Hyōton | Ice Release

[Azure]

Hyōton
Secret Arts of Water

 

 

The Hisame Kekkai Genkai, Hyōton (氷遁) allows them to combine wind and water-based chakra to create ice at a whim and through willpower alone. At its highest level, the ability grants the control over water down to the particle level. Most if not all Hisame are born and blessed with the Hyōton birthright. Their use of ice is unique, in the way that it is even fire resistant to a point, and is almost a different brand of arctic magic than those found in Yukigakure. Using this special ability the Hisame have developed a number of powerful techniques, with their trademark technique, Demonic Mirror Ice Crystals (Makyō Hyō Shō, 魔鏡氷晶) allowing them to surround an opponent with an array of ice mirrors and attack them at an incredible speed. And also Thousand Flying Water Needles of Death (Sensatsu Suishō, 千殺水翔). A good Hisame can find a balance between tactical precision and packing a fair punch. It is their bloodline simply called Hyōton and dubbed Hisame's Secret Arts of Water that has made them among the most sought after Clans on the island Ninja nation. It is also their unique ability that have made them at the mountaintop of Kiri's elite.

 

While not as flashy as some of Kirigakure's Nobel Clan's kekkei genkai, the Hisame birthright is formidable for its elusiveness.  Its strength is not tied to an organ or a mutation, but a deep ancestry that has consistently produced some of the most formidable shinobi.  Not too long ago, Hisame children were murdered in their beds and hunted in order to destroy their bloodline.  The nightmare that Hisame can be cannot be affixed by surgery or sealing.  They will hunt forever.  Many wish to steal the Hyōton to unlock its shadow side, the rare recessive gene that steals the ability to craft chakra entirely.

In the ancient lore, the Hisame believed that four tenshi had bestowed upon them the power of their bloodline. Their came not from a unique organ fueled by chakra, but an innate source of power locked in their blood and available on their whim. As such, the Hisame believed that with each milestone of their power, another blessing of an angel was bestowed upon them. One of the most famous Hisame, Haku was known as the “Child of the Cursed Yuki Clan”, a misnomer, based solely on their ice abilities. To claim they were cursed, well, their skills attest to that.

 

Demonic Ice Crystal Blood
Description: At this level of ability, the Hisame can fully craft their trademark ice and may draw on small traces of water to fuel their water and ice techniques. While having large bodies of water near are beneficial, they are not relied upon as much as other shinobi of the same caliber.  A Hisame is not normally known for their ability to manipulate wind, but it comes as a second nature to them nonetheless.  The Aspect of Yuikionno the Thief was rumored to be the one who combined the stolen wind and won water to create the ice Hisame were renowned for. While he crafted their ice, he ensured that it was of a different breed than normal ice. This ice was more durable against the elements
Effect: Characters with this skill gain the skill 'Combinatorial; Ice' for 0 Skill Points. When purchased at character creation, the skill 'Combinatorial; Ice' replaces their village bonus skill.  If the user owns both 'Subtle Elements: Water' and 'Subtle Elements: Wind' they may choose to apply both to a technique 'Combinatorial; Ice' descriptor. Whenever the user hits an opponent with a technique that has the 'Combinatorial; Ice' descriptor, reduce their Evasion by 40x for one (1) turn, where x is equal to the user's ninja rank.
Requirement: None, may be taken at character creation.
Cost: -3

Eternity of White Frost
Description: At this level of bloodline ability a Hisame may also meld into objects provided that they are of Water or Ice base, though they are still clearly visible at this stage.  This allows the Hisame to make for quick escapes or provide for a necessary breather.  At this level, a Hisame will attempt to cloak themselves in mist before striking, to cover up their exposure.  It has been noted that when a mist mysteriously appears, your life is on borrowed time.  Mujina was the smartest of the Tenshi patrons, who was rumored to win the essence of water from the Sea herself in a gamble. He was the one who forged the Hisame ice colder than typical ice, it was said where Mujina walked, his footsteps were icescapes. He was even able to transfer anything into ice and freeze fire itself still.
Effect:  When the user uses a technique with the Combinatorial; Ice descriptor, they gain x 'Essence of Frost' where x is equal to their rank with a maximum of 3.  Only three Essences of Frost may be gained per turn. The user may apply  1 turn of 'Hypothermia; 1' to any Combinatorial; Ice technique at the cost of 2 Essence of Frost. For an additional Essence of Frost, this may become 1 turn of 'Hypothermia; 2'.   Essence of Frost may not be spent in the same Main Phase Action that created them. 

