I Did It For The Lulz.

[dowhatnow]

Hey, NA.

Here's the story: I work as a lifeguard (as some of you already know) at a local pool. Now, within the fence of this pool is a pair of outdoor speakers connected to whichever CD/MP3/whatever player we so desire.

To make matters worse, people there have no diversity in their musical taste portfolios. It seemed like every day I worked, there was at least one CD, which I'd heard in its entirety at least five times a day, if not more, blasting sound waves though the air and contacting the tiny hairs in my cochlea, thereby transmitting the information it was sending out to my brain. There are approximately five of such Demonic CDs.

The songs contained on them are among those no mortal man should be subjected to more than once a day, if not less. These songs included: Lip Gloss, thks fr th mmrs (Thanks for the Memories), and the list goes on, but I don't listen to that kind of crap music (Emo, Pop Punk, Rap, etc.) that often, if at all, so I don't know any of the names of 98% of the others.

Don't get me wrong. I'll listen to a couple, MAYBE a few of songs that hail from these genres in the course of a day. But that's usually only if I work anyway. That or if I'm in a friend's car, and it happens to be playing.

Now, when I decided 'Hey! I'm gonna burn a CD or two of my own and play 'em at work. It'll be a nice release from the mundane and obnoxiously repetitive drivel I listen to every time I step through the doors,' I meant it. I burned a grand total of eight such CDs with this intent.

Here comes the part that I both love and hate about this story: It would inevitably happen that once my CD is played to about the tenth track, it was ejected. WHILE IT WAS STILL PLAYING! Never once have I myself done such a thing. I have more tact and respect for the song that's playing, regardless of whether or not I want to hear something else at that point. Not only that, but they would proceed to put in one of those BS, POS CDs that I just told you about. I would voice my objection and ask for a reason why and get the somewhat stereotypical early-to-mid teenage female response: "Your music sucks," or "Little kids don't need to be listening to this crap," or (my favorite, and in reference to the music burned on the S*^% CDs) "The beat's better."

Point of the story: I got fed up with hearing the same crap over and over, and people not having enough respect to at least wait until a song is finished before ejecting the CD.

First time: I broke one of the aforementioned Compact Discs into at least three pieces. Another copy was burned, and, after a time, scratched beyond repair, also by me. Essentially: FUBAR.

Second time (with pictures!): Today, I put the CD in a small toaster oven we have to cook hot dogs and corndogs. At about 400°F. For about five minutes. This is the result of my efforts:

From these images, we learn some things:

• CDs are made with a type of Thermoplastic, specifically of the Polycarbonate variety.
  
• Green Sharpie™ marks are obviously impervious to such extreme temperatures.
  
• This is my opinion of all the songs contained on this CD and others like it.
  
• This is also my wrath.
  

They flipped. It was as if it was a gigantic part of their lives (similar to God, or a God-like figure) and they had just lost it forever. They even told my boss, who didn't seem to care too much aside from telling me "It's a bit disrespectful" to have done what I did. To this, I responded, "So is ejecting someone else's CD while it's still playing a song."

Retaliatory action: The destruction and similar melting of the two CDs I brought to work.

I could care less. Unless, of course, the songs on theirs were bought from iTunes (which I seriously doubt). Besides, it doesn't take more than 30 minutes and $.25 to make another copy. A fact I've stated several times in the past.

Moral?

Not really. More of an illustration of the point I was trying to make to them before:

DON'T SAY OR DO ANYTHING UNLESS YOU CAN PROVIDE SUBSTANTIAL CAUSE FOR SAYING OR DOING SUCH THINGS!

Maybe now they'll listen, and maybe even make an actual, factual argument against me.

Let's review.

"Your music sucks."

I lol at this one every time I hear it. I never hear any kind of real reason why other than the person who said it doesn't happen to like that particular genre of music, let alone the song. Now, if they were to say something a little more logical as an addendum to this statement, I'd be more inclined to reason with them about why they should keep mine playing. However, this is simply not the case; it's always as quoted above.

"Little kids don't need to be listening to this crap."

This one brings even harder lulz out of me when I hear it because, ironically, I say exactly the same thing about theirs (Bustin' caps in random dude's ass, smackin' random hoes, killin' bitches, gettin' some 'tang, smokin' some dope, swear words in general used in excess, what have you). Strangely, the only reasoning I could obtain from anyone who uttered this phrase was that "It's not something they should be listening to, that's all." Gee, thanks for stating what you just told me.

The song in question was ALWAYS The Duncan Hills Jingle as performed by Dethklok. IT'S A SONG ABOUT COFFEE FOR CHRISSAKE!

Finally, "The beat's better."

WHAT?!

Are these people idiotic? (Yes.) How can one beat be better than another? Isn't it essentially the same thing as with all music, just having a variation upon how fast it progresses? Or am I thinking tempo? Regardless, I didn't even hear a reasonable argument behind this one. I doubt 90% of the people I work with are even slightly musically inclined. (Dancing of any kind doesn't count. Any idiot with a concept of rhythm can at least attempt it.)

