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Secret Lightning Type; Preliminary Breakdown (Raiton Hijutsu; Yobiteki Ketsuretsu)

Type: Ninjutsu (Ligtning)

Rank: Sennin

Cost: 350 + (350) Chakra

Damage: 300

Effect: Opponent is under the effects of 'Metabolic Break Down' for three turns. -300 Evasion to dodge this technique. The cost within the ()'s is not paid until the turn after the opponent is hit with this jutsu. If this jutsu misses or is dodged/blocked/negated by any means the user does not pay the cost within the ()'s. If the jutsu deals damage to anything, whether it be the opponent, a shield or a clone, the cost within the ()'s must be paid.

Description: The vast majority of lightning flashes between cloud and ground begin in the cloud with a process known as the preliminary breakdown. After perhaps a tenth of a second, a highly branched discharge, the stepped leader, appears below the cloud base and propagates downward in a succession of intermittent steps. The leader channel is usually negatively charged, and when the tip of a branch of the leader gets to within about 30 m (100 ft) of the ground, the electric field becomes large enough to initiate one or more upward connecting discharges, usually from the tallest objects in the local vicinity of the leader. When contact occurs between an upward discharge and the stepped leader, the first return stroke begins. The return stroke is basically a very intense, positive wave of ionization that propagates up the partially ionized leader channel into the cloud at a speed close to the speed of light. After a pause of 40–80 milliseconds, another leader, the dart leader, forms in the cloud and propagates down the previous return-stroke channel without stepping. When the dart leader makes contact with the ground, a subsequent return stroke propagates back to the cloud. A typical cloud-to-ground flash lasts 0.2–0.3 s and contains about four return strokes; lightning often appears to flicker because the human eye is capable of just resolving the interval between these strokes. Taking this concept, Alchem Syaoran has developed a jutsu that allows him to use this property of electricity to target an opponent. By creating a preliminary breakdown from his own body, Syaoran can quickly and effectively draw a direct line from his body to his opponent's. Once this line is drawn, the opponent's body will send a small electrical charge back through the connection between them. Once this small connecting bridges the gap, Syaoran's chakra will surge forth through the line with a brilliant blast of white and blue lighting, searing through anything in its way towards its target. The speed of this process and its ability to lock onto an opponent makes it incredibly difficult to dodge.

Requirements:

-Elemental Specialty; Lightning

Points: 11

- Click the link here to see the concept behind this jutsu.

Secret Alchem Type; Graphene Bunker (Alchem Hijutsu; Graphene Bankā)

Type: Ninjutsu (Steel)

Rank: Sennin

Cost: x Chakra

Damage: n/a

Effect: May be used in the Main Phase or Response Phase. If used in the Response Phase user skips their Main Phase. Creates a shield around the user and/or any number of target characters of the user's choosing. If used to block an attack for an ally, the user's turn must fall between the opponents and the allies. The shield has health points equal to x + the user's ninjutsu modifier. Minimum of 50 chakra must always be paid, maximum of 900 chakra may be paid. Blocks all attacks directed at the shielded targets this turn. Characters within the shield may not target characters outside the shield, and vice versa. The shield may be targeted by both ends. If an attack from outside the shield would deal damage exceeding the HP of the shield, the remaining damage carries over to target character(s) within the shield. If the shield was the target of the damage that carries over, everyone within the shield will roll a dodge roll with a 50% unmodified chance to be hit by the remaining damage; If the user of this jutsu chooses so, they may take the extra damage rather than have the others within the shield roll to dodge. If less than 50% of the total damage breaks through the shield any effects of the jutsu that are not damage based (bleeding damage for instance) are negated. This jutsu may be deactivated at any point by the user as a free action. The user may spend their main phase paying the cost of this jutsu again to add additional health to the shield with the same equation as above. If an attack would normally deal additional damage to a shield, it does not deal its additional damage. Usable two times per battle.

Description: Graphene is a one-atom-thick planar sheet of sp2-bonded carbon atoms that are densely packed in a honeycomb crystal lattice. It can be viewed as an atomic-scale chicken wire made of carbon atoms and their bonds. The name comes from GRAPHITE + -ENE; graphite itself consists of many graphene sheets stacked together. The carbon-carbon bond length in graphene is approximately 1.42 Å. Graphene is the basic structural element of all other graphitic materials including graphite, carbon nanotubes and fullerenes. It can also be considered as an infinitely large aromatic molecule, the limiting case of the family of flat polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons called graphenes. Alchem Syaoran, after studying in depth research on graphene, decided to conduct a shielding experiment with the material. With using only a quarter inch thick piece of graphene, he was able to create a very powerful shielding technique that could block even the strongest of attacks. What else was amazing, was that because of the relatively low amount of resources needed to construct the dome like structure itself, it could easily be spread over very wide areas and across multiple people. Of course, this jutsu can only be constructed correctly with the help of alchemy, as the composition and construction of the elements is key to the jutsu's correct application. The dome that is formed when this technique is used is not rounded, but a strange curved dome made up of flat octagonal pieces.