Requirement: Gennin, level 15.
Cost: -3

Wrath of Cold Sorrow
Description: At this level of bloodline ability a Hisame may meld into objects provided that they are of Water or Ice base, they are still visible while in the object though their image is distorted.  While still relying on additional tactics to hide themselves, a Hisame gains the upper hand by manipulating their own image and that is capable of causing a form of motion sickness and headaches for an untrained eye attempting to follow them.  Any trained Hisame will use their distorted image against their opponents, mostly as scare tactics.  Hisame are known to create and meld into water on a whim now, solidifying mirrors wherever they please.  According to Yokan literature, Zuijin was the brute force of the angels. He was the invoker of justice and bestowed upon the Hisame the fortitude of their ice, which would grow as they grew. His gift allowed the Hisame ice to slice through the thickest of defenses and bring a crystal gavel down upon their enemies.  
Effect: The critical hit chance given to Combinatorial; Ice techniques increases 5x where x equal to the user's rank. This is an activated effect and may not be activated in consecutive Main Phases.
Requirement: Chuunin, level 40.
Cost: -4
 
Spell of the Frozen Tenshi
Description: At this level of ability a Hisame may create and use Water and Ice Type Jutsu even without a source of water present, using minuscule amounts of water within one's own body will suffice. At this level of bloodline ability a Hisame may meld into objects provided that they are of Water or Ice base, they are only slightly visible and can appear transparent. These Hisame hunters appear as mist children themselves while tailing their prey.  Stories in Kirigakure lore point to children that get lost in the mist and spend the rest of eternity traveling it searching for a way out and will sacrifice weary travelers to escape.  In truth, those children weren't lost at all.  Hisame reaching this strength have been seen commanding the will of water and ice without by their will alone.  The Aspect of Nadare the Lost rumored to be the angel in which the Rokubi dealt a fatal blow to, causing him to merge with the Yokan Prophet, finishing the bloodline limit of the Hisame. As a demon hunter, Nadare’s abilities were profound and the wound he sustained had a dabble of the Rokubi’s chakra left in him as he became human. This trace of demonic energy fused with the Hisame blood, making them effective in dealing with demons.
Effect:  The  user may convert 2 'essence of frost' into 1 'Permafrost' during the set-up phase as an action. Permafrost may be consumed in one of three ways.

• Add one (1) Demonic Ice Crystal Mirror to the field' per Permafrost consumed, to a maximum of 2 Demonic Ice Crystal Mirrors to the field at one time made this way. This may not break the Demonic Ice Crystal Mirrors jutsu's mirror cap.
• Consume one (1) Permafrost to reduce the speed reduction effect of the Demonic Ice Crystal Mirrors jutsu by -1% and increase the chance to dodge by +1%. per 'permafrost' consumed.
• The user may consume two (2) consume 'Permafrost' to eliminate the speed reduction effect of the Demonic Ice Crystal Mirrors jutsu for three (3) turns.

Requirement: Jounin, level 60.
Cost: -3

[Azure]

Designer's Notes

 

- Resub of this bloodline.  Retooled to address the chance in how Ice works and changes to status effects.
- Added additional Sennin level abilities on skills, upped cost to reflect that.
- Moved the Advanced System clause to Cyanosis only.  I strongly feel as though Cyanosis deserves the stamp, but not necessarily the rest of the bloodline.
- I moved an effect from 'Mask Augentations' to 'Gift of Lumen' to account for people who do not wish to have Cyanosis as an AS.
- Removed 'Mask Augmentation' mechanic.  I felt as though it did not currently reflect where I want it to go and should be left on its own for a later date.

[cntrstrk14]

Overall
These names feel very not Haku. Would you be terribly oppose to changing them to be a bit more Japanese? Haku was like one of the early very japanese feeling characters, it's weird his bloodline is very latin.

