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Warr

World Turtle Style I

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Yochikame-ryuu Jutsu; Komoru (World Turtle Style Technique; Withdraw) | 輿地亀流術・こもる

Type: Taijutsu [World Turtle Style]

Rank: Sennin

Cost: 493 Stamina; 372 Stamina Upkeep

Effects: Increase the user's defense by 620. Generate 2 'Turtle Charges'.

Description: The quintessential technique of the World Turtle Style, with Withdraw the user strikes a defensive posture akin to a turtle 'withdrawing' into their shell. This technique may seem rudimentary, but the defensive aspects of keeping one's body close together cannot be understated.

Points: 8 JP

 

Yochikame-ryuu Jutsu; Mamoru (World Turtle Style Technique; Protect) | 輿地亀流術・まもる

Type: Taijutsu [World Turtle Style | Response Phase]

Rank: Sennin

Cost: 1X ( Where X is the cost of the targetted attack.)

Effects: Target unresolved attack currently targeting an Ally. That jutsu now targets this character. This character does not get to roll to dodge that jutsu, but that jutsu is automatically considered a “Block” for this character. This technique generates two 'Turtle Charges'. This technique has a 5% fail chance. Usable twice per battle.

Description: Using their keen defensive mind, the user throws themselves in front of an attack aimed at an ally at an angle which will provide themselves ample opportunity to block the incoming attack.

Points: 5 JP

 

Yochikame-ryuu Jutsu; Teppeki (World Turtle Style Technique; Iron Wall) | 輿地亀流術・てっぺき

Type: Taijutsu [World Turtle Style]

Rank: Sennin

Cost: 894 Stamina; 804 Upkeep

Effects: Increase the user's defense by 1340.

Description: Focusing their energy into steeling their body, the user increases the hardness of their skin through sheer force of will, becoming akin to an iron wall, this is truly the 'iron defense'.

Points: 5 JP

Edited by Warr
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The nomenclature on the first implies that it may be generating 3 charges. If that's the intent, no bueno. Otherwise, I'd just drop the "additional" from the effect there so that it is clear that you are only generating two charges.

 

Drop the "additional" from the second technique as well. Also, usable twice per battle and standard 5% to fail.

 

Third... This is so expensive that it's basically unfeasible to use, but nothing is technically wrong with it.

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Removed the additional from both, but bumped the stated amount in the second to two, because blocking already adds 1 in normal circumstances, to the gained charges. Given that at 1X, with a 5% fail chance I could just negate the attack entirely, I feel this is fair.

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These look good to me now, but based on your reply above, I do need to inform you that you can only gain charges from a single source per turn. That means that if you generate 2 from this, you wouldn't generate 1 from your style naturally blocking.

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These look good to me now, but based on your reply above, I do need to inform you that you can only gain charges from a single source per turn. That means that if you generate 2 from this, you wouldn't generate 1 from your style naturally blocking.

Which is why I did it that way as far as bumping charges, to give it some incentive to be done.
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The upkeep for the first technique is a little off? Even if you don't count the cost of the 2 charges, 90% of 413 is 372.

 

Second needs a line specifying the value of X.

 

Third is like the first; your upkeep is too low. 90% of 894 is 804.

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