Mizushin (9.0 Edition)

[Warr]

 

 

The bloodline of the Umikoi clan is not a singular trait but rather a collection of multiple little evolutions caused by their genetics. The fact that it is not a singular attribute that causes an awakening of a vestigial organ as is true of many other clans, is generally unknown outside of the membership of the Umikoi Clan's 'elder caste'. The bloodline is one that makes the Umikoi among the most formidable warriors, assassins, and guardsmen around, especially if bodies of water are nearby because unlike their fellow water breathers the Hoshigaki, those Umikoi with their Mizushin awakened, can actually sense movement against water's molecules like it was a sixth sense.

 

The true evolutionary traits which make the Umikoi Clan different of the bloodline's evolutions are a pair inborn features. The first being a dual respiratory system which filters oxygen from water and function exactly as gills would, complete with gill like growths behind one's ears. The second is an inbuilt chakra passageway [or perhaps a type of chakra that's different in itself] that flows over the normally unused portions of one's brain and that allows for hydrokinesis and the movement of water molecules as if they were extra limbs.

    

The portion of the Umikoi's brain which controls hydrokinesis is near their emotive center of their brain, and as such causes the eyes [almost universally a tint of blue or somewhat blue tinted] of the Umikoi Clansmen and Clanswomen who use the kekkei genkei to visually appear to be a maelstrom of blue tints while the bloodline is activated.

 

Their hydrokinesis extends beyond simply an ability to control water with their mind, and functions more as if the water was an extension of their own body and senses, providing them with an ability to feel and sense water psychically when the bloodline is activated, in addition to being able to use it as an extra limb. It is the portion of their hydrokinesis that provides them preternatural senses when it comes to bodies of water (even other people) that provides them with an instinctive ability to knowing where to throw their body to block an attack when one is coming, and so they can defend against strikes from their opponents by knowing where their opponents are.

 

Their many tint shifting blue eyes are the primary marker of their bloodline's activation, but while not a universal fact; many Umikoi seem more monstrous while it activated, with their canines growing and sharpening [as the rank the user has in the clan's bloodline progresses], and a slight midnight blue discoloration appears somewhere upon the left side of their head, growing visible while the bloodline is active until while the Kaijin rank of Mizushin is active, a stylized spiral wave appears across the whole of the left side of their face; in a tint similar to the warpaint created from the plant 'Woad'.

 

The Mizushin bloodline has never been transferred by traditional means; and this means that the eyes of Umikoi clansmen are at times taken as spoils of war [for there is a superstitious thought that the Umikoi kekkei genkei is actually as eye based technique]. This comes all-too-often from the hands of Kirigakure no Sato's own people; for the manipulation of water and bodies of water as if they were an extension of one's self is something guessed at, and highly coveted.

 

Umi no Kouin | 海の後胤 | Scion of the Sea

(Passive Bloodline Skill)

Effects: The possessor of this skill is now immune to the status effect 'choking' cause by techniques of the water element. Additionally, the user may purchase 2 ranks of ninjutsu mastery (water) for 1 SP. This skill is not effected by 'Many Colors of the Sea'.

Description: The absolute mark of all those who can be called biological members of the Umikoi clan, this aspect of the kekkei genkei begins within while in the womb. While gestating a secondary lung system develops. Not simply an additional pair of air breathing lungs, this system is one which filters oxygen from water and has a separate wind pipe which gains water through slight and typically barely visible gill slit behind one's ear and which filters the post-deoxygenizated water into the user's bladder or sweat glands.

Restriction: Members of the Umikoi Clan must take this skill at character creation. If the user does not have the skill points to take it at creation, they may take it 'locked' and pay for the SP when it is 'unlocked'. 

Cost: -1

 

Suidoteki | 水動的 | Hydrokinetic

(Passive Bloodline Skill)

Effects: The user of this skill may use Water type seallessly without any additional cost, and without the technique requiring the ‘sealless’ tag. This skill is modified by any instances of the user's skill ‘The Many Colors of the Sea’ when there is a level of Mizushin is active.