Gift of Ereptor
Why does this give Wind? That aside, -1 SP for each of the skills leaves -2 SP for the passive -40x Evasion effect. I think this is probably fine as a -2 since it caps at -160 per attack. What do you mean by 'drain' though? Do you mean 'reduce'? Drain is not a term we use and is sort of implies 'stealing' which I don't think you intend.

 

Gift of Bello
Who's rank? The user's? I'm also not a fan of 'chance to afflict' stuff, but as long as its above 50% it usually is at least meaningful. I would almost rather see it use some kind of economy to make it less random instead though. Maybe something where if they are struck twice in a row or something. You're also probably overpaying a bit since its a chance to afflict, but I think this could be more interesting overall.

 

Gift of Magus
Does this replace or add to the current 5%?

 

Gift of Lumen
This is probably okay.

 

Cyanosis
It's really weird to have an AS that is not really under the user's control of when it activates. I feel like maybe you should set it up like a 'channel' on an opponent that has Frozen or Hypothermia. Like if they are afflicted with it you can turn this on to apply it. The reason being that it's odd if you have another AS active and this triggers. Do you ignore this or do you turn off the AS that is already on? if you want to make this a triggered AS you should lay out clear rules that like it cannot trigger if the user has another AS active, and if they activate another AS this ends, etc.

[Azure]

I think this is ready again.  Let me know if it feels more jap yet.

 

Demonic Ice Crystal Blood grants wind...mostly because this mechanic has floated with the bloodline for a while.  I figured since Ice is only a tier 1, giving wind as well is a nice little boost.  

 

Eternity of White Frost: Do you have anything else in mind? Given that I already have a 'twice hit' mechanic I wouldn't want to double dip.  I would not be against bumping the percentage or something.

 

Cyanosis: Do you mean like if they are under Frozen or Hypothermia a player could declare that it becomes active?

[Miso]

Base-

Why -4 for even the base?

 

The evasion reductions are fixed so, to me, unless those reductions as CP add up to -2, I don't see why that one perk should be seen as anything over -1 sp. Also, I feel like the obtaining of subtle elements wind really isn't that steep. Haku's bloodline was supposed to be the premiere ice bloodline and ice being wtr + wnd, is it too far fetched to let it slide? Even then, if we say that ice is tier 1 so -1, adding wind -1, and adding a fixed evasion reduction perk, that is only applied to ice techniques and only lasts 1 turn. -1.

At that point, maybe -3? If we get real strict with it. Before the remake, base was -1 for all the same things.

 

White Frost-

Again, why -4? Is it because of the 75% chance to inflict status effect? I feel like I could see this skill without bloodline flavoring get approved for less, perhaps even -1 or -2. It's just 1 perk that is specialized rather than generalized. "ice ninjutsu" specification.

 

Cold Sorrow-

Another -4 but I don't see why. Specially when it's specialized towards ice ninjutsu, not even all just specific elemental ninjutsu. Also, are we still working crit as percentages? Or am I just understanding it wrong? Cause at a crit chance of 10, are we adding +5 (at genin etc.) or 5%? Cause 5% to 10 would be half a point increase. I've been away, for a while and not just that but haven't got in metagame for 3-4 years maybe?

What is the going rate for a crit range increase skill? I think the premiere crit-fish is Tsubasa, is any of his crit range increasing skills -4? Like that fatal crit skill?

 

 

Just putting a my ten cents in because this stuff will directly effect my character and atm, turning even the base level into a -4 will cause some scheiße with my skill point tally. (wouldn't be able to swap out the old with the new cause the old wasn't -4 and I don't have -4 sp to give up)

[Azure]

The reason these have gone up in price is because I added the Sennin rank for each ability and essentially costed each "rank" as -1.  That would mean getting wind is basically a freebie and has been part of the bloodline forever.   I'm not against adjusting the numbers here, but most of the numbers were kept similar to the ones approved before.  If things are more lenient now great, but that's why things are costed the way they are.

 

If I had to choose between strike twice and a variable chance to afflict, I would much rather choose the variable.  In my experience, it's a lot more useful than relying on a twice-hit mechanic.

