Mist Techniques I

[SamuraiBebop]

Name:  Kokoro no kiri no Jutsu (Mind Fog Skill) (Level 1)
Type: Genjutsu (Personal, Water)
Rank: Gennin
Cost: 30 (+40) Chakra
Damage: n/a
Effects: Target has 'Impaired Eyesight' for 2 turns. If the user wants, they can bring fear into the heart of target using his technique paying 40 extra chakra. If this is done, the target is also 'Afraid' for 2 turns. An enemy cannot be affected more than twice by this 'Afraid' effect in one battle.  
Description: Those targeted with this skill see a mist roll across their view, obscuring their vision and making it harder for them to hit their targets. The mist can also become frightening if the user bends their chakra in a way that makes them afraid as well to further hinder the target.
Points: 4

 

Name:  Kiri kōgeki (Level 1)
Type: Genjutsu (Personal, Water)
Rank: Gennin
Cost: 40 Chakra
Damage: 40 Ghost Damage
Effects: N/A
Description: The target of the attack sees a puff of mist creep up from seemingly no where and form into a small blade that strikes them.
Points: 2

 

(Not sure if this second one is legal, any advice on it would be wonderful)

Edited April 3, 2013 by SamuraiBebop

[PN-Soul]

for the effect, rather than just saying it is the same as kirigakure no jutsu fully write out the effect i.e.

 

Effect: creates the illusion that the terrain effect 'Mist' has been added to the battlefield for three turns. Only the target suffers the Mist terrain penalty of -10% accuracy while this jutsu is active.

 

also since this only affects one target the cost will drop down to 45, because youre essentially just giving the effect 'impaired eyesight' 

 

Impaired Eyesight: Accuracy dropped by 10%, any technique/skill/bloodline that specifically uses the eyes must pay twice the cost (stamina/chakra) to use it. If the said tech/skill/bloodline does not have a cost it cannot be used. 
Max Duration: 3 turns 
DP: 15/turn

 

 

Also, please remove the coding from the sheet >.< that was an old sheet when coding automatically was applied.

Edited April 2, 2013 by PN-Soul

[PandaMattMatt]

For the second on, you are fine putting on conditional damage, but you have to pay for it. So it would cost 60 chakra. 20 damage at gennin level is 20 chakra, which, on top of the base 40 costs 60

Edited April 2, 2013 by PandaMattMatt

[SamuraiBebop]

PN-Soul: I was thinking of having it being able to target more than one person, more or less like kirigakure no jutsu, but instead able to specifically target who it effects. 

Panda: would it cost 60 all the time? Or could I give it the conditional cost (meaning when the damage is 60, it costs 60, but when it is 40, it costs 40)?

[PN-Soul]

are you implying that teammates would not be effected or just that you wouldnt? if its just not you then this woul be exactly the same as kirigakure, kirigakure doesnt effect the user. if you wanted any allies t have immunity to it it would be different and im not sure how you would price it

[SamuraiBebop]

Well, I had a new idea for it, so I changed it a bit. I can see how the other way would be a bit confusing, plus I like this new idea better. 

[PN-Soul]

i think the first one looks fine just make the cost " Cost: 45 (+40)

 

and the second one should say 40 ghost damage

Edited April 3, 2013 by PN-Soul

[SamuraiBebop]

There we go, edited

[Maelstrom]

Name:  Kokoro no kiri no Jutsu (Mind Fog Skill) (Level 1)

Type: Genjutsu (Personal, Water)

Rank: Gennin

Cost: 45 (+40)

Damage: n/a

Effects: Target has 'Impaired Eyesight' for 3 turns. If the user wants, they can bring fear into the heart of target using his technique paying 40 extra chakra. If this is done, the target is also 'Afraid' for 2 turns. 

Description: Those targeted with this skill see a mist roll across their view, obscuring their vision and making it harder for them to hit their targets. The mist can also become frightening if the user bends their chakra in a way that makes them afraid as well to further hinder the target.

Points: 4

 

Gennin techniques may not exceed 80 DP. You have a total of 85 with the additional two turns of 'Afraid'. Also, you may want to mention the 'two uses per enemy' limit set for that same status effect.

 

Name:  Kiri kōgeki (Level 1)

Type: Genjutsu (Personal, Water)

Rank: Gennin

Cost: 40

Damage: 40 Ghost Damage

Effects: N/A

Description: The target of the attack sees a puff of mist creep up from seemingly no where and form into a small blade that strikes them.

Points: 2

 

(Not sure if this second one is legal, any advice on it would be wonderful)

 

This one seems fine.

 

Edit: Oh, and add the word 'Chakra' to the cost of each technique. Minor detail, but I'm picky. ^^

Edited April 3, 2013 by Maelstrom

[SamuraiBebop]

Righto, edited

[Maelstrom]

Not sure if this even means anything anymore, but...

 

APPROVED

[Cellar Door]

I'll put my approval down, but while Mael's advice is always worth following, you'll have to wait for one more app. (Senior Advisors can't legally app anything, but it's a good sign if they do.)

[Major]

Approved