Roleplay Effects: The user may role play moving water and molecules of water, as well as water chakra, as if it was an extension of their body, and may utilize this role play trait for any element that is given the benefits of Mizushin via “Many Colors of the Sea”.

Description: Aside from their environmental adaptations to survive in liquid environments, the mastery of sealless water ninjutsu is the next thing that most people think of when they think 'Umikoi abilities', and this is not the result of hard work, but rather the result of a natural ability to perform hydrokinesis and release bursts of water chakra (and water aligned chakra) from their body with a thought, utilizing it and the surrounding water as if they were an extension of their own body and will.

Restriction: All Umikoi clan members must take this skill upon character creation. If the user does not have the skill points to take it at creation, they may take it 'locked' and pay for the SP when it is 'unlocked'.

Cost: -2

 

 

水心| Mizushin (Water Heart)

(Advanced System)

 

 

 

Mizushin | 水心 | Water Heart

(Active Skill)

Activation/Upkeep Chakra Cost: Variable, see effect.

Effects: The user may spend up to 5% of their Total Chakra as a Setup Phase action to activate Mizushin.  While active, they gain YX stats to spend between Ninjutsu and Defense, where Y is 0.8 times the character's level and X is the percentage of their total chakra spent to activate Mizushin. The Upkeep of Mizushin is set at X when it is activated, and is pai at the end of each ubsequent Setup Phase. Ninjutsu gained in this manner can oly be applied to [Water] Techniques.

Restrictions:  All Umikoi clan members must take this skill upon character creation, though they may take it as 'locked', if they don't have the skill points to take it from the beginning, and simply unlock it through role play. This is an advanced system.

Cost: -4 SP

 

Junsui Mizushin | 真水心 | True Water Heart

(Active Skill)

Activation/Upkeep Chakra Cost: Variable, see effect.

Effect: This skill replaces Mizushin, but is considered Mizushin for the purposes of skills. The user may spend up to 5% of their Total Chakra as a Setup Phase action to activate Junsui Mizushin. While active, gains YX stats to spend between Ninjutsu and Defence, where Y is 1.25 times the character's level and X is the percentage of their Total Chakra spent to activate Junsui Mizushin. The upkeep for Junsui Mizushin is set at X when it is activated, and is paid at the end of each subsequent Setup Phase. Ninjutsu gained in this manner can only be applied to [Water] techniques.

 

Once per battle, while Junsui Mizushin is active, you may choose to have any of your [Water] attacks on a single target become a critical hit for 1.5 times its usual total damage.

Requirements: Mizushin 

Restrictions: Advanced regeneration abilities are suspended while this bloodline skill is considered active. This is an advanced system skill.

Cost: -4 SP

 

水心海神 | Kaijin Mizushin | Sea God Water Heart

(Active Skill)

Activation/Upkeep Chakra Cost: Variable, see effect.

Effect:

This skill replaces Junsui Mizushin, but is still considered Mizushin for the purposes of skills. The user may spend up to 5% of their Total Chakra as a Setup Phase action to activate Kaijin Mizushin. While active, gains YX stats to spend between Ninjutsu and Defence, where Y is equal to 2 times the character's level and X is the percentage of their Total Chakra spent to activate Kaijin Mizushin. The upkeep for Kaijin Mizushin is set at X when it is activated, and is paid at the end of each subsequent Setup Phase. Ninjutsu gained in this manner can only be applied to [Water] techniques.

 

Once per battle, while Kaijin Mizushin is active, you may choose to have any of your [Water] attacks on a single target become a critical hit for 1.5 times its usual total damage.

 

Additionally, as a Free Action in the Response Phase while Kaijin Mizushin is active, you may spend 3% of your Total Chakra to increase your Defence by 50% against one unresolved technique that is [Water] or a combinatorial element of up to tier 2 that requires Subtle Elements; Water. This ability may be used a number of times equal to your ninja rank per battle (ie 1 at gennin, 2 at chuunin etc.), but cannot be used against attacks by opponents of a higher rank than you.

