Lecherous Abyss 2.0

[tygerin]

 

Akazonae

Description: From the ancestor of origin, Yoroi Akado, this bloodline was granted to his descendants. Literally meaning 'To be armed with red', it was a play on the name of Akado meaning 'Red Body' or basically, armor. The recipient of this bloodline has the genetic mutation which allows them to metabolize chakra and spiritual essence into their bodies from animate targets and vessels holding essence. From birth, the recipient has little control over it, making physical contact with others dangerous to them, but as they grow into it, they are able to shut of that aspect, as well as use it in different ways. As they receive the energies from their prey, they are able to use this energy for their own jutsu, or even physical modification.

Requirements: Must be taken upon character creation.

Effect: The bloodline holder is able to use techniques that absorb Chakra & Stamina. All absorbed damage is unmodified. The bloodline holder has a special tank stat called [Essence]. The maximum value of [Essence] is 70% of the bloodline holder’s total Chakra + Stamina. At the start of battle, [Essence] begins at 0 and builds as the ninja absorbs [Chakra] or [stamina] at a 1:1 ratio.

Cost: -2 SP

 

 

Red Palm Abyss

Description: The Akazonae’s touch is poison to a chakra circulatory system, draining the pure essence out of beings and creating a feeling as if their life force itself is being sapped.

Effect: All successful physical attacks from the bloodline holder absorb 20x Chakra or Stamina from the opponent, where ‘x’ is equal to their ninja rank. The bloodline holder chooses Chakra or Stamina to absorb when making their attack. Must involve physical contact with the bloodline holder’s body.

Requirement: Akazonae

Cost: -4 SP

 

 

Red Body Abyss

Description: This mastery of the abyss skill allows the user to metabolize the stamina from close encounters by taijutsu attackers and specialists. They name gained due to the hue of their bodies as contact is made with their target. Through absorption direction into their chakra circulatory system, the user is able to fill their reserves for future uses.

Effect: The bloodline holder is able to gain [Essence] whenever they are hit by an attack. When hit by a physical attack the bloodline holder gains 50% of the damage prevented by their Defense stat as [Essence]. When hit by a non-physical attack, the bloodline holder gains 50% of the ghost damage taken as [Essence].

Requirement: Akazonae

Cost: -3 SP

 

 

 

 

Essence Amplification

Description: The ninja after gaining the essence from its prey, is able to use the energy towards his benefit in a number of ways. This would include increasing the damage which they are able to normally produce within a standard technique.

Effect: The bloodline holder is able to spend [Essence] as a Setup Phase action in order to enhance the damage of the next technique used in the following Main Phase in accordance to the ranks below.

- Rank 1: The bloodline holder may spend 4 [Essence] to increase total damage by 5, maximum of 40 [Essence].

- Rank 2: The bloodline holder may spend 2 [Essence] to increase total damage by 3, maximum of 60 [Essence].

- Rank 3: The bloodline holder may spend 1 [Essence] to increase total damage by 2, maximum of 100 [Essence].

- Rank 4: The bloodline holder may spend 1 [Essence] to increase total damage by 2, maximum of 140 [Essence].

Requirements: Akazonae. Ranks may only be taken every 30 levels, starting at level 0.

Cost: -1 SP

 

 

Essence Stalking

Description: The ninja is able to channel the essence of their prey, bolstering their own muscles and chakra systems for a short time to give them a needed boost to gain the predatory edge.

Effect: The bloodline holder may spend [Essence] as a Setup Phase action to enhance their Speed, Evasion, Ninjutsu or Taijutsu for three turns. This skill may not be activated if the bloodline holder is already benefitting from this skill.

- Rank 1: May spend 40x [Essence] to increase chosen stat(s) by increments of 40, x may not exceed 2.

- Rank 2: May spend 40x [Essence] to increase chosen stat(s) by increments of 60, x may not exceed 3.

- Rank 3: May spend 40x [Essence] to increase chosen stat(s) by increments of 80, x may not exceed 4.

- Rank 4: May spend 40x [Essence] to increase chosen stat(s) by increments of 100, x may not exceed 6.

