Rhyno906254 Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 (edited) Name: Smoke Release: Smoke Slam Technique Type: Ninjutsu [Smoke] Rank: Genin Cost: 20 Chakra Damage: 20 Description: This is a straightforward attack. The user takes a deep inhale and their chest expands past the capacity of a normal human. Upon the exhale, chakra infused smoke comes out of their mouth and takes the shape of a fist as it slams into the opponent. Points: 1 Name: Smoke Release: Smoke Barrage Type: Ninjutsu [Smoke] Rank: Genin Cost: 30 Chakra Damage: 10 Per strike Effects: This technique has three (3) strikes. Description: Smoke pours out of the user’s palm and forms three (3) shuriken that fly toward a single opponent. Points: 2 Edited February 27, 2023 by Rhyno906254 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tw33dle Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 Welcome back! If I’m not mistaken, these are your first techs. Not a bad start. Just a few things clean up and one recommendation Overall: Not a huge thing, if the techniques don't have an effect, you actually don't need to include an effect in the technique. I’ll also provide some recommended fixes below. Smoke Slam: The math on all of this is correct, excellent job! It’s really easy to miss things when first getting started on custom stuff. Below is what the technique should look like in regards to formatting. Unless you want to remove the Effect, this is Approved! Smoke Slam II: Honestly, my recommendation is to remove this technique. Once a technique is evolved, it can’t be evolved again. And since you’re just getting started, it could be helpful to wait to evolve the tech until you have a better understanding of the game and of what you want from the tech. That said, if you do want to evolve it, it will need an evolving cost. It should look like this. I've bolded the edit below. Smoke Release: Smoke Slam Technique II Type: Ninjutsu [Smoke] Rank: Chuunin Cost: 40 Chakra Damage: 50 Description: This is a straightforward attack. The user takes a deep inhale and their chest expands past the capacity of a normal human. Upon the exhale, chakra infused smoke comes out of their mouth and takes the shape of a large fist as it slams into the opponent. Points: 2 [Evolving; 1 : Smoke Release: Smoke Slam Technique] Smoke Barrage: Just some quick formatting changes. I've bolded them below. Smoke Release: Smoke Barrage Type: Ninjutsu [Smoke] Rank: Genin Cost: 30 Chakra Damage: 10 Per Strike Effects: This technique has three (3) strikes. Description: Smoke pours out of the user’s palm and forms three (3) shuriken that fly toward a single opponent. Points: 2 If you have any questions about my feedback, feel free to DM me and we can talk through them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhyno906254 Posted February 27, 2023 Author Share Posted February 27, 2023 Thanks for the feedback! I've cleaned up the Smoke Barrage as suggested and removed the Smoke Slam II. That was mostly getting a little ambitious and thinking ahead to Chuunin levels haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tw33dle Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almondsAndRain Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 Hi! Welcome (back) to Ninja Academy! Approved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