Point is that this statement, like the first, is considered invalid if not stated with an addendum of some reasonable sort.

Anyway. Like I said, I got fed up with all the BS excuses I was being handed and summarily took action.

Was this win?

[ Y / N ]

Edited August 6, 2007 by Ransho Kagemaru

[Azure]

Y.

Over 9000 Y.

^

[cntrstrk14]

I lol'ed.

I'm never letting you touch my CD's. Ever.

[Sex]

Yes~

Btw, I lol'd at the "How can one beat be better than the other?" part, with links.

<3<3<3<3

[Hooligan]

+Rep for the Duncan Hills.

[dowhatnow]

Y.

Over 9000 Y.

^

Yes~

Btw, I lol'd at the "How can one beat be better than the other?" part, with links.

<3<3<3<3

+Rep for the Duncan Hills.

Okay, I'll respond in order:

WHAT 9000?!

Why thank you. <3

METAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL! Also: COFFEE!

Now, you:

I'm never letting you touch my CD's. Ever.

But... But... WHY?! I promise I won't destroy them! Besides, we share similar interests when it comes to music, so you're pretty much exempt.

And as an additional bonus, I'll add a track listing (or at least what's printed) on the CD.

• Beautiful Girls
  Umbrella
  Runaway
  Lip Gloss
  Like a Cholo
  Contagious
  Makes Me Wonder
  Potential Breakup Song
  Wall to Wall
  Can't Leave 'em Alone
  Shut up and Drive
  Thks fr th Mmrs
  Like a Boy
  Party Like a Rock Star
  

[r4nd0m]

I hate the lip gloss crap

[Azure]

Party Like a Rock Star

That's the only one I know by name off hand. Real annoying after a while. I mean make a rock song if you want to party like a rock star.

How about a Rcok song- Pimp it like a Gangster. >__________>

[Matthias Drake]

I <3 you RK. I swear to god I've wanted to do this every time the head guard puts in his wretched Immortal Technique cd. Thankfully two of the cashiers happen to have awesome taste in music, so they just put in their CDs as soon as he's not looking.

[Seven]

I've only heard of about... 2 o the songs you listed, and I hate them. I live in LA and everyday, when someone drives by my house, I hear one of those songs. I hate them so much.

[dowhatnow]

Good to hear, dudes. I've got to come up with something a bit more creative next time, though. My options are pretty slim. I mean, I can't freeze them because... well, what point would there be in that? Besides, we don't have a freezer.

Hmm...

Any ideas on how I can end another CD's playable existence? Anyone?

I <3 you RK. I swear to god I've wanted to do this every time the head guard puts in his wretched Immortal Technique cd. Thankfully two of the cashiers happen to have awesome taste in music, so they just put in their CDs as soon as he's not looking.

Immortal Technique? Not familiar with that one. But I take it that it's a good thing.

[Sora Sol]

Play some J-Rock FOR THE WIN!

[Azure]

Scratch the disk. Or maybe you could just put something on the bottom of the disk, like a liquid and then wipe it off making the CD unreadable. Though I totally don't know if that'll work.

[Seven]

Write on the bottom of the disk in marker and then scratch it. Let them know you are not pleased.

[Sora Sol]

Put soap on the bottom and scrub the concrete till it's shiny.

[dowhatnow]

Play some J-Rock FOR THE WIN!

Tried it. Didn't work. It was win, though.

Scratch the disk. Or maybe you could just put something on the bottom of the disk, like a liquid and then wipe it off making the CD unreadable. Though I totally don't know if that'll work.

I did scratch the disk. On the table where we keep our candies and whatnot. it's cheap particle board and after years of use it's got this sort of "ridged" surface which I estimated to be the smoother equivalent of 40 grit sandpaper. But...

!

Industrial-strength cleaning solution! That stuff's nasty.

Write on the bottom of the disk in marker and then scratch it. Let them know you are not pleased.

Can do. One sharpie + one screwdriver + one CD = WIN.

Put soap on the bottom and scrub the concrete till it's shiny.

Hm. I like that.

Anyone else think this was (or wasn't) win? Say so!

Any other ideas?

[Rhapsody]

Just take the CDs and hide them.

[r4nd0m]

Industrial-strength cleaning solution! That stuff's nasty.

lol?

[Sora Sol]

Just take the CDs and hide them.

D'Oh!

[shizuki]

Fail.

[dowhatnow]

Fail.

What was that, old man? Wanna say that to my face?!

No, seriously, what did you mean by that? There's lots of ways you can apply that word here.

[shizuki]

I'm applying it to you.

[r4nd0m]

like lotion?

[dowhatnow]

You're just jealous because you didn't do something similar in your workplace.

[shizuki]

No. It totally failed to amuse me.