 

Critical hits are done by their static numbers, and add onto ice so the final product is a critical hit range of 1-26.

[Kouta]

The names are whatever. They still sound like weird poetry, but its not Lation anymore so...woo?

Demonic Ice Blood: I really would strip wind from this and pop it at -3. Wind has no pre-reqs, and can be taken immediately for 1 SP if a character wants it. But not all characters WANT wind. The point of these "Element+ Access Skills" is that you get the element without having all the necessary parts. If there are no parts to skip (Wind) then it just feels tacked on. This skill is not giving any extra value for Wind, and none of the bloodline focuses on Wind AT ALL.

 

White Frost: I'm with Tony on this one. The % to inflict effects are kind of old phase Na and are going away. I'm also really against letting you plop Hypo;4 on people in one go when the status effect is designed to take two consecutive hits to ramp up to 4. That ability would be this skill all on its own. So, let me propose this, which might give some purpose to "Wind" in the first skill: "When the user chooses 'Subtle Elements; Wind' as their bonus for "Combinatorial; Ice" that jutsu will also inflict one turn of 'Hypothermia; 2'. If the target is already suffering from 'Hypothermia' or 'Frozen' then that jutsu will instead inflict one turn of 'Hypothermia; 4'."

It builds flavorly, because its not really the temperature that makes it cold, most of the time. It's the what? The Wind! So then you have a reason to supply Wind in the first skill, this reigns in a little bit because you cant get the free Hypo while ALSO choosing the cost reduc option. And it keeps the theme of Hypo, which is that it needs to get worse over time. It rewards you for consecutive hits or for applying Hypothermia in advance. And it just always procs. No more chances. I'd price this at -3.

 

Cold Sorrow: This fine. Approved at -4 cuz that's 1.2x the cost on every jutsu you are saving. Worth the invest.

 

Frozen Angels: I don't like this. One, turning a 900 CP nuke into an AoE is 2800 CP and thats not cool. Second, this just feels like an activation trigger for Cyanosis. So I'd scrap this in its entirety. If anything, if you feel like you MUST have a skill here, I'd maybe build into something that boosts Crystal Ice Mirrors, since thats kind of the Haku trademark and is barely even MENTIONED in this bloodline. Although, you probably want Demon Ice Mirrors to be a Skill-Lock Jutsu, so take that as you will.

Cyanosis: The weird elephant in the room. Firstly that Bloodlines don't affect enemies. But this one does. Second is that it...is not the flavor of The Hisame Clan. Like I dig that you wanna make your own stuff. You did it with Byakugan too. But you got a canon clan that never dealt with Ice Corrosion. It feels like a flavor miss. Or some other clan that shouldn't be the Hisame.

 

But if we ignore all that...then I also agree with Tony. Cyanosis should be triggered by the user. I'd tie it to Hypo and Frozen. If a ninja is suffering from both status effects, you can turn on Cyanosis in the set-up phase at a cost of some % Total Chakra (10%?). No Upkeeps, but an activation. OR you declare it and attach it to one of your jutsu that also carries Hypothermia or Frozen (which can be fulfilled by your above skill, adding some much needed synergy) for a much lower % TC (2%?) and you have to hit them with it. Then it lasts for 5 turns, fine. That aside, this is a really weak AS. Normally, AS grant you in the realm of 600 stats, 1200 if they have an upkeep. Then they usually get some effects. This gives you a 400 point deduction and some fail chances. Given that it has no upkeeps, I'd say bring that defense loss up to 600 at the end (100 - 200 - 400 - 600) and keep the fail chances the same.

[Azure]

Alright.  So Miso and I sat down and brain stormed a bit and I'm digging what came out of it.  It should be a lot closer to current NA.

 

Demonic Ice Crystal Blood: Dropped the wind aspect, brought it to -3

 

Eternity of White Frost: Changed how this works! Now an essence economy that grows with the user and spills out to the rest of the bloodline.  It's also been updated to follow current Hypothermia rules and allows for a lot of choice.  And it has a neat bonus for those who invested in wind!

 

Cold Sorrow: Same.