Requirements: Junsui Mizushin

Restrictions: Advanced regeneration abilities are suspended while this bloodline skill is considered active. This is an advanced system skill.

Cost: -4SP

 

 

Ooku no Iro no Umi | 多くの色の海 | Many Colors of the Sea

(Mastery Skill)

Effects:When you take a rank in this skill, declare two Combinatorial Elements of tier 2 or lower which require Subtle Elements; Water. All effects of Mizushin, and other bloodline skills which are specifically mentioned affect those elements the same as they do [Water]. 

Description: While the majority of the Umikoi clan with Mizushin can only manipulate water and liquid elements close to water, and it is less common for other elements to be used; it is not impossible. It is simply that the three elements which are most often to be used by an Umikoi with Mizushin activated are the most common elements. The sea has many colors, and an Umikoi with this skill is slowly unlocking the many colors of the sea.

Ranks: 2

Cost: -2 [Per Rank]

Edited June 19, 2019 by Warr

[Warr]

Designer’s Notes: I’ve been told by at least one person that Mizushin ‘does’ too much, and with the fact that many of its contemporary counterparts as far as bloodlines go have been revised and revisited I thought I would think long and hard about what the primary concept of Mizushin was.

 

It is that no matter what other clans do, Umikoi are experts at water manipulation techniques and have a biological edge in the matter, their hydrokinesis. Before they provided static increases in stats to the user, but I thought that did not exactly fit, and I decided to take notes from some other bloodlines and from taijutsu fighting styles.

 

No matter how skilled a user is, they are after all limited by the amount of focus they can put on the field more than anything else and for that reason I was thinking that taking notes as I said from taijutsu fighting styles and a few other bloodlines which added new, clan specific statistics  to the user of that clan’s bloodline.

 

Initially to call the amount of focus a user of Mizushin has over their power ‘concentration charges’ which could be spent as their concentration was split, but I decided that would confuse terminology with the stat. Instead I decided on ‘control charges’.

 

The way this is all built is meant to simulate how the Umikoi bloodline is meant to ‘work’ in my eyes. That is to say that it requires the user to focus and is somewhat of a chakra powered sixth sense when activated, but that it also relies on washing their body with their innate water chakra to hit the correct node of their brain and node of their spiritual body where their hydrokinesis is controlled. Mizushin can do a lot, but is taxing to use unless you invest plenty of time in training and mastering it.

 

That’s why Junsui and Kaijin Mizushin help add new options to what the bloodline can do but more importantly increase your regeneration of ‘control charges’, as you master the later forms of Mizushin, you master the use of your chakra to power the bloodline; cutting down the amount of chakra you need to spend to keep and regain control of the bloodline, and further making you ‘control’ it better, thus increasing the amount of control counters you regenerate per turn with junsui or kaijin mizushin active.

 

           

[Princess]

Umi no Kouin: Abilities which ignore terrains and grant 10% stats cost -2 SP and require 10 posts of chuunin training. I get this is the gate to your bloodline, so I firmly suggest moving that specific clause into its own skill. As is, looking for immunity to both effects and 20% stat increase, you're looking at 10 posts Chuunin training and 3-4SP. That is JUST for the terrain element of this. Then we're capping out at +120 stats on all your jutsu because you'd just never build anything that doesn't trigger this, and selective immunity to choking (though there is a stupid connection between this an colours of the sea I will address later that all but invalidates any meaningful cost reduction, so take the 'selective' with a grain of salt). Then you throw two RP traits in on top, yeah 3 RP traits are worth 1 SP, so 2/3 is worth two thirds of an SP right? Round up son. Overall, I'd say you're looking at 5-6SP and 2 posts of Chuunin Training for this skill as is. I advise your consider revising elements of this skill.