Requirement: Essence Amplification. Ranks may only be taken every 30 levels, starting at level 0.

Cost: -2 SP

 

 

Prey’s Shadow

Description: The ninja with the ability of Akazonae has the ability to track the unique essence signature of its prey; at times predicting their movements based on their energy outputs within their vessel.

Effect: Characters with this skill have a 5% chance per rank in this skill to negate the damage and effects of an unresolved Ninjutsu or Genjutsu technique targeting them. This is a triggered effect that occurs before any Dodge rolls.

Restrictions: May not be taken with Aura Perception; Premonition
Ranks: 4

Cost: -1 SP

Edited September 27, 2016 by tygerin

[tygerin]

Original Bloodline 

[cntrstrk14]

I am unable to approve this because I helped create it, so please don't wait for me to review

[dowhatnow]

Akazonae - This seems fine to me.

Red Palm Abyss - Also fine.

Red Body Abyss - This one makes me worry. I wonder if 50% isn't too steep for passive absorption.

Essence Amplification - This seems powerful, but the "every 30 levels" clause helps rein that in a bit, and gives the character something to look forward to at higher levels. My only question on this one is: do the maximums refer to [Essence] spent or total damage?

Essence Stalking - I don't like that this doesn't have ranks like we're used to seeing. That said, I'm a little skeptical, but this should be okay since it relies on Essence Amplification to determine its rank. It seems like there should be some kind of usage limitation on this too, seeing as you're able to modify four different stats with it. [it does, by only allowing one at a time to be modified]

Prey’s Shadow - It fits, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with this.

When targeted with an offensive Chakra-based attack, the user of this may roll 1d20. If they roll x or below, they may dodge the attack. This is done before a dodge roll. The value of x is equal to the rank in this skill obtained. Only attainable through 'Path of the Sensor'.

Requirements: Path of the Sensor; Premonish Ken

Fine, yes, it's for flavor, but you're breaking rules by acquiring it. IMO, you're just as likely to succeed this roll regardless of skill point expenditure (blame our die roller), so there's a definite need for extra justification for giving a supplementary dodge roll when normally, there wouldn't be one. That, or some kind of downside to using it.

Edited September 16, 2016 by dowhatnow

[tygerin]

Red Body Abyss: Not actually, it is only based off of what is actually covered by the ninja's defense stat... so its not as if they are receiving half of the damage straight from the attack. 

 

EA: that would be essence spent

[PandaMattMatt]

First of all, Preys Shadow makes sense, but feels incredibly tacked on. It doesn't have the same cohesion the rest of the bloodline has. That being said; Rather than cherry pick from Sensor, I prefer the last skill allow any base path skill to lead into sensor as an advanced path.

It accomplishes something similar with the same flavor. And if that isn't something you want to do, that's cool, but I second dowhatnow's stance on Preys Shadow.

[Cellar Door]

One branch of the Rinnegan does exactly the same thing as Aura Perception: Premonition, but it doesn't require a path, and a person with the path could still actually purchase Premonition.

Granted, the Rinnegan actually doesn't offer as many benefits as this bloodline if you look at its Hereditary branch. It's certainly not as cohesive anyway. But all the skill in this bloodline does is allow the other person to purchase the Premonition as if they had Sensor. So essentially what they're paying 1 SP for is 33% of the value of Path of the Sensor itself, since you get a base effect, and 2 Mastery effects.

Conclusion; Prey's Shadow is pretty clean and on the up and up. I haven't looked at the rest of the bloodline, but I wanted to drop in and put some perspective on that skill in particular since it seemed like a point of contention with reviewers. It's a strong passive to be sure, but he's paying 5 SP for it same as a Sensor would, and since it occupies part of his bloodline, the cost can also be factored into the cost of the bloodline as a whole.

(Also, after looking at this a little bit more the skill Red Palm Abyss should cost around 5. If I were to break that down into a ranked skill it'd be like 1, 1, 1, 2 as far as value goes.)

[tygerin]

Edited: 

 

Cost of Red Body Abyss to -5

[PandaMattMatt]

I think my personal concern with Prey's Shadow isn't whether it's unfair or shady. Only that it bypasses a rather crucial aspect of our game.