Requirements:

-Elemental Specialty; Fire

-Elemental Specialty; Earth

Points: 13

Posted (edited)

1) Uhh, no on the "Non-wasteable" chakra costs. Everyone else with variable damage has to pay it no matter what, so what makes you special? If you miss, or get blocked, you get messed up like everyone else.

2) Why does your shield get modded by ninja? Nobody else's variable shield does. Again, why are you special? I thought it was agreed that if it didn't target an enemy, it doesn't get a mod. That's how medical ninjutsu work (unless you take the appropriate skills). Also, why would a jutsu that deals bonus damage to a shield not work here? It sounds more like you just want a cheap ass shield you barely have to pay for, when I can see no reason why that would occur.

Edited by Kouta
Posted

The reason for the effects is in the description, the cost I pay if I miss is probably a bit on the low side, I'll boost it up some. I don't see a huge problem with that effect though, as I am pretty sure Exodus had a jutsu or two with a similar effect approved at Jounin or Chuunin level. Also, I removed the 'x' cost as I felt it was a bit too flexible to be fair. I changed it to a static amount of damage, I have enough 'x' jutus anyways.

As for the second jutsu, the reason for not being able to be dealt additional damage by jutsu comes from the fact that it is made of what is said to be (arguably) the strongest molecular structure known the man. If you are going to question why a shield can negate those effects, I would start to question then why a jutsu can have that effect in the first place. On second thought though, I do thin that the 1.5x is a bit much and I will lower that to just x. As for the ninjutsu modifier, this jutsu was already approved with the exact same concept, the only difference here is that it is converted into HP instead of directly negating. The rule for modifiers is not 'if it doesn't effect the opponent it doesn't get modifiers' it is 'if there is no modifier being used to clash against this modifier, it does not receive modifiers'. So as long as the opponent's attacks on the shield are indeed modified by their own stats, I see no problem with modifying my shield to stand against these attacks with the same modifier.

Lastly, when did our staff members start to become so spiteful in the approval process? I made a comment about Warr the other day in an organization thread and now I am being asked 'why am I special' and treated like I am trying to cheat the system instead of just discussing the jutsu. Grow up.

Posted

Cntr, I've always been spiteful. You just happen to provide the most complicated jutsu that have the most loopholes in them that I can see being abused, especially by a character like yours who seems to push against every boundary that already exists. Used to be Lemon receiving the same treatment. I attacked him in a much larger fiery rage than I've ever used against you. Or anyone for that matter. You're also not the only one whom I ask "why are you special?" to. I do that a lot.

As for the jutsu in question that you use to "defend" your current one, I didn't like that one either. I STILL don't get the math on that one. (Unless my math sucks, you only have to pay more than 90 chakra if the enemy is much WEAKER than yourself. Since your mod is small, their damage has to be less than your mod to cause you to have anything other than 0 in the X slot. Which means they have to be considerably weaker than you to cause that jutsu to cause anything less than 0...which seems broken to me. It is perhaps complicated math problems like this which I'm going to have to go into more detail on now that make me question 90% of your jutsu.) In fact, as the topic shows, I openly objected against the jutsu. You are essentially saying that since you made something I didn't like before, it gives you an open pass to make something I still don't like, which, logically, makes little sense.

^ I kept the above in italics because I wrote it and didn't want it erased. I DID however, finally understand the aforementioned jutsu you linked. The wording is VERY confusing, but I finally sorted it out (like Shakespeare or something). Although I do have to set something straight. If you guys have been approving jutsu based on the base costs of them, or on base damage, then there has been a large breakdown in how I've always approved defensive jutsu, which always required you to pay to block the total damage (inclusive of modifiers) no matter what kind of shield you were using.

More on the actual jutsu INSIDE the topic, however.

- Why are effects negated? If the shield is essentially broken (by having the jutsu come through anyways), how are you still protected?

- The hardness of the shield has no bearing on the fact that I try harder than normal to break a shield (by lacing the attack with bonus chakra, or more stamina in a fancy taijutsu punch). In fact, it makes MORE sense for me to try harder to break a shield that is supposedly "impregnable" in an effort to prove your "hardest substance ever" concept wrong.

I think, however, you and I had differing images on what "bonus damage to a shield was" in which you were probably referring to a crappy effect that says something like "deals extra damage to shields" for no apparent reason other than to spite shield users. I was referring to a jutsu that may have said something like "If this jutsu is defended by a shield type jutsu, you may pay X chakra to deal an extra 1/2Y damage to the shield," in which case it is a matter of adding additional chakra to the attack, which the hardness of your shield has no effect on.

Also, I read your description for the first jutsu, and all it did was confuse me, not tell me anything about why you only have to pay for your damage if you hit somebody. I'd appreciate a very "laymans term" explanation to that one.

Posted

The basic idea behind the blocking of the effects is that the shield absorbs the damage of the effects. I have editted it some now so that it only locks the effect if less than 50% of the total damage makes it through the shield, which should make more sense.