Mizushin: This is not a fighting style, it's a ninjutsu oriented bloodline. You may not bastardise the mechanics for taijutsu styles and then just make them all about ninjutsu, there are very strict design space considerations on the implementation of styles and their relevant mechanics. So this has a hard no from me, I won't outright deny it if you want someone else to consider it, but I can't approve anything after Mizushin as they are all dependent on it and, at its core, it is not approvable in my eyes. Create a unique mechanic if you want, or make it a taijutsu focused bloodline with an inbuilt hybrid style/advanced system. 

Ooku  no Iro no Umi: Yeah the versatility on this is insane. Oh you get sealless on three combinatorials, which is generally the most amount people will likely lean towards, up to gravity? I don't like this, you can just buy sealless for everything and have the same mechanical benefits, only difference is the cost. If it was like a X sp skill where X is the SP cost of the element -1 to a minimum of 1, I could kinda see that working a little better? Sealless is super valuable, it makes you immune to a lot of enemy mechanics and plays. Not to mention it also spreads stat bonuses you're under costing because of how limited they are about, invalidating how they are undercosted. So this also I don't agree with, but I am open to the possibility of this one working with some tweaks and concessions.

[Warr]

Umi no Kouin - I don't entirely agree. Immunity to choking by a singular element will almost never come up and is barely worth half a SP. The thing I struggled with on this skill was to make it a gateway skill that makes sense and which reflects the clan. Can I get quote as to the requirement of skills to requiring chuunin training and the value at 2SP for the immunity? Is it because the 20% speed? If so, I'm fine with making it run in line with the 10% increase. 

 

Because it does do more than main site terrain skill, yes, but it is a bloodline skill. I should roll it down to 10% speed increase and immunity to taijutsu failure chance as far as the effects go, but I saw neither a ruling for  chuunin training requirements in the terrain rules or skill rules when I looked them up. With your math then it should cost 2 skill points, if I remove the ninjutsu increase (which is superflous and was not on the previous version), but keep the terrain effect portion. Given I'm already going to have to get Cellar Door, Cntrstrk, or Azure to look this over based on your stance on the main portion of the blood line, if there is a rule about chuunin terrain requirements in that regard I'm going to ask for it to be considered for exemption given this is a clan of fishers, sailors, mariners, and pirates. Swimming and moving in deep water is part of their whole sthick. 

 

Mizushin: It already does effectively what I want it to do in this, in the current bloodline, but without any loss of momentum. I could easily just keep up the 'offensive mode and defensive mode' set up it has in the current blood line without trying to as you call it 'bastardize' taijutsu styles. I don't have much more to say about this other than the fact it actually makes you be able to do less than the current bloodline does, it just allows for more customization out of it. I'm fine with waiting for someone more senior, like Cellar Door, or Cntrstrk14, or Azure or Wolfnin look it over though if you refuse to even consider looking at it.  

 

Many Colors of the Sea: It has always been meant to cap at combinatorials which require 3 subtle elements combined,  so I don't know where you are getting gravity being sealless this from this. I'm willing to put further limiters on this and make it limited to specific elements and/or elements up to 2 combined elements, and cap out at 2 ranks if you -really- have an issue with it but I don't appreciate the accusations you've been leveling so far with what you review of my stuff. Just because current era players specialize in one element doesn't mean my character does, and immunity to shackled when using water or water derivitive elements is not making me immune to everything. Warrusu has fire, lightning, and other techniques.

 

So with limitations it will allow: Boil, Steam, Snow, and Ice to be modified by Mizushin. In the current version of the skill, it automatically gives access to steam given it is still hydrogen molecules, but this is me actually trying to make it again, more 'down to earth and focused' but I do think that being able to manipulate all states of water with the bloodline should be possible, the Umikoi's whole gimmick is that they are Masters of Water. Especially when you consider as current cost this would be paying the 5SP that let you have sealless for all ninjutsu, just to have it for specific elements of ninjutsu. 