Accessing something that's locked behind a path skill, but without the path is what gets me. Paths give access to rather powerful abilities because you have to chose to dedicate to those abilities. While Aura Perception; Premonition as a skill is still being paid for the same as anything, it isn't being "dedicated". By allowing this bloodline to take Premonition without the path, it utterly destroys Sensor's value. 

Sensor has this awesome little niche that no one else can really touch, unlike some paths that feel like the same pizza with different toppings, Sensor is a whole different bird. (Hungry, excuse the food analogies)

So, like I suggested above, I think that Prey's Shadow would do better allowing any Base Path to become a Sensor as an advanced path. 

[Cellar Door]

The stuff behind paths gets touched all the time. Buying Ninjutsu Mastery for 2 for 1 is an aspect of Path of the Shaman, but is the fundamental part of lots of elemental bloodlines. Eight Gates allows multiple dodges in much the same way that Path of the Assassin does. Sage Mode gives the user Aura Preception; Chakra/Stamina while its active. Paths aren't as sacred as they seem when only a small piece of their design space is being appropriated.

Your offer isn't unreasonable... but it feels lame as a branch of a bloodline. If the fact that he's using a skill from Sensor is the issue, then I suggest a generic rebranding.

'Effect: Characters with this skill have a 5% chance per rank in this skill to negate the damage and effects of an unresolved Ninjutsu or Genjutsu technique targeting them. This is a triggered effect that occurs before any Dodge rolls.

Ranks: 4'

If you make this -1 a rank, then you're saving yourself 1 SP in the long run from your original thing anyway.

[PandaMattMatt]

You know, that's not a bad idea, but you know what would make it really cool and unique to the Akazonae? Make something like giving a 6x% Chance to Dodge incoming Ninjutsu and Genjutsu techniques, but only from targets the Akazonae have successfully absorbed from.

 

It makes it a slight bit more powerful than Sensor, triggers the same way, but also re-enforces everything the Akazonae are. It also puts a distinct separation from Sensor's Premonition.

Edited September 19, 2016 by PandaMattMatt

[tygerin]

How about 5 ranks of KCs idea, to keep the 25% then

[Cellar Door]

Premonition is only 4 out of 20, which is 20%.

[tygerin]

Don't know what I was looking at..

 

 

Fixed either way

[Cellar Door]

Discussed pricing over Skype.

[Hardcore Skittlez]

I'm a little concerned about Essence having such a large pool while also being able to boost stats somewhat significantly as a setup phase non-advanced system, but as I've thought about it more, I've realized that this is more or less a chakra "expansion" not unlike Mokuton, with the caveat that you have to fill it up to use it- like the Sensukai's Static, though it can only be used in these specific ways. Though the concern remains, I think that banking on landing hits and devoting time to ramping it up is the key to balancing this, so I think I'm okay with it.

 

That being said, I have a few things that need to be addressed.

 

Essence Amplification

• When you say "Maximum of 140", do you mean maximum of 140 extra damage-- or maximum of 140 essence spent? 

• I would recommend writing it so that it reads: "The bloodline holder may spend 4x [Essence] to increase the total damage by 5x, to a maximum of 40 (Essence spent or Damage added.)" It's nitpicky, I admit, but adding the variable makes it clear that you can spend as much as you want up to the cap rather than just letting you spend... 4 to add 5 damage only once and being done with it.

 

Essence Stalking

• The phrasing is just a little peculiar here. There's nothing technically wrong with this, so you can take this suggestion or leave it. My suggestion would be to change "maximum 6" to "... , x may not exceed 6." or something to that effect. Again, this is just reviewer phrasing preference, so you can change it or leave it at your discretion.

 

Prey's Shadow

• Add a restriction that states that it cannot be taken with the Path of the Sensor skill that does the same thing. If this were an advanced system, I'd let that slide by, but I think that doubling up might be too much.

[tygerin]

Edited with changes advised

[Hardcore Skittlez]

Approved

 

Moving since the only changes were wording and nothing mechanical.