As for the additional damage for a shield, we do seem to have a different idea of what I mean. I do mean to negate techniques such as 'This jutsu deals 1.5x damage to shields'. If you have to pay an additional cost for additional damage to a shield, I wouldn't consider that effected by how I worded the above. Seems we were just confused there.

As for the lightning jutsu, watch the video first.

Ok, now that you watched the video, basically this jutsu happens in two portions. The first part is a wave of electricity that passes out towards the opponent to draw a line to them (the first portion of the video). If they opponent is not found, the jutsu will not fire as it needs something to return a charge with enough voltage to be considered alive. Since the second part does not fire, the chakra is not spent for the jutsu. If the opponent is found, the jutsu is fired with the majority of its power and the enemy takes the attack. Though of course if they block it with

Posted

I know this has really nothing of major importance here and all, but I was reading this and I noticed that cntr you forget to take out the

The amount of 'x' must be stated when this jutsu is used and may never exceed 400.
part.
Posted

Fact: Graphene is not the hardest substance known to man.

See: Aggregated diamond nanorods, bose-einstein condensates

The latter of which have a number of more interesting properties, largely magnetic in nature.

Posted

MD: Strongest, not hardest. There is an important difference. Thought if aggregated diamond nanorods are stronger as well as harder, I'll just shut my mouth, lol.

Posted

They're both way up there, but diamond nanorods trump. BECs are unimaginably dense, but they have other weird properties, so they make bad shields.

Way to quote wikipedia in the description, btw. You even used the symbol instead of saying Angstroms.

Also, Kouta: See Rashoumon for ninjutsu modifying shield health.

Posted

The funny thing is I quoted something else that had quoted wiki. But of course I would, I don't want to write out a description like that myself when one is lying around for me to plagarized.

Posted

I would like the Lightning jutsu to have some chance of hitting anyone on the field, allies included. Say, everyone rolls to dodge, and whoever fails their dodge roll by the largest amount is hit. I think this is in keeping with the nature of the physical process which inspired it, and it makes the might-be-payed chakra more palatable.

The Alchem technique is fine - it's a weakened Rashoumon - and since I will never take it, I supposed I can approve it.

Posted

^ I like MD's suggestion for the lightning. Everyone on the field (aside from user, but including your clones, summons, etc) should roll to dodge. Whoever fails the most is hit.

As for shield of doom, a few things I have to bring up:

1) Does the shield, like, follow you? Otherwise, wouldn't it cancel if you moved before the enemy hit you?

2) What about techniques that don't deal damage? Does that merit a free block (or in this case, 50 chakra)? (I understand this is more of a general shield question I should bring up, but it occurred to me here).

3) I don't think you should choose who gets hit. Everyone inside the shield is hit equally, please. You don't get to choose where the shield breaks, now do you?

4) Again, I'm finding difficulty with negating effects unless 100% of the jutsu is blocked. If I spew a poison cloud at you, and it deals only 5 damage to you, you STILL inhaled my poison, which means you should get poisoned.

Posted

1) It's a dome, which is why you can't attack out or attack in.

2) Yes, which is why the minimum cost is placed within there. I believe all or most shields work this way.

3) I would argue that I could control where the shield breaks, but the real problem is that the opponent who is attack cannot target a player within the shield, only the shield itself. So someone has to make a choice of where the damage goes once the shield is broken, and I think it would make most sense for the person in control of the shield to determine where it broke.

4) My view is that when the shield is broken, that the shield fragments are tossed at the people inside, and not the actual attack itself. So if less than 50% of the damage breaks through, I see it not as the actual attack hitting, but the fragments of shield dealing the damage instead.

EDIT: For the shield, I changed the effects to this, 'If an attack from outside the shield would deal damage exceeding the HP of the shield, the remaining damage carries over to target character(s) within the shield. If the shield was the target of the damage that carries over, everyone within the shield will roll a dodge roll with a 50% unmodified chance to be hit by the remaining damage; If the user of this jutsu chooses so, they may take the extra damage rather than have the others within the shield roll to dodge.'

Also, for the lightning jutsu, I will have to think about an appropriate way to do damage like that to multiple people. The idea you both proposed would be a problem, because it would take an entire round of everyone dodging before you know who was hit with the jutsu, which is not only annoying for the user (especially since it could be multiple of their turns until they know who was hit) but it also does not fit into the description of the technique, which is a quick and sudden strike of lighting.

Posted

Why would it deal damage to multiple people? The "stepped leader" portion is only determining the target - that's the point of its cost being separate from the damage-dealing portion, is it not? But I take your point exceedingly well about the speed of the attack. This, however, is a flaw with anything dodged in the response phase - you have to wait to find out if it hit.

Posted

@lightning jutsu-

Just a suggestion, but everyone could just roll outside of their Response Phase for the purpose of determining right away who got hit. Then you could just give them a mini response phase where they roll to doge. Or wait until their actual response phase.

Posted

I wasn't saying it would deal damage to multiple people, but that it would just involve multiple targets.

@Rachel: That would be a good idea, but I would never, ever want to open the flood gates for techniques that did an effect like that. Phases would be thrown out the window.

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