 

Spell of the Frozen Angels: One big dead elephant in the room! As much as I loved Cyanosis, after many months of contemplation I threw in the towel for trying to get it to sync with the system and now it's replaced with some more versatility on the essence economy.  Also it blends in with signature jutsu!

[Princess]

Most of this I'm pretty happy with, I'd have to see in practice how the Essence of Frost charges stack up at higher rank, getting 3 a turn at level 60 is a lot of hypothermia. I think I'd be a little happier with it if you couldn't use the ones you get on the turn you get them? Like, as is, you use the technique, get 3 charges, then spend them and you've got hypothermia for free on top of every technique you use. Most of these kinda things are balanced behind a 'when you hit', things that come in one use I feel should be looked over a little more seriously.

The rest, sure sure sure. Except for Spell of the Frozen Angels. Effect is probably fine but it doesn't make sense.

 

Effect: The skill taker accumulates 1 more Essence of Frost per Eternity of White Frost. The skill taker may convert 2 'essence of frost' into 1 'Permafrost' during the set-up phase. Permafrost may be consumed in one of two ways.

Add one (1) Demonic Ice Crystal Mirror to the field' per Permafrost consumed, to a maximum of 2 Demonic Ice Crystal Mirrors to the field at one time. This may not break the DCIM jutsu's mirror cap.
Consume one (1) Permafrost to reduce the speed effect of the DCIM jutsu by -1% and increase the chance to dodge by +1%. per 'permafrost' consumed.

 

Eternity of White Frost is a passive, you have one of it. Do you mean accumulate 1 more Essence of Frost when Eternity of White Frost is triggered?

When you say DCIM, do you mean DICM, Demonic Ice Crystal Mirror?

[Princess]

Your post and edits on this didn't survive the...unpleasantness...but I believe you got it to a point I was happy to approve it. If you can address my above points again I can get this proverbial ball moving.

[Miso]

I've been absent for a minute on the site and apologies to Blue for that. Didn't mean to leave you hanging bro.

 

On to business,

 

The essences are gained when you use an ice technique but can't be used until the next turn. So, an Hisame could use an ice projectile technique on turn 2 but wouldn't be able to use the essence earned until the next main phase. Because the essence is gained after the ice technique is resolved not before. So, gaining 3 essences wouldn't be used until that next main phase anyways.

 

Spell of Frozen Angels adds +1 to your essence accumulation by taking the skill. For example, Haruyuki, a Sennin, would gain 2 essence of frost by the White Frost skill naturally. Then Spell of Frozen Angles would add +1 to that just by taking the skill. So 3 essences of frost are gained by Haruyuki for meeting all requirements.

 

As for the DCIM, you would be correct. It was our fault for abbreviations in conversation, it was a pain to have to write out the complete name just for rough draft purposes but definitely for the approved version, the skill should clarify the full name instead of the abbreviation.

 

We should clean up the language in the effects for clarity reasons in general though. 

Edited September 4, 2018 by Miso

[Azure]

Miso got the points I had posted before the fire on the nail.  I've went through and swapped out all DMIC to their abbreviated wordage.

 

I chose to gate the 3rd Essence of Frost behind the last skill for balance purposes.  I could break Eternity into ranks if that would be more palatable.  

[Princess]

I can see how you intend them to work in that you earn them turn 1 and use them turn 2, essentially you're implying that the timing to spend essence of white frost is before the timing in which they are earned. You're intending it to be that when you 'use' a technique it goes Technique Declared>Cost Paid (Spend EoF Here)>Technique Used (Gain EoF Here)>Opponent Responds>Technique Resolves. That is exactly how I would like this to work.

THAT SAID, intentions are all well and good but the wording in no way shape or form mandates that. There is no specified timing for the expenditure of EoF, really by the way it is worded you could spend them at any time before they are resolved. So my request that the wording explicitly state you cannot spend charges you earn that turn remains. Either make the charges earned at the end of the turn or that the charges can be spent as part of the cost of a technique to add Hypothermia. Both those changes maintain the ability to get EoF outside of the opponent's interactivity, which is what you want, but they clarify when you spend them to clear up the RAW vs RAI issue we have here.