 

Edited June 14, 2019 by Warr

[Peregine]

Scion of the Sea: The Main Site skill Talented is +3 trait points for 1SP. Given that benchmark, I think you would be better served dropping the Trait bonuses or adding a third to bring it to parity with the existing skill. Cntr's post here covers terrain immunity skills, including training requirements. Personally, as this is not the core aspect of the bloodline, I do not believe it warrants an exemption to a training requirement. Especially since training requirements are the easiest part to fulfil. Also, all main site terrain immunity skills require Chuunin or jonin training. In regards to the conditional status immunity, that's not something that you'll receive for free. 

 

Hydrokinetic: I understand that Sealless is where you want the bloodline's core to be. Currently, existing clan/element-specific seal-less skills that exist (here) cost 2SP, are gated being lv50 and require significant Jonin training. Given that you want this to be the key feature of the bloodline, I can see dropping the training and the level restriction, or negotiating other cost reductions. I do not believe it is approvable at 1SP with no other requirements. 

 

Mizushin: I agree with Princess that a ninjutsu bloodline should not utilise charges like Taijutsu. Spitballing, but there might be a way to spike upkeep costs for the same result? I would rather not see a ninjutsu mechanic with charges. It infringes on Taijutsu's design space and it's a bad precedent to set for future bloodline submissions.

 

Many Colours of the Sea: This is a purely horizontal power increase. It doesn't build up, it builds across. As a result, each element you acquire with this skill should cost the same as Hydrokinetic. That said, as noted above Sealless is where you want this bloodline to shine. So, I can see some form of cost reduction existing for this as well. As for the comparison to Seal-less Jutsu, Seal-Less Jutsu also has a heavy cost in EXP that you aren't matching.

 

As for the commentary that Warrusu has other elemental techniques; I'm sorry to be blunt but that's irrelevant. We don't balance submissions in regards to existing PC's, we have to balance for extreme cases. It doesn't matter what Warrusu can or can't do, or how his build works or doesn't work.

 

In the end, my main concern is how many things Mizushin does. The most I'm aware of a bloodline doing in current NA meta is 3 active abilities (to use Koton as an example). Mizushin currently does 6 (terrain immunity, status immunity, Ninjutsu boosting, damage reduction, block increasing and sealless). That will dilute your focus too widely to be as effective as you want to be. I think you have a stronger case if you remove some aspects of the bloodline. 

 

On a personal note, and I say this without any intention of provoking conflict, I think you're taking Princess' feedback too lightly. He's a moderator with significant experience and the site admins have unanimously agreed to promote him to represent both them and the site's interests. Disregarding his opinions in favour of kicking it up the chain, so to speak, is akin to declaring that you believe he's not deserving of the authority he's been given and that Cntr, Cellar Door and Azure have made a mistake promoting him.

[Warr]

To the last comment; I would rather keep personal notes out of it because in the time I have been back I have had Princess imply I had gamebreaking and cheating planned in the only two creations I have had reviewed. I did my time in staff as well and despite that have been talked down to and insulted if you take things personally. 

 

Back to the topic at hand: The Koton bloodline you linked sure seems passive, not active, to me. I see no activation clause nor activation cost and upkeep in it. so it isn't exactly the same and I see 5 abilities not 4.

 

It provides a multiplier to the subtle elements effects of 2 different subtle elements when using steel. That is 2 different things it can do as it is an either or like the charges here are or the current defensive or offensive mode of Mizushin is.

 

Then the free access to Combinatorial Steel is a third thing it does and increasing defense of shields made by it is a 4th. Then there is the covert increase of ninjutsu damage by allowing you to take ninjutsu mastery; steel at a 2 ranks for 1 skill point price.

 

That is 5 abilities and for that matter adds more damage potential than Mizushin does, without an activation cost. For the record Doton with the ninjutsu mastery bit provides: 200 extra damage to every steel attack at cap, without an activation cost, for 6 total SP.

 

Given that you guys are using a non-bloodline related, posting by Cntr on forum but not in announcement as precedent that a bloodline should require it too for a speed boost in certain terrain I will just drop the effect. So thay's 5 things it does, same as Doton. And that is with a dang activation clause. 

