictions, the reason I say Himotohai may only be activated with Kazanshin but may be activated independently is because in our rules only one advanced system may be active at once. I thought this was the cleanest way to declare them both advanced systems, but allowing for situational flexibility.
• Added in caps.

[Cellar Door]

[Princess]

Approved!

 

Now onto your other ancient bloodline for a new player.