I didn't have a balance issue with Eternity of White Frost, I had a wording issue with it. It states that you gain 'The skill taker accumulates 1 more Essence of Frost per Eternity of White Frost', which doesn't make sense linguistically. It should be 'The skill taker gains an additional Essence of Frost whenever they would gain one or more Essence of Frost from sources other than this skill.' or something to that effect. The actual getting one more is totally fine, just saying you get one more per Eternity of White Frost is dumb and doesn't work. Eternity of White Frost is a passive skill, it's not something you activate. So as it is written there the skill does nothing as it stipulates a nonsense trigger to resolve an effect. Keep the mechanics the same, fix the wording. 

[Miso]

I have no objections to either request. I think the wording suggested for Spell of Frozen Angels is very clear, I like it. I also have no problem with adding that essences are gained at the end of the turn.

 

Final say is up to Blue but I am okay with both suggestions, as the only other Hisame user. (to my knowledge.)

[Azure]

Sure.

[Princess]

Approved. Wording looks good all over, mechanics were never a super issue for me until I see them play out, but I'm confident this will play out all good. Well done.

[cntrstrk14]

Demonic Ice Crystal
The wording here is a bit... open for confusion. You say "Each hit with a technique" which will mean only once per technique, but could easily be read as 'each strike with a technique' but a careless reader. I would just say...

 

"Whenever this user hits an opponent with a technique that has the 'Combinatorial; Ice' descriptor, reduce their Evasion by 40x for one (1) turn, where x is equal to the user's ninja rank."

 

 

Eternity of White Frost
... So this seems like you're giving the player a lot of options, but you're not at all. Hypothermia has a maximum amount of stacks it can apply at a time, which is two. You spend EoF at a 1:1 ratio to give attacks Hypothermia, and after Chuunin rank you get 2 EoF per technique used. So this all just reads "All attacks after the first gain Hypothermia; 2." You have the choice to do Frozen instead, but that basically seems like a "if they have max Hypothermia I have a backup plan. 

 

I would also say in here somewhere that it only gains Essence of Frost on the first jutsu used per turn, or otherwise cap it if this is intended. Otherwise you could gain potentially infinite EoF with a cheap free action jutsu. And if it IS intended, it even makes less choice if you can always use two Ice jutsu per turn then you can always add Hypothermia and Frozen to every single attack every turn.

 

I think this is a bit too oppressive. Being able to add 30-75 CP to every attack without any pausing seems like a bit much. I see that later skills make use of EoF, but the baseline here seems a bit much. This is something I would expect to see as part of an activated Advanced System, not just a passive skill for a player.

 

Also also, you keep swapping between "the skill taker" and "the user". Pick one and make them all the same.

 

 

Wrath of Cold Sorrow
Is this an active or passive ability? It would normally be passive, but I ask because this is unclear if its increasing the ability from Combinatorial; Ice or if it is adding to it. Also, element specific Sinister Strike tied to a clan that gives +5% chance to crit at -4 SP instead of -5 SP seems very very strong. Also you can remove "Genin" on here when you have "Chuunin" as the requirement. Just say "Chuunin or below" or something to cover DB characters.

 

 

Spell of the Frozen Angels
Is this "+1% per Permafrost" or "+1% per Permafrost per Mirror"? How long does this last? Until the last mirror is broken? Please say how long.

 

Also, could you apply water or wind subtle element twice with this ability?

 

-1 Permafrost to completely eliminate the Demonic Ice Mirrors Speed downside for 4 turns is a pretty big steal and the most value yet.

For discussion sake, here is a bullet form of EoF gains and spends.

• Gain: Two (2) per Ice Jutsu used (Chuunin+)
• Gain: One (1) additional per Ice Jutsu used (Jounin, lvl 60)
• Spend: 1-2 EoF to added Hypothermia; x to an Ice Jutsu
• Spend: 2 EoF to add Frozen to an Ice Jutsu
• Spend[Set-up Phase]: 2 EoF to make one (1) Permafrost
• Spend: 1 Permafrost to make one (1) Demonic Ice Mirror
• Spend: 1 Permafrost to negate -1% Speed and gain +1% chance to dodge [Demonic Ice Mirror]
• Spend: 1 Permafrost to negate all Speed negatives [Demonic Ice Mirror]

[Azure]

Dragged this back into the garage, banged it up a few times and make it purtier.