 

Meanwhile, Mizushin in this form at cap requires an activation, turning off advanced regeneration skills, and in the process provides at max 10x (for the 10 maximum charges you can have) modifier to the stat, that is a 1200 boost to ninjutsu, or 300 extra damage, and that is IF you have 2400 ninjutsu already because you can't boost ninjutsu more than 1.5x. 

 

As far as sealless goes, I looked up the skill. 1000 XP lost without losing a level is the equivalent of a 4,000 word training post, and your aburame one has a 3k word training post requirement. Not really that bad of a restriction on entry, tbh. But, I think the argument that costing it more than Sealless (as you are now telling me even for basic water it is too cheap thus making the total cost 6), while doing less, is valid when it comes to arguing adding elements to it and it not requiring training. Not to mention the fact that in both sealless and your case it specifically leaves room for genjutsu to be sealless as well. As far as I know genjutsu now do not feature elemental typing, anymore right?

 

That said please dead this because now that I compare it, this isn't doing nearly what I want it to do and I probably need to go back to the drawing board mechanically as well as make it more like the current bloodline. 

 

Scion of the Sea: I will drop the trait bonuses entirely I think, and the terrain effect too. But when I do, I am left with a gateway skill that is in no way worth 1SP (Very conditional immunity to one status effect). It is important for roleplay but I am not trying to waste SP. So going to try for a bundle of the choking immunity to water techniques and a 2 ranks of ninjutsu mastery; water for 1 SP discount set up to make the skill a 1SP one. If gaining a combinatorial element and getting the discount costs 1SP for other skills figure it should be the same here for the partial immunity, especially given there is only 1 technique that does choking that is water type from the main site, and only 3 if you count Tw33dle and Cntr's.

 

 

Edited June 14, 2019 by Warr

[cntrstrk14]

Moved back by request!

[Princess]

Alright, positive steps! Main thing I want to see here though, it seems like your formatting is just a few editions behind. Best advice I can give? Go look at the Byakugan or Sharingan as advanced systems. KC has kinda smashed the layout for advanced systems out of the park in those, and I believe Mizushin could use an update to match that as the norm where it could. Put your non-AS skills (I'll explain that in a sec) up the top or down the bottom depending on if they're mandatory for the taking of Mizushin proper or not. Also as a general note, we don't label things as 'active' and 'passive' skills these days, that distinction can be inferred by the effects of the skill. Now on to balance!

 

Umi no  Kouin: The actual effect I think is fine now. The 2 for 1 on water is standard fare for elemental bloodlines, which at its core Mizushin more or less is (elemental bloodlines is a specific subset of bloodlines like Bakuton or Kouton that revolve solely around the element, I ain't saying this doesn't do an element, just it isn't what we class as an 'elemental bloodline') so I am okay allowing it here, especially since it doesn't stack up with many colours of the sea which given the 2 for 1 I couldn't approve. As is though, yeah that's fine. One note, and I will say this a lot. This skill isn't an advanced system. Mizushin is, this is a passive bloodline ability. Please remove 'this is an advanced system'. From pretty much everything. Literally everything even if you go with the above formatting examples I suggested. 

 

Suidoteki: So, the question is, is this something you can always do or something you can only do while Mizushin is active? If not, it's not an advanced system ditch that. It reads in general like it's meant to be a constant power, hence the need to clarify it is modified by many colours as, as worded, many colours only applies to the actual advanced system of Mizushin, which this really isn't part of if it's always active. The effect itself is fine.

 

Mizushin: So this is your actual advanced system. You have the nifty heading for Mizushin at the top of the page, and really all these three Mizushin skills, that only do stuff while active, they are the advanced system. That said, the effect needs a rewrite to clarify a few things, excuse my Australian spelling on defence it just...pains me to use an s.

Quote

The user may spend up to 5% of their Total Chakra as a Setup Phase action to activate Mizushin. While active, gains YX stats to spend between Ninjutsu and Defence, where Y is 0.8 times the character's level and X is the percentage of their Total Chakra spent to activate Mizushin. The upkeep for Mizushin is set at X when it is activated, and is paid at the end of each subsequent Setup Phase. Ninjutsu gained in this manner can only be applied to [Water] techniques.

So what have I done? Pretty much just clarified it into an actual advanced system. Setup Phase to activate, spend up to 5% total chakra, set that chakra as the upkeep for subsequent turns, then get a pool of points to spend between ninjutsu and defence. Wording it this way avoids that awkward 'get ninjutsu for water techniques' because, that's not how it works. This way, you get the flat bonus to ninjutsu, but you can only apply it to water techniques, which is mechanically what you want but worded more mechanically clearly. 

 

Junsui Mizushin: Pretty much same issue as above, needs a reformat. Then, rather than 1.5 times base damage, maybe would you considering taking the wording from strategist and making it autocrit instead of just +50% base damage? Main concern there? Is you can go 'I up damage to 1.5x its base on a 1,000 damage forbidden. Then I use strategist.' That combination I'm not okay with. Making this essentially be a bloodline exclusive extra rank of strategist I can get behind. So the way I would do this....

Quote

This skill replaces Mizushin, but is considered Mizushin for the purposes of skills. The user may spend up to 5% of their Total Chakra as a Setup Phase action to activate Junsui Mizushin. While active, gains YX stats to spend between Ninjutsu and Defence, where Y is the character's level and X is the percentage of their Total Chakra spent to activate Junsui Mizushin. The upkeep for Junsui Mizushin is set at X when it is activated, and is paid at the end of each subsequent Setup Phase. Ninjutsu gained in this manner can only be applied to [Water] techniques.

 

Once per battle, while Junsui Mizushin is active, you may choose to have any of your [Water] attacks on a single target become a critical hit for 1.5 times its usual total damage.

You're already paying -4 for this, strategist is -3, so you're essentially paying -1 for the slight increase to stats over standard Mizushin and then -3 for the strategist clone. I'm cool with that.

 

Kaijin Mizushin: Same rewrite. Gasp. Increase the cap to 5%, 1200 is well within what a stat granting advanced system can provide, no need to gimp yourself.

Quote

This skill replaces Junsui Mizushin, but is still considered Mizushin for the purposes of skills. The user may spend up to 5% of their Total Chakra as a Setup Phase action to activate Kaijin Mizushin. While active, gains YX stats to spend between Ninjutsu and Defence, where Y is equal to 2 times the character's level and X is the percentage of their Total Chakra spent to activate Kaijin Mizushin. The upkeep for Kaijin Mizushin is set at X when it is activated, and is paid at the end of each subsequent Setup Phase. Ninjutsu gained in this manner can only be applied to [Water] techniques.

 

Once per battle, while Kaijin Mizushin is active, you may choose to have any of your [Water] attacks on a single target become a critical hit for 1.5 times its usual total damage.

 

Additionally, as a Free Action in the Response Phase while Kaijin Mizushin is active, you may spend 3% of your Total Chakra to increase your Defence by 50% against one unresolved technique that is [Water] or a combinatorial element of up to tier 2 that requires Subtle Elements; Water. This ability may be used a number of times equal to your ninja rank per battle (ie 1 at gennin, 2 at chuunin ect.), but cannot be used against attacks by opponents of a higher rank than you. 

I actually am not too worried about this stacking with items that increase defence against specific elements, for a couple of reasons. First, its limited per battle. Secondly, of all the statistics in the game, there is one which has no cap to how high it can be increased, and that is defence. So who cares if you get super defence vs a specific set of elements a few times per battle by sacrificing chakra. I sure don't. The gain is worth a lot more than 3%, I might chat with some other staff and see if they think this needs to go up to 5% which I'm hovering at, but we can leave it as is for now and see where it goes.