 

I played around with the Essence of Frost economy, making a higher bar in some instances, streamlined the effects and gutted a lot of bloat that...was fun to come up in certain instances but didn't go well in the long run.

[Princess]

Alright let's go through bits of this:

Demonic Ice Crystal Blood: Yeah you folded Tony's wording in here, and this is not like the normal combi for 0 skills, it doesn't replace the village skill, so it doesn't need to jank around with the wording changes that happened. So I am cool with this, Approved.

Eternity of White Frost: While it sounds fancier, the standard term for the accrual of charges is 'gain' not 'accumulate'. I feel we should aim for standardised wording wherever we can, and the simpler the better, so no one is seeing different wordings on similar mechanics and causing confusion where none should be. Few other tweaks, I feel it should go like this:

'When the user uses a technique with the Combinatorial; Ice descriptor, they gain x 'Essence of Frost', where x is equal to their ninja rank (x cannot be greater than three (3)).  Only three Essences of Frost may be gained per turn. As a free action in the user's Main Phase, they may spend two (2) 'Essence of Frost' to add one (1) turn of 'Hypothermia; 1' to their next technique with Combinatorial; Ice this phase. For an additional Essence of Frost, this may instead become 1 turn of 'Hypothermia; 2'.   'Essence of Frost' may not be spent in the same Main Phase Action that created them. ' That said, this is my wording so...take it with salt. So much salt. Maybe rework it to function for other minds.

Wrath of Cold Sorrow: So its an activated one for sure now, meaning it gets to the higher value, hmmm. This is one that keeps popping up and irritates me, there are three kinds of effects, Activated, Passive and Triggered, but shockingly most effects only actually pay attention to the first two. Critical is a big bad here. I'm gonna bother GM about this later. It irritates me. I think this is reasonably fine as is, it has a cooldown of a turn, does that in your mind mean a full turn has to pass until it activates again or does it mean you can use it once per turn? If the latter, maybe say that instead of using the term cooldown.

Spell of the Frozen Tenshi: So. during the set-up phase we make permafrost. Cool. How? Setup phase action? Free action in the setup phase? I feel this needs clarification. This kinda goes for the whole skill. 'Consume' is not an action, it's a mechanic that is talked about across lots of skills, but traditionally a specific action allows you to consume things. So if you want this done in the setup phase (where I think this should be) and make it a setup phase action (which I kinda feel it should be?) you'll need to state that. Extra mirrors is fine. My big concern in the last two is that in the second option you say 'speed effect', and in the last option you say 'speed reduction effect'. You should have standardised terminology throughout your skills. The actual effects have been brought in line with Tony's requests as I can see, you clearly state what the bonus is and where it comes from, we just need to clarify the action economy here and we should be good.

[Azure]

Eternity: Well, okay.  I updated it to say 'gained' instead of 'accumulated' but I honestly feel like that clarification is unnecessary.  I don't think our glossary needs an update for every word we decide to use.  I get that this is the trading card philosophy, but it's such a negotiable change that these inaccuracies define the "custom" ability.   I am going to leave the rest of the skill as is, because it is the most succinct way for my mind (and Miso's), but will change if required? 

 

Wrath: It requires one full turn to pass.  Otherwise, it would be needless fluff to add that if it automatically regenerates through a natural passage of a turn.  I will clarify it to be consecutive Main Phases.

 

Spell: Added as a set up phase action? I feel like this is largely unnecessary, because anything that does not specifically state it is not a free action is automatically an action. I see where you're coming from, but I feel like NA's mechanics are "if you state a phase, everything is an action unless otherwise stated." Clarified reduction effects.

[Princess]

Nah yeah, if you think it's a clearer and more concise way of putting it, don't princess it up and have tony come slap it down. Wise move there.

The clarifications more or less address what I was looking for, or give cause as to why not to. I'm happy.

But last time I was happy, Tony was not. So. We will see how this plays out.

Approved.

[Cellar Door]

Approved