 

For all three of these Mizushin skills, there's no reason to go backwards, so may as well have them override each other, it doesn't refund the SP, but you'd never use them so it's just neater I find. They should all retain the previous version and knock off advanced regeneration.

 

Mizushin; Tonamishin: So sitting at block cap costs me 150 health every 3 turns for 6SP (more or less) on my bloodline, and I can't imagine you'll get a far better deal than that. My big concern with putting this on stamina at a percent lower than what you regenerate is, in a pure ninjutsu build, this is free. That's not gonna fly. At least this should be 5% so you're cutting off your stamina regen entirely, there's a case to push it up to 7.5% or something so that it degrades past equilibrium to stop potential cheese from happening there, but I'm willing to take 5% as fair game. It should be worded similar to the advanced system skills above, should have a 5% activation cost and increase the upkeep of Mizushin by 5% of your total stamina each turn. Since the edits I made to each rank of Mizushin are considered Mizushin for all skills, you just need to name Mizushin here and it sorts itself out. Also they don't have ranks now, so the whole end clause of this should go.

 

Ooku no Iro no Umi: This isn't a passive/add-on skill, this is what we call a 'Mastery Skill', elements which modify the bloodline to demonstrate specific paths the bloodline taker travels. With the restrictions since its original creation (Lowering cap to tier 2, lowering gains per rank to -2) I can more readily get behind this. The wording could do with a bit of a clean up though this is exactly the kind of skill I heinously over write, so take this with a touch of salt.

Quote

When you take a rank in this skill, declare two Combinatorial Elements of tier 2 or lower which require Subtle Elements; Water. All effects of Mizushin affect those elements the same as they do [Water].

Overall, this still doesn't address Peregine and others' concerns this does too much, and honestly with the defence boosts you're sitting on it'd be the block range I suggest you nix. If you drop Tonamishin, you have a much tighter, more concise bloodline which doesn't step in too many areas as people are concerned. You may still disagree there, but I think that's the best way forward. If you make the above suggestions and drop Tonamishin, I think this is pretty much ready to stamp.

[Warr]

Tonamishin; I am fine with removing it. It only got added because it was technically a bloodline requiring skill and was keyed off of Mizushin being active and the rules required it to be presented in the bloodline. I can always rework it into a different skill that requires path of the guardian to get ahold of.

 

As far as the 3% or 5% cost for the defense increase. I will keep it at 3% for now if you don't insist on it, just because 2% is a considerable amount in a battle and definitely matters.

 

As far as the reformatting goes , this is probably the best I can do for the moment. I am running off of an android tablet and bluetooth keyboard at the moment because my actual laptop busted and we can't find Emery's laptop power supply so I could use that. I moved the heading however.

Edited June 19, 2019 by Warr

[Princess]

It's clear enough, you met my requests, approved. And for clarity's sake if you do get laptop access and reformat, as long as mechanically everything remains the same, my approval stands.

[almondsAndRain]

As I mentioned via PM, I’m doing some cleaning of the custom forum. I was very close to giving this its second approval, but then I noticed that the AS does not have any level or rank requirements, meaning an Umikoi could just swing in and buy up the ranks fast for an AS that is stronger than the ones that they’d be dealing with around their own level. 

 

To give you an example of what I mean, I’ll compare a level 30 Umikoi to a level 30 Hyuuga. 

The Hyuuga will have two ranks of Byakugan Vision for 3X Accuracy and Evasion, where X is their level, for a total of +90 Accuracy and Evasion, or +180 stats. 

The Umikoi, in comparison, will have XY, where X is 5 (max possible upkeep), and Y is twice their level (60), for +300 distributed between Ninjutsu and Defense as they will. This discrepancy is large and continues until the fourth rank of Byakugan Vision is purchased at level 60. 

 

That said, this bloodline’s core mechanic is cool. The ability to distribute your stats the way it does is unique, and is an interesting take on ASes. If you ever come back and want this returned to custom, feel free to hit me up and I’ll